DH and I are in relationship counselling and a huge part of rebuilding our marriage is being healthier together as it's a huge value of mine after some healthy issues.
Historically, he's turned every attempt at living a healthier lifestyle together into a competition, even confronting me about wrappers he's found in the bin and seeing any blips I've had as a free ticket out of eating healthier, being healthier himself- even though it's what he wants!!
Part of our therapy has been around being healthier when we're together-only opting for healthy choices around each other, and getting into a pattern of time together= being healthy. Not competing but supporting each other.
This has been working at times over the last week when we began, I feel better supported since we agreed this and he is trying more not to eat packets of crisps infront of me. The idea is to positively influence each other. He has told the counsellor that his appearance is causing him low confidence and low self esteem so it is what he wants too.
But... this weekend has thrown up some issues. I made a healthy casserole for us all with baked potatoes and as I was putting the potatoes in the oven, he added another to the tray. These baking potatoes are absolutely huge. He's just eaten his casserole with 2 enormous baked potatoes slathered in butter. A complete over indulgence. I don't want to say anything as I'm trying not to judge or criticise and just to foster this healthy eating ethos as suggested by our counsellor, but it has really annoyed me. Part of my concern has been the example we're setting our DCs, not just by what we eat, but also our portion sizes, which he knows. He has even had the audacity to blame my portion sizes over the years on his weight gain!!
He also made us a beautiful salad on Saturday afternoon containing nuts and a range of vegetables, but ate a round of bread and a packet of crisps whilst chopping the veg and then told me about it (I never saw him do it). I also caught him panic eating peanut butter from the jar just as we were going to bed last night after eating a late, filling thai meal I'd made us with healthy sides so plenty of food.
I'm starting to wonder if he's really even capable of properly doing this together and whether actually, he could have some sort of food addiction/ disorder that is going to make this too difficult?
Is there other things we can do to support each other better?