Encouragement for those of us lacking it elsewhere!

[SpringChickenSubstitute]

I’m smarting today because my weighing scales told me that since I started dieting in January I’ve lost 2.3kg, but instead of saying something pleasant like, “you’ve made a good start, well done”, or even just, “oh that’s nice dear”, my DH scoffed and argued!

He Told me I had probably weighed myself at an inconsistent time of day, or had worn less clothes, or had a big poo (yes, he did say that). So I said, “well I don’t think any of those things actually apply because last time I weighed myself for my hospital appointment and I wanted to appear as light as possible, and my clothes are not that heavy so maybe a kilo of real weight loss then”.

I heard DH start to reply, “humph I doubt it, it’s all just water loss….” as I walked away, feeling decidedly cross, to listen to some music and do chores and pretend DH doesn’t exist while I calmed down.

So now I’m starting this thread, for anyone who has lost even the tiniest bit of weight, or walked an extra thousand steps yesterday, or ditched the biscuits in favour of an apple to say…

Well done. Keep it up. You’re doing really well and I’m proud of you.

Meanwhile I’m going to pursue my weight loss target of 2.5 stone and deny I’ve lost any weight whenever anyone mentions it when DH is around, and say lightly, “oh no, I haven’t even lost a gram of real weight. I’m just I’m carrying less water and had a massive dump this morning, isn’t that right my darling?”

What an arse.

You are doing amazingly! Your dh is a misery guts. Dh is currently cutting back and has lost 2kg so far. I’m taking him out for a (skinny!) coffee to celebrate. It’s a shame yours isn’t more supportive. Surely he could muster a “well done” rather than trying to knock you down. Is he like that in other areas of life?

Concentrate on how well you’re doing and the little victories that aren’t just weight loss. Have you started to notice you’re feeling healthier or fitter yet? Skin looking brighter?

Keep at it.

Sorry but you have bigger problems than your weight.. your DH is an awful person. How can you live with someone so negative and critical?

@CookPassBabtridge, You are right, yes, I think I do have bigger problems. And yes, he is always like this - nothing I achieve is ever a real achievement. There's always something I should have/could have done better, cheaper, smarter, quicker. My mum used to say he was jealous of me, but I think it's just plain, old-fashioned contempt. I'm mostly used to it, but just occasionally like today, his words still have the power to wound me.

Maybe why I started comfort-eating and got pudgy in the first place is the basic crapness of my marriage.

When I told DH I felt upset be cause I felt his attitude belittled my real struggle to kick all sorts of habits and totally change my lifestyle, he absolutely flew off the handle and said I make up things all the time to paint him as the bad guy. He hasn't spoken to me since, which is frankly a mercy!

@PurpleDaisies thanks, yes I am doing amazingly I agree! I have terrible willpower, and I'm an emotional eater (tendency to binge also). So a diet, when I'm still cooking normal food for the test of the family, is tough for me. I'm so glad you are encouraging your DH, and if his willpower slips, you can be there to remind him he CAN stick to his diet and exercise plan, and you've got his back every inch of the way. It means so much to have someone cheering you on.

Thanks for not taking my comment badly, I just hate to see women living with men who make snide comments, don't encourage, are always negative.. I just want to scream "you really don't have to live like this! Life is short and there are better men out there, or you would be happier single"
It just chips away at the soul being around people like this.
I wish you all the luck in the world losing the weight and hope it gives you the confidence to make a bigger change.

@SpringChickenSubstitute Well I for one think you are doing fabulously!! Well bloody done! 💪👏👍

Sorry your DH is being like this. I just wanted to pick up the point where you said “a diet, while I’m still cooking normal food for the rest of the family, is tough for me”. Can I ask what sort of stuff you’re having, and what they’re having? I find it easier all round to cook mostly the same for us all, and I just put less on my plate, or less of the carbs specifically. But I actually realised that I need to change all of our habits for the long term.

For example, I’ve switched to wholemeal pasta (which no one has even noticed!). I do notice that wholemeal spaghetti just isn’t the same as white, but I use half and half. I’ve started making my own pasta sauces instead of jars, which have a lot of added sugar and salt. DH actually preferred mine. I now bulk out bolognese with loads of mushrooms, courgettes, peppers, sometimes lentils etc.

I grew up on the traditional meat and 2 veg, heavy meals, sugary breakfast cereals, and rarely salads. I’ve recently started to change this, and in time, I hope my children will get used to it. So when they’re older, it will be completely normal for them to eat healthy oats, seeds, nuts, wholewheat grains etc. And they won’t have to change their whole way of eating.

Personally, I wouldn’t tell him anything from now on. I’d not tell him about steps or exercise too.

Don’t let him poo poo your victories.

Just want to say you are doing amazing, ignore your DH. He is being an arse and you don't need that negativity. Just stop telling him and share with friends who will celebrate your losses with you.

Your husband or partner should be supporting you not trying to bring you down. Ive recently started slimming world, DH has stopped bringing home treats and celebrated my loss with me this week.

This is why I lost 18Kg + without telling anyone I was trying.

Just get on with it, join a thread here, and be pleased, be VERY pleased with your own success.

Every 250g is the equivalent of a pack of butter lost from your body.

You have done REALLY well. You can keep going!

Well done, you are doing an amazing job! Use it as ammunition to prove him wrong!! 💪🌟

Well done on your weight loss.
He's being an arse. Every pound is a victory.