My GP gently mentioned surgery as the next step

[WonderTheWhale]

I’ve struggled to lose weight, and need to shift 4 stone to reach the middle of the healthy BMI range. I’ve tried but even when I’m careful with food and do a lot of exercise I just can’t seem to shift it. My BMI is currently 33.

My GP has said maybe it is time to consider barbaric surgery as an option and said they could refer me, knowing I have genuinely tried other options.

It’s something I really worry about though, how does it fit in with an active job and two young children? I feel disheartened that this seems to be the way forward for me now.

I did think you had to be BMI over 40 but was told there are exceptions and my situation would probably be one of those.

Feeling sad but do want to be healthy and lose this 4 stone for good.

My goodness, 14st is nothing and if I'm honest you I think you need to find a more supportive and empathetic dr. I would feel the need to complain, I think their suggestion is outrageous .
I'm 19st and struggling to lose weight due to being on so much medication and could understand if it was suggested to the like of me. I'm week 1 of no steroids for the guest in two years and hoping my weight will drop 🤞🏻🤞🏻
Be proud of your achievements and what your body is capable of doing. A half marathon is a huge achievement. Love yourself and get a new dr. F* them and their ridiculous suggestion.

@peachcherries

My goodness, 14st is nothing and if I'm honest you I think you need to find a more supportive and empathetic dr. I would feel the need to complain, I think their suggestion is outrageous . I'm 19st and struggling to lose weight due to being on so much medication and could understand if it was suggested to the like of me. I'm week 1 of no steroids for the guest in two years and hoping my weight will drop 🤞🏻🤞🏻 Be proud of your achievements and what your body is capable of doing. A half marathon is a huge achievement. Love yourself and get a new dr. F* them and their ridiculous suggestion.

It’s not nothing when she already has type 2 diabetes. Then it’s life threatening. It’s also obese for the vast majority of women. The problem isn’t the doctor suggesting weight loss because that’s a given. The OP has to lose weight for her health. The issue is that perhaps gastric surgery is too drastic at this stage if there is a chance of losing it naturally. On the other hand, if the OP has tried everything (including low carb, which I was going to suggest), then maybe surgery is more realistic. It’s totally up to the OP how she proceeds but the one certainty is that staying 14 stone is not an option for her given the impact on her health.

That’s hard op. What do you suspect is the real reason you overeat (asides unhealthy food choices)?

I am not superior @flatdisco. Nor am I ableist.

My dad is dyslexic, disabled and I care for him. My mother has dementia. I care for her. My sibling has a life limiting condition with chronic constant pain. Yes, I am involved in their care.

How would you know this? You won’t.

You also do not know my occupation.

But you were the one who asked what I based my advice on. You didn’t have to comment. Yet you did in a snippy way. That is nothing to do with any condition.

But don’t you dare call me ableist or superior or suggest I feel happy with ‘validating’ myself. You don’t walk in my shoes.

If you have a problem with my post report it.

And ‘you might wanna check yourself’ makes you sound as though you think you are superior to me.

Put simply? No one is better than anyone else in this world. We all have our successes. We all have our crosses to bear. Some more than others.

I will leave this thread now because I don’t want to derail OP’s thread.

All the best going forward OP. I wish you well.

I'll put my hard hat on before I say it and no doubt everyone will be very rude to me in response. I have lost 3.5 stone since February using Noom. I have lost this 3.5 stone 4 times in the last 15 years but this time I really do feel equipped to keep it off. I sympathise with you OP because I will retire next year and have been thinking about how the excess weight might impact quite seriously on my health. It is no more expensive than weightwatchers and if you are prepared to do the reading and "lessons" weigh in everyday and record everything you eat it works. You also have a support group and two coaches. Whenever I mention Noom people say you could do it all yourself with a book, myFitness Pal etc. etc. but I didn't and most other people don't.

Have you had a referral to a dietician? It's frustrating that a GP can suggest invasive surgery without helping you get some insight into why you eat how and what you do. I've no experience of noom but like the above, have seen positive feedback.

Even with comorbidities, surgery (and the potential complications) at 14st is a drastic option.

Hi OP - just wanted to say that Semaglutide/ozempic is accepted in a lot of European countries now as well so only a matter of time before it becomes a bit more mainstream here too. It certainly wouldn't hurt to ask your doctor about it.

Additionally, I'd try and get a second opinion perhaps? Bariatric surgery is a big deal and I get the impression it will attack your symptom and not root cause so wouldn't stop you from regaining the weight afterwards?

@Flatdisco what a load of tripe. someone correcting another's spelling doesn't automatically mean they think they're superior to someone dyslexic. if they'd done it with the knowledge of the other person being dyslexic - then perhaps.

Thank you all for your kind words and opinions.

