Really struggling ☹️

[mumof1littlebun]

I had my second child 14 months ago and have put on over two stone since he was born. I just cannot stop eating chocolate etc. He doesn’t sleep brilliantly so I’m always tired and it feels like something nice to eat makes me feel better, until it doesn’t! I need to lose about 4 stone and weigh the most I ever have but can’t find the motivation to do it even though I hate how I look/feel

No one can give you motivation op I’m afraid, that has to come from within. Until you’re in that mindset that you want to loose the weight more than you want to eat crap then nothing will change. It’s made harder by lack of sleep

Low carb removes cravings for chocolate etc for me, but again, unless you are in that mindset, where loosing weight is more important to you it’s not going to work, I’m sorry 💐

Thanks for the reply and you are right. I just don’t have the motivation even though I hate how I look/feel, it’s ridiculous really ☹️

It's really difficult when your tired. My body craves sugar/food when I'm tired.
Maybe try focusing on smaller changes like making sure you eat a filling 'proper' breakfast or making sure you walk every day.
Often little changes lead on to bigger changes.
Good luck!

We’ve all been there op. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. At some point you will either get the motivation or you’ll accept your size.

For me it was having to get back into work suits.

You can try a favourite piece of clothing you’d like to wear again, make it your target clothing. Start to also incorporate some light exercise in, maybe a walk, whatever is feasible. Try to get some me time if possible.

Exercise can make us feel better about ourselves, it removes that lethargy and enhances our mood. It bizarrely can make us feel less tired.

Feeling shit about yourself isn’t going to help though, so you need to stop that. Maybe stop having chocolate in the house if possible. If it’s not there, you can’t eat it,

It’s so difficult, just to say I’m where you are. DC2 is 15 months old and still up 2-3/night. Lockdown was not as conducive to losing baby weight as after DC1 (no walking every day as DC1’s nursery was closed, no walking to baby groups and to meet antenatal friends, the darkness of lockdown2 in the Winter, I ate a LOT of chocolate to get through the day). I had bad plantar fasciitis from pregnancy and subsequently a foot injury so walking was painful and running was out of the window. It’s taken over a year just to lose 2 stone.

I was 39 in April and I’m determined not to be fat and 40. I was struggling to stick to any diets so have decided to take a different approach and do the Bodycoach app. The weight loss is pretty slow but it’s coming and my body shape/fitness has changed a lot. I’m really enjoying getting fitter and stronger and the exercise helps with the sleep deprivation. I could do better with the diet but it’s just too much for now and and I’m still eating better not binging chocolate anymore.

I’m also hoping when I can stop BF/she starts sleeping through it will give my body a bit of a boost to lose more quickly.

Hang in there.

I agree about starting small. At the moment 4 stone seems overwhelming, so it makes you want to give up before you have started. Aim for a 1 stone loss over the next few months.

Maybe try committing having a healthy breakfast every day for 2 weeks, whether that is porridge or eggs. Something substantial that will help you stay full. Then in a few weeks, when that becomes a habit, try switching out something else, like instead of a sweet drink, have green tea with lemon. Or stop snacking after 8pm. Or something. Just think of it as a domino effect of building good habits that you will get used to.

Also, while it's still summer and the weather is good, commit to getting out for a walk every day, for 20 - 30 minutes. Then increase the time/ speed after a while.

Unfortunately, it's one of those things that you have to decide to do, and put the work in. And nobody else can do it for you (annoyingly). Also, one of the hardest things for people is if they have a bad day or week, they just give up completely and go back to how they are before. It's a bit of self sabotage. So you have to push through the bad days, which I know is really hard when you are exhausted!

Also, don't beat yourself up and shame yourself for messing up once in a while. The real key to weight loss is consistency over time. There isn't really a quick fix unless you have surgery, and that has it's own problems. So you need to find something that works for you and stay consistent with it, that doesn't mean it has to be perfect all the time. Perfection isn't realistic, but eating well 80% of the time, being active consistently will give you results if you stick to it.

