Anyone struggling with binge eating and fancy a chat?

[ObeseWanKenobi]

I've not been officially diagnosed, but I have a history of binging in secret since the age of 13. I've been obese/morbidly obese my entire adult life and thought I had cracked it for a couple of years following a low carb diet, losing a lot of weight and almost being a healthy weight.

But after stalling on my weight loss I started counting calories, going to the extreme of only eating one meal a day which triggered the urge to binge. What started as maybe once every few weeks quickly turned into a few times every week, stuffing my face with crap basically until the point I'm so full my stomach hurts. I've gained just over a stone and I think I'm finally back in the right frame of mind to really tackle it. I tried to lose the extra weight quickly by going back to one meal a day, but I've figured out that this is triggering the urge to binge even more.

The last time I ate "off plan" was last Sunday. I have started listening to the Brain Over Binge podcast and am waiting for the book to be delivered and it all seems to make sense. I'm also reading a book called The Binge Code.

Today was the first day I have had the urge to binge and I'm proud to say I didn't succumb. It's been the first time I've been out for food in a restaurant and had the real temptation to order something that I wouldn't normally eat. If I had done that, it would have been the green light to eat whatever crap I could get my hands on all day, and no doubt that would have rolled over to tomorrow and probably the day after.

DP is a great support but he doesn't really struggle like I do. He can have something as an occasional treat and just carry on eating normally for the rest of the day, whereas if I have something "off plan" thats the whole day lost to binging.

I would love one day to be able to eat whatever I want in moderation, but for now I'm sticking to a LCHF way of eating as it cuts out all my "trigger foods". Instead I'm not focusing on calories, but on trying to up my good fats, eat when I'm hungry and eat foods that are nutritionally good for me. And I've decided for now that I am not setting a foot near the scales and will instead go by how I feel and how my clothes are fitting (they are tighter than usual which is how I initially knew I had put on weight, I was in denial before!) and if I can't get to my targer weight without having to drastically reduce my calories, I may as well accept my current weight as the target as I'm only just a smidge over a healthy BMI.

Can anyone else relate at all? Would love some company or just someone for a general chat 😊

I have struggled with disordered eating for over 30 years. I truly believe it stems from dieting/restricting food. I also believe the only way to be free is to let go of any restrictions and desire to lose weight- easier said than done but I’m working on it. Weight loss I think will be a natural byproduct of eating normally.
I currently just aim to eat when I’m hungry, stop when I’m full, get plenty of exercise. This is working for me so far.

It’s very important to try to love yourself as you are, again, easier said than done but remember there are so many worse things you could be other than fat. You clearly have a supportive husband who loves you as you are and I’ll bet there are many other positives in your life. Focus on that, you are more than what you weigh ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much Summersalt for your lovely words. DH is amazing, he did the low carb with me and lost 4 stone himself and is happily maintaining. And we have 2 amazing daughters who keep us on our toes

An

Funny you should mention the urge to binge stemming from restricting food and dieting as the chapter in the book I'm reading has just discussed this and how to go about incorporating the "forbidden foods" into your diet in a healthy and manageable way so that they don't trigger the feelings of guilt, anxiety and shame that might lead you to binge. This is what I hope to achieve, although honestly the thought of trying to slowly reintroduce foods thar I have not eaten for so long (except when binging) is terrifying as I still always seem to go to that "sod it I've messed up, I'll start again tomorrow!" way of thinking. My DD is learning a lot about healthy eating in school at the moment and is constantly asking "is this healthy? Is this good for me?" and I always say that no food is unhealthy, some just have more vitamins that others so its important to eat more of those foods and the foods that don't have as many vitamins are things you don't eat all the time.

My issues with food started when I was 11 and my mum (who has been bulimic since age 17) thought I was getting a bit too chubby and put me on a diet, refusing to buy me new clothes unless I had lost weight and could fit into the smaller size.

I wish she gad realised the lifetime of damage that would cause me but I'm determined I won't pass that on to my kids!

Bless you, that made me wince when you said your mum put you on a diet when you were 11. Obviously it wasn’t done maliciously and I think nowadays we are more aware of the damage this can do. For me I think it was more social pressures, I was a bigger frame than most friends and thin was the only acceptable size in the eighties when I was a teen. The thing is though, I was never fat. Worrying about being fat made me fat!

I struggle with binge eating too.
I am seriously contemplating asking my GP for help.