Those who have lost weight, in any way, I really admire and I’m in awe of you. I genuinely try. My weight is consistent so I don’t really gain, I fluctuate by about 4lbs up and down but no matter how good, or bad, I am where my body wants to be. But it’s not where I want to be or need to be for my health.

Surgery would be my last choice but my GP is presenting it as one and I do respect her. She also knows how hard I have tried!

I have blood tests this week and then will go in to discuss results, and options.

@Flatdisco

What is going on?

This is a stressful time for OP, and a big decision. It's a hard conversation to have.

The poster who made a little joke about the type was just trying to add some levity. She wasnt nasty. She didnt come barging in and correct it in a mean or patronising way. She made a little joke about a (kind of funny) autocorrect.

When a discussion is serious, and an opportunity for a little humour pops up, a lot of people with a sense of humour and a relaxed attitude will make a little joke, and then move on to the actual topic. Which is what the other poster did.

You must go through life searching out things to be offended by. Isnt that exhausting?

@GCAutist

I discovered an account on Instagram the other day Fatdoctoruk which was like a revelation to me. I really recommend you having a look at it (think they’re on Facebook too) - it opened my eyes to the ways in which weight is used as a tool against you by the medical profession often unnecessarily.

A BMI of 33 is unlikely to see you be accepted for bariatric surgery even in a private setting.

OP, please stay away from shit like that page.

I've read so many diet books this year I've forgotten where I read it, possibly "Why we eat (too much)" by Dr Andrew Jenkinson who is a bariatric consultant. He acknowledges some people just can't lose weight by dieting - especially if they have repeatedly lost/gained weight in the past. He does give diet/lifestyle advice but is realistic about the limitations.

Anyway you might find it interesting reading.

Good luck, OP. I agree your physical prowess is something to be proud of . I also agree about getting some specialist diet advice if you can, and from someone who knows how much you exercise (and understands what that means - I think there can be a tendency not to listen to middle aged women so being very specific helps - I lift my own bodyweight/run x miles a week or whatever) - sometimes small but precise tweaks can make a difference?

[quote TheWoleb]@Flatdisco

What is going on?

This is a stressful time for OP, and a big decision. It's a hard conversation to have.

The poster who made a little joke about the type was just trying to add some levity. She wasnt nasty. She didnt come barging in and correct it in a mean or patronising way. She made a little joke about a (kind of funny) autocorrect.

When a discussion is serious, and an opportunity for a little humour pops up, a lot of people with a sense of humour and a relaxed attitude will make a little joke, and then move on to the actual topic. Which is what the other poster did.

You must go through life searching out things to be offended by. Isnt that exhausting?[/quote]
Well it's easy for you to say mocking a disability isn't nasty. Are all the harmless jokes about race and sexuality not nasty? Who gets to decide this?

It's always the thing thrown at people who call out unacceptable 'jokes' that the person who sees it as unacceptable is looking to be offended and has no sense of humour. There's no arguing with you. You want to be bigoted and make fun of people. U can't fix unpleasant people like this. As you don't see a problem. That's a pit for you.

@Flatdisco

But it wasnt mocking a disability.

Bariatric changed to barbaric is very very clearly an autocorrect.
We all know the OP did not think it was called or spelled barbaric surgery. That was her phone correcting something she typed. Last time I checked, autocorrect was not a disability. But funny autocorrects like that provide a little bit of levity during a stressful conversation.

You need to grow up a little bit.

For what it’s worth I found the barbaric autocorrect and consequent pick up on it quite funny.

I'd get a proper body composition analysis & get a good idea about how much you do need to lose, as with being more muscular, it might be less than for a sedentary person.

I'd also see if your local dietitians are running any courses. Just done one, very good.

The other thing I'd allow for is that it can take some people a very long time to lose weight & require a huge amount of compliance. It's taken me years to get my head around what I need to eat & lso how little. I have set-points too & dropping weight to another where I'm comfortable is hard work.

The reason I would be wary of surgery in your case, is that I would worry you won't be able to fuel your activities effectively.

I think you need to prioritise controlling the diabetes effectively tho, so lower-carb, etc with rock solid compliance. I have no willpower, so I can only do this by not having anything that's not ok for me in the house. Also have a look at the research on different foods spiking blood sugar for different people, depending on their gut.

Wow I've never seen such a reaction to an autocorrect!

OP no one here is your doctor - they've said what they've said for a reason so maybe it's worth waiting down ALL the questions and go through them all with GP including why they thing this is your best option.

Also please ignore the recommendations to get your medical info from Instagram pages. A lot of it is rubbish and Instagram does not know more than your actual doctor. I actually find it so irresponsible when posters suggest you don't need your doctor all you need is an Instagram page ffs