It's easy to think, oh I will go on a crazy crash diet and lose it all really quickly. But then you don't form the good habits that will keep the weight off in the long term. Think of it as changing your lifestyle, which will take time and effort. But you are worth the effort. And you want to model healthy behaviour to your child.

In a year's time, don't you want to be in a better place than you are now? It may take that long and more to get the results you want, but that time is going to pass anyway, so think of it as doing something positive with the time you have.

Sorry that was really long but hopefully it's helpful.

I had to go cold turkey with chocolate and sweets. Having a limited amount did nothing for my cravings and I think made them worse. After 2 weeks my cravings had subsided and now 6 weeks in (and a stone lighter) I don't think of chocolate at all. In fact, my son bought me a box and only for the fact they were off him I'd have given them away. I've still got a lot to lose, but I genuinely think cracking sugar cravings is the way to go (for me). I've even given up white bread as that sends me spiralling too.

Thank you so much for all the lovely replies. They are so helpful and I suppose, yes, I need to make small changes to my lifestyle. I used to be really healthy and two children later and being knackered it’s all gone to pot!

@Allthesefolks you sound just like me with not sleeping though, breast fed baby! He has actually stopped wanting feeding through the night the past few nights but I’d full of cold so has been up with that instead 😫 I’m hoping he is weaning himself off because I think I’m about done with feeding now! I might have a look at the body coach app.

@WheresMyTweezers I think that’s what I need to do, go cold turkey. I’m so all of nothing at the minute and stupidly think I’ve ruined things if I’ve eaten something ‘bad.’ I think it’s because my diet is so terrible I feel I have to cut things out and I’ve eaten more than enough chocolate etc in the last year!

Hi,

I’m in a very similar position - 2nd baby is 15 months. Have weaned off the boob recently which I thought would help but I’m not at all happy with my body. I’ve got a friend’s wedding and catch up with friends soon and cannot find anything that fits! As well as being overweight I feel like the shape of my body has changed so much.

I have recently completed Couch to 5k and am persevering with running. But have also decided to cut out all chocolate, biscuits, cake etc. I’m starting with not buying myself any treats when I’m out. Worse time for me is when I’m home with my 2 little ones and it’s been a loooong day and I need a pick me up!

Good to know there are others in a similar situation!

@S12M I feel you with the long day with two
then needing a pick me up! It doesn’t last though does it, at least not with me I just end up feeling sluggish and more tired! If you don’t mind can I ask how you weaned?!

Hey ! If you really want to lose weight I would highly suggest Keto diet , it’s brilliant ! It’s low carb high fat diet , ofcourse I mean healthy fats like meats and cheese . I lost 10kg in 2 and half months . This diet is a real body changer . Please look into it on YouTube or google and see what you think about it . The keto diet is amazing because you can eat fully fat healthy foods and you feel so full all day without wanting to snack . And you don’t starve at all . And if you throw bit of excercise in the mix then it’s even better ! Keto diet is the only way to lose weight in my opinion as iv tried all the other diets and didn’t help . In Keto diet you don’t eat carbs like pasta rice bread ect so your body will use your own body fat for energy because it doesn’t have carbs to use for energy , and for snacks you can eat strawberry’s and blueberry and nuts , good luck lovely !

@mumof1littlebun I weaned slowly over a couple of months. Started dropping day feeds as LO was eating well. He started sleeping the night at 13 months so was easier to drop the night feeds then stopped the bedtime feed last. I did something similar with my first baby and always surprised how easily they took the change!

Don’t wait for motivation, you just have to get after it. Motivation comes later when you start seeing or feeling the results.

I wouldn’t even focus on the chocolate, it’s not the real issue. It’s likely a symptom of both bad food choices at mealtimes leaving you hungry or low on energy, plus a go-to comfort when you are overwhelmed with your baby. Let yourself have it but as you get the rest of your diet on a more even keel you will want/need it less.

What does a typical day’s food look like for you, including all snacks and drinks? Sometimes small changes can dramatically reduce calories without you even noticing, as can increasing protein and fats so that you aren’t running on mostly carbs/sugar.

What about general activity/exercise? Are you getting any at all?