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'Bigger' women who are happy with their size

5 replies

RedheadBaba · 01/12/2007 20:59

Anyone out there who is happy with their size?

I'm anything from size 16/18 and have been on and off diets, including at time some very unhealthy habits, since I was 13 (am now 27).

Each new year I start a diet and lost 28lbs in 2006 but pretty much had to starve myself and exercised constantly. I've put all the weight back on.

My last health check showed me to be okay in terms of blood pressure, cholestoral(sp!) lung capacity etc. and I'm starting to think that it maybe better for me to stay one size and concentrate on making sure I get all the things I need then keep yo-yo'ing. Especially as DP and I plan to start TTC later next year.

The question is, is it possible to be 'at peace' with your body. Does this magical acceptance of your body really happen as you get to your 30's.

Any view or experience out there, really want to stop this cycle

Just taking DP into town so won't be able to answer any comments for half hour.

TIA

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laurliemonkey · 02/12/2007 05:36

i am size 14/16 on top, size 18 arse. and happy. it took me a long old time, but i found myself one day thinking 'am i really doing this diet for me, or am i doing for other people (in my case, my mum)'. i asked my dh (then db) if he honestly wanted me to change, he said 'i fancied you that way didn't i (and then mumbled something about boobs .

plus, you are obv medically tip-top. i found the 'fat girls guide to life' book really good for getting you to think, does this weight bother me, or other people, tis a wee bit american-positive thinking tho

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RedheadBaba · 02/12/2007 11:12

Thank laurlie (were you really up at 5:30 on a Sunday morning ).

I think my attitute has probably got something to do with my mother, lovely as she is, I don't think she has have come to terms with having a 5' 8 big build daughter when she is a petite 5'2 and was a size 8-10 all her life and has only go up to a size 12 since middle age spread has caught up.

It's turn isn't it, our parents screw us up, and I really actually get on with my mum

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NiftyNanny · 02/12/2007 14:31

Ooooh redhead, my Mum gave up smoking when I was a rather bulky 7 year old, and I think that might have had something to do with her neurotic fear of weight gain. My weight was an issue all my life, and I don't know whether the attention it got me to rebel and comfort eat more, or what. Anyway, needless to say I was always big - 5'5 and a shoe size 7 aged 10! And a good 11 stone....

My biggest was when I was about 15 years old, I hit a size 26 and was quite a miserable teen! I used to get beaten up, the whole deal, and as I got older I managed to diet it off until I ended up underweight in hospital suffering from anorexia. So - unhappy fat, unhappy thin.

These days I have managed to come to terms with the energy in / energy out concept - ie, my body needs calories to survive! I'm healthier than I've ever been in my life, perfect cholesterol and low blood pressure. I eat plenty of fruit and veg, allow myself the odd treat (OK, I have a sweet tooth, so it's more than the odd treat!) but I go to the gym and I'm fit. I have saggy skin that's left over from my teenage years, but everyone has things on their body they don't like. I'm not going to lie and say I don't ever have days where I get tearful because I feel fat, but I know what the cost to my health could be - I have a friend who was anorexic for many years, and is now a semi-invalid following 5 operations to remove sections of her lower intestine, reverse sections of intestine... God, it's horrific! She can't eat many foods as they don't digest, she has low energy, if she has a bad month her hair will fall out. It's NOT worth it.

So... I think, even if it's bloody hard work, and you have to go through a lot, yes, there is a point at which you can say you're happy. I'd much rather be my current size 16 (at 5'10 and actually big boned - I had an xray of my hip area once which had to be done left and right because I didn't fit on the one plate!) than any of my previous incarnations - at my smallest I was a size 10 on top and still a size 14 on the bottom with body fat sculling along at about 12% - healthy for a woman is 18% minimum.......

It still drives me crazy occasionally, yes. But honestly, if you're fit, then focus on your assets - the things that other people envy about you. It's not being self congratulatory in a bad way. It's celebrating yourself! I've got a Nigella waist which I'm grateful for, and I have tro believe it makes up for my saddle bags.

Hold your head up and marvel in your tall and curvy-ness - I've actually noticed that my partner is more vocally appreciative ("Mmm you feel NICE!) when I have that extra half stone on me. So, talk to him! I bet he has a completely different view of your body than you do..... and it matters a lot less to him than the fact you can share your lives, thoughts, friends, shopping trips, secret jokes.......
:D

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BroccoliSpears · 02/12/2007 14:58

Definitely.

I firmly believe I am gorgeous, flabby thighs, wobbly tummy, bulky arms and extra chin. Yes, I can slim to a size 10. Yes, everyone says I look great when I do. But it's bloody miserable not eating all the time, and I find it utterly utterly depressing that me being smaller seems to impress everyone. Hello? I have a personality and a character and beliefs and values and none of them are remotely affected by what I look like. I'm miserable and insecure when I'm slim.

I think my confidence is more attractive than a flat tummy, and I'm not terribly interested in impressing anyone who thinks the reverse (MIL - I'm talking to you!)

I truth is, I'd just rather have another biscuit than be slim, and anyone dieting for years and getting nowhere should admit the same to themselves and learn to love themselves.

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RedheadBaba · 02/12/2007 15:40

thanks all - it's really good to realise that there are people out there who are happy with themselves.

I need to work on a 'normal' diet as I seem to be either dieting and not eating or not dieting and eating everything in sight

It's something I want to deal with before we have children, expecially as DP is 6'3 and 16 stone so it's unlikely any child we have will be delicate .

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