Feeling so low

[Zazu44]

I don't know what to do and am so miserable. I need to lose weight around 2/3 stone but just can't stick to anything and constantly binge on crap as a way of feeling better but as we all know it doesn't work.
Suffer with depression anyway but am always able to put on a brave face to others, underneath I hate me.

Is there anyone in the same place or has been in the past and can help me, I think this is a last ditch attempt and sometimes I just don't want to be here anymore

16/8! Have a look, it changed my life!

It’s so hard to try and lose weight when you don’t feel well mentally,. I’ve been where you are and have lost 4 stone, so it can be done. What worked for me was to not start by cutting calories but look at it as more of a lifestyle overhaul. That got me into a much more positive way of thinking about things, because even if I don’t do so well on the food front, I may still have done ok on exercise, sleep or whatever. As long as there’s something positive, that’s a win 🙂

This is the approach I took - allowing a few weeks for each step to become more of a habit, before moving on to the next one:

• I started by trying to make sure I get enough sleep. I’m a terrible sleeper, so can’t say I’ve been 100% successful at that, but it’s better than it used to be.

• Then I added in some light exercise. A daily 30 minute walk in my case.

• Then I looked at what more I could do to support my mental health. I started keeping a wellness journal, which helped me feel like I had a bit more control over my feelings, or at least helped me understand why I ate all the crap that I did. I also started meditation using the Headspace app. I’m not particularly consistent with any of that, but have found it beneficial at times and just knowing I have that to fall back onto is quite reassuring.

• It was only after all that, that I started looking at my diet. First I had a few weeks of just trying to eat better. More fruit & veg, more home cooked meals and a few supplement that are proven to help with mental health (vitamin B, omega 3 and a probiotic). I still allowed myself all the crap I wanted, but found that the more healthy food I ate, the less interesting eating rubbish became,

• Only when I managed to turn healthy (-ish) eating into a bit more of a habit, did I start counting calories. I set my calorie goal pretty high, thinking that it’d be better to lose weight slowly than to lose it quickly and give up after few days. A year later and I’ve gone from obese to a healthy BMI, so that was definitely the right approach to take for me,

Just take it one day at a time and accept that there will be setbacks along the way. That absolutely does not mean you are failing. You are just trying to cope with what life throws at you

I really feel for you as I have been where you are now. I’ve always had to watch my weight but lost over 3 stone in the first 1 1/2 years since lockdown. I had tried numerous times before and would give up (sometimes in the same day). My bingeing was out of control and I felt terrible about myself. I still have about half stone to lose but focusing more on getting fit now rather than weight loss as I am having a difficult time right now with other health issues. But I have been maintaining since end of August which is a great achievement for me. I still have the occasional more indulgent day but my eating habits are not completely out of control like before.
No magic cure but I couldn’t do it when I was already feeling so down. Several things happened for me: I had counselling re some trauma from earlier in my life which also helped with my confidence. I was happier and this led to a closer relationship with DH. I am autistic and introverted and lockdown helped give me a much needed break from the outside world so my stress levels went down and although it wasn’t all plain sailing I enjoyed the first lockdown being at home, having time to myself and hanging out with DH and our dog.
I know all those factors won’t be relevant to you, but I would say work on your confidence, make quality time for yourself and maybe even look into counselling to get to the root of your eating problems. Once you are feeling more positive about yourself it becomes easier. Make small changes to your eating and if you make a slip up and binge it’s ok. Just eat normally again from your next meal. This helps with the guilt: one binge or meal out doesn’t ruin anything, as long as you eat reasonably well the rest of the time.

Oh and I completely agree about this being a lifestyle overhaul. This is a permanent way of eating for me now. So no crash diets etc which can make bingeing worse. Just healthy choices