Where the hell do I start losing weight?

[Dontwatchfootball]

I am at my wits end. Since perimenopause and caring for aging parents I have steadily been gaining weight for the last 10 years. Now up 7 stone. I was always active before then, and although never slim was about a 12 - 14. Now up to a size 20 and dont seem to be able to sustain any weight loss. Tried Slimming World and did ok for a while but was troubled by the amount of diet/ready food suggested because I was reading about the dangers of processed food. But I struggled to cook from scratch every day due to caring responsibilities. Since then tried Keto, Cambridge and eating mindfully. And then I fall off the wagon and gain more weight. I am beside myself, asked the doc for help but am just outside the age limit for referral to the local dietician. I feel so desperate, I am so physically uncomfortable and tired at this weight. But when I start to think about what I should do I go into a complete meltdown and end up not making any changes. I feel so useless. Any advice on how you got started gratefully received.

Could you maybe focus on fibre instead of reducing any type of macros, think about increasing fibre.

By doing this, you will naturally reduced processed food and move towards whole food.
Cooking from scratch doesn't have to be complicated. Yes it takes time, but think soups - from the classic vegetables soups to dhals or greek chicken soups = for the evenings, and have containers in the fridge with sliced cucumber, cooked green beans, shredded cabbage, and so for lunch, you make a salad base and then add tuna, boiled eggs, chickpeas, ... Breakfast could be rolled oats with flaxseed and some raspberries or papaya, ...

More than "dieting" , think about changing lifestyle.
It will take a bit of time, but your health and feelings deserve some time and attention

Thank you @TheAussieProject. Its a good idea to shift focus.

I lost 20 Kg a pound or so a week.

Just by focussing on healthier eating, cutting it constant snacking and taking care over portion control. Same meals but less pasta, rice, and hold the garlic bread.

I also had plenty of treats and a good few mad ‘eat the whole box’ moments but it is the overall trajectory that counts.

Once you begin to get a bit of a result, that becomes your motivation.

I wasn’t on any diet, didn’t tell anyone I was doing it so no comments etc.

Until people started to say ‘have you lost weight?’.

@MarianneUnfaithful - Spot on!

@Dontwatchfootball - I know how you feel, been like that myself for years. 8 weeks ago I said enough is enough, I have to be strict with myself and do something before it's too late. It's horrible seeing other people do so many things that I can't simply because I am too overweight.

So, at 18st 4lbs, I joined SW, but to be honest I took some of their advice, and tips from other diets. As @MarianneUnfaithful says, change your lifestyle, cut out snacking etc, watch the portions. It takes a little time to adjust, but you will get there. Every pound you lose will motivate you to keep going. In time, you will slim down, and be able to do more things as you get lighter, making you a happier person etc.

All told, I have lost 25lbs in 8 weeks and I feel like a different person. I still have 59lbs to go, but it's well worth it.

Your post on here asking for advice is the first step of your journey, pat yourself on the back for doing that!

@StanleyOscar - that is amazing - good for you! Thanks for the tips!

Get MFP and a Fitbit, track calories in v calories out.

It's the only simple way.

Hi,
You can do slimming world without processed foods - stick to the healthy extras, lean meat/fish, vegetables, fruit and be vigilant about snacks. You don't have to do "fakeaways with Mayflower curry" or crap made out of Smash or drizzle skinny syrup on everything - despite what the Instagram accounts.

Personally I'm just doing a very basic "eat less". I'm having light breakfast/lunches, same evening meal as the rest of the family, hardly any alcohol (definitely no beer/wine), no white bread and hardly any snacks - unless I've had a particularly light day. If I'm peckish through the day I have a drink of water and/or some fruit. I've lost a stone in just over a month but have a long way to go.

The way I'm doing it isn't anything magical, it's probably a bit boring but it's easy and flexible - I can still go out for meals, but I average it out the next day with light meals (soup/scrambled egg etc).

One thing I can promise you...if you can make a commitment for 2 weeks, you'll break habits. The first two weeks is by far the hardest. Crack that and you're on your way - you can do that can't you, just a two week commitment to start off? You've done the hard but by weighing yourself!

Decide on a few basic, doable rules, stick to them and try not to give the whole thing too much headspace. I'm a big believer in habits rather than goals. Pick things you know will help, and just keep doing them until tyey become a habit. Slow, steady, sustainable weight loss. No extreme plans, no 'syns', no counting calories, no giving up whole food groups!

The No S diet is a good example of the above - 1) No sweet stuff 2) No snacking between meals and 3) No seconds ... except on days beginning with an 's'. I'm doing that, plus drinking more water and trying to eat as little processed food as possible. I don't weigh myself, but my clothes feel looser already.

I wanted to recommend two books which are not diet books, which do not embrace one diet religion or war (the well known low carb vs low fat vs low cal vs low this and that) .
The first one is "Food rules" an eater's manual by Michael Pollan and the second is Bee Wilson's "this is not a diet book" ,

@Dontwatchfootball I think you will benefit from some peace and kindness in your eating. And both write beautifully, so it is an added bonus.

I lost around 30kg after DC2 and a few things that really helped me (and didn’t make it feel like I was on a ‘diet’ as such):

• Intermittent fasting. The first few days were tough but then it was fine and for me, the discipline around it worked well
• Portion control. Sounds silly but once I started weighing out my breakfast cereal etc, I realised how much I had been over eating
• Don’t ban anything! If I want a biscuit, I have a biscuit. But I now have one, rather than 3 (or 7)
• Eat more protein!
• Plan ahead! I keep things like cubes of cheese and hard boiled eggs in the fridge