Supporting friend with weight loss

[Lealea1991]

Hi all. So I've been supporting my friend by going to slimming world with her every week. However the other thing is this is the only full day I have away from daughter who attends preschool this day. It goes on for an hour and a half. The first half is casual chat, cuppa and weigh in with everybody. I'm quite happy to stay with her for this bit but the second half is sitting down while clapping for everybody one by one for their weight loss. There's about 25 people in this group. I'm starting to find this bit very boring and forgive if I sound selfish but it takes a good 45 minutes and I'm wondering why I'm sat there on my free time from my child clapping for strangers. Would it be selfish of me to say to my friend I'm happy to stay for the casual chat, cuppa and weigh in but then look round the shops while she's sitting through the last bit of session? I literally only go to support her, but I feel I don't need to be sat there the whole of the session clapping for people I don't even know for 45 minutes. Forgive me if I'm selfish but it's boring, sorry. It's my only chance to look round the charity shops in peace on my own without my daughter.

I also forgot to mention that she's quite anxious and she'd probably stop going if I say I'll look round shops through the last half of session. So I feel pretty bound to sit in for whole thing. But I feel there should be some give and take there. I wouldnt think it fair on me to have that guilt of her stopping it, bit at end of day I don't need to lose weight and Ive been going with her for weeks now. I'm getting pretty sick of clapping for strangers for 45 minutes now. I should be allowed to do something for me too on my time away from my daughter. Once again forgive me if I'm being selfish

Are you on SW as well or literally just going to support her? Why does she need support? Does she have any particular needs? If it was just initial anxiety about going when she first started, presumably she is now established in the routine and knows other people there so will have them to sit next to & chat to.
When I did SW years ago, I only every stayed for the meeting once a month or so and never found them that helpful

I'm not on slimming world, just going to support her. She's just very anxious and finds it hard to talk to people so I find myself doing the legwork introducing her to people. She's very quiet and keeps to herself

She finds it more encouraging to go with me there aswell. But I just don't want to sit in on the last bit anymore

Why aren't you allowed to be selfish?l anyway? It's your one and only life, you'll never get this time back again.

You've helped her settle in, she should now be able to deal with it on her own.

I think it might be a bit weird if others in the group if you came and then vanished halfway through though!

Also the funny thing is I don't really know anyone there. I'm very anxious myself but just randomly talk to people. She said she wouldn't talk to anyone if I wasn't there. That's why I stay for the first half so it's not too much for her.

I see what you mean jugglingduty. They all know I'm just a friend though and not an actual member

I go to SW and even I find the whole structure of the meeting laborious!!

Without this sounding strange - do you also 'need' / want to lose weight?

Whilst you are a great friend for supporting her, you are also enabling her anxiety.

Maybe withdraw the time you spend there - gradually.

A structured, members only group all with one goal is surely a great place to start overcoming / dealing with her anxiety?

I don't need to lose weight. I'm 5 ft 10 and weigh 12:7. She's said to me in past she'd love to look like me but didn't have confidence to go to so I offered to go with her. But I see what you mean about enabling her anxiety, I'm probs not helping her to overcome by being next to her side the whole way through. So I think it is a good idea I tell her I'll only be there the first half then hopefully eventually she can do it all on her own