I can't believe I've let myself get this bad

[wantingtovchange]

I've put on a lot of weight. I've been out of control on my eating. Eating whole big packets of biscuits like the family packs, at least twice a day and chocolates or a whole cake. I enjoy it and then feel regret and ill, all most dizzy. But then I do it again later. I think partly it's boredom. At home with a toddler, but we do stuff which I love. I do find it stressful as have a school age Dc too.

So I've weighted myself and I have tried to stop this week. I have put on 13 kg in six months. I have stopped the biscuits, but I seem to compulsive eat something else. I'm craving it.

I'd like to say I have a very healthy diet apart from the terrible binge snacks. I eat 3 meals a day also, which are balanced. Lots of vegetables, some fruits. I don't drink. I know what has happened to me?

Sounds like you might have vitamin/mineral deficiencies. I find I do the bing eating thing when I’m run down. I also find it’s linked to daylight levels. Try getting outside more, sitting in the sun when you can. Take a good supplement.

I can relate to this so much. I have also been binge eating snacks - I think in my case it’s a raging sugar addiction that I need to break. I’ve tried willpower, hypnosis, diets, I even started a fad shake diet last year out of shear desperation, but it didn’t work out. What are you trying to prevent the binge eating? I signed up to Noom a couple of days ago, I like it so far but it’s early days. Good luck, I hope you find a way to regain control

@UnicornsReal

Sounds like you might have vitamin/mineral deficiencies. I find I do the bing eating thing when I’m run down. I also find it’s linked to daylight levels. Try getting outside more, sitting in the sun when you can. Take a good supplement.

Magnesium and protien I think.

Have you considered therapy and/or a nutritionalist? Something has gone badly wrong hasn't it...you can't be that bored surely? I think for it to get this bad you are going to need some help to get back on track.

OP, I don't know what to say except I could have written this post myself, word for word. Even down to the toddler part. I need to loose a minimum of 2 stones. Ideally 3. I am heavier than I as when I gave birth and I thought that was bad!

I 100% know how you feel. I binge snack. I've just ate 3 packs of mini crisps and a a pack of chocolate buttons and feel sick. I do so well all day! Little carbs, plenty of protein and vegetables, fruit. Little bit of exercise here and there too. Then the evening comes and it feels like I'm out of control.

I desperately want to get my motivation back. I keep telling myself "you are what you eat" and "you eat to live, not live to eat" almost like a bloody mantra - wish I could get a grip on this.

I'm here for a hand hold, support, or even to start something if you want...at this point, I'd do anything to feel healthy and energetic again.

Definitely would love a hand hold. I know it's not uncommon. But yes I weight more than after giving birth now too. I checked my my fitness pal.

I doubt I'm lacking in much. I have a good diet, just I have all the extra ontop. Could up the protein a bit. I make a multivitamin. But the days are long and I reward myself for going for a walk with the toddler and dog, or going out to play with the toddler, or being woken up early or managing to clean anything. The reward is nice tasty snacks, lots of them, but not a good reward for my body. It's like once I start I can't stop and want more.

It sounds stress-related. When I’m stressed my thoughts turn to doing this. I have had it under control for several years now mainly because when I feel the urge I can tell myself “that’s not the answer, it’s going to make you feel worse”. I also allow myself a small amount of chocolate or crisps every day which reduces the urge, rather than banning those foods completely. I also have a range of things I turn to - taking a walk instead, running a lovely bath, reading or just keeping busy with something else, even if it’s just folding washing. Not sure if that helps

That’s exactly my problem - once I start I can’t stop, and the urge to start is so strong! I don’t eat one KitKat, I eat 3, followed by a couple of caramel wafer bars and a pack of Jaffa cakes! I’m trying to find a way to break the habit and not have the first one. Have you tried any of the free hypnosis recordings on YouTube? If not then give the David McGraw one a go, I was getting good results with his when I first started, but then did my usual self sabotage and stopped listening to it…

How old are you ? Is peri menopause kicking in ?

I think behind any kind of compulsive behaviour there usually is some kind of uncomfortable feelings you are trying to avoid processing. As a previous poster said, there must be more than boredom to it.

Has anything changed in your life recently? Any source of frustration or worry? Any old wounds coming up?

I think therapy would serve you well in getting to the bottom of this.

@SomewhereOnlyIKnow

How old are you ? Is peri menopause kicking in ?

I'm 41, I have a two year old and a 5 year old. I WFH freelance, no fixed hours, so no childcare.

@HacerSonarSusPasos what sort of therapy would help? Like CBT?

I can say I am prone to compulsive behaviours. I had a period of drinking way too much pre kids when I worked in London, but I changed and now I rarely drink. Say Christmas or a wedding. Although one I have one I do want more, however I can control it, I'm not a crazy drunk. I have alcohol stored at home and don't have any desire to drink it, if that makes sense. I probably drank on 4 occasions in the past year.

I also like shopping too much (online) , but it's more justifiable stuff like things for the kids. It's not expensive designer stuff, but sometimes they don't need it. I did go overboard at Christmas. I did spend too much, I do have to pay off the credit card. So some stress there I suppose. We are always short on money so there is some pressure, but as the kids get older I can pick up more work.

Growing up were weren't wealthy, and my parents are quite controlling so it I analyse them I suppose it's a f@ck you now I'm doing what I want. But I'm 41, so it's not like I've just gained my freedoms!

The eating is a tricky one, like drinking, it's enjoyable at the time.

My DH works long hours and I'm home, pretty happy with the set up. Would be better if the toddler would sleep at a reasonable hour and not wake in the night, but hopefully soon once naps finish.

I will give the hypnosis a go, why not!

@UnicornsReal I do get out daily, walking schools runs and dog walks.