Advice: tomorrow I have to weigh myself for the first time in 20 years

[TikkyFlikky]

I am having a medical procedure that requires knowing my weight.
I haven't weighed myself for twenty years. (I grew up with two anorexic sister and me who was very chubby). I am dreading it. I am 100% certain I am at least a 40BMI, size 22. I recently lost around two sizes through exercise but unfortunately got an extremely painful injury preventing me from doing almost anything and the weight went back on.
Tomorrow I have to weigh myself, I'm already suffering from quite severe anxiety and borderline depression. I know I have to do this.
Please can anyone give me any tips for getting through it and living with myself?

Well, you know that you're not going to be 9 stone. You're not delusional.
You know your dress size so can hazard a pretty good guess I'm sure so it won't be a huge shock for you.
I know anxiety is horrendous but getting on the scales is not going to mean you implode.
You will feel and weigh the same as you weigh today and yesterday only difference is that you know the number.
Best of luck with the procedure OP.

The number displayed on the scales won't change anything. Knowing facts can be empowering, more than worrying about what you don't know! Best of luck

Be logical with yourself- you know it won’t be great (go higher on an estimate) but it’s your body and you can take this opportunity to re evaluate it for YOUR health. No one else, not family, doctors, partners. Just you.

If you don't want to know, then ask them not to tell you.

I have to weigh myself and send the info in, so I do have to know it.
Thanks, I'm finding everything so bloody awful and difficult right now and knowing this number is another awful reality check that makes me feel so utterly ashamed.

I feel for you, I get like this any time I think I've gained weight. This might sound a bit silly, but a practical tip: I switch the electric scales over to KG. I'm used to my weight being in stones and pounds so when I've gained weight the number gives me a emotional reaction, even in anticipation before I've even got on the scales. I don't have an instant frame of reference for Kg, it's more just a number and doesn't give the same shock upon seeing it. I can rationally work out what the number is, but it's not instant and it's not tied to my self esteem in the same way.

I recommend what Swearwolf suggested. I’ve also used that trick in the past when I was worried how I would react emotionally to the scales. Kgs don’t have the same effect on me as stones and lbs, and I don’t automatically compare it with previous weights as I don’t know them in kgs

Changing the scales to kgs (if you normally think in lbs) is a good idea. Otherwise do you have a friend or partner who would watch you weigh and write it down as the last thing on the form and then press send or seal the envelope for you? If you are weighing with your clothes on ask your friend to minus 2 lbs or 1 kg.

Don’t feel ashamed, your weight doesn’t define who you are. Best of luck with the medical procedure.

It sounds like you already know what the scales will say so you are under no delusions.

Weight is only weight, it is not a moral judgement

You can decide whether you want to change it if it's making you unhappy. But that's your thing, no-one else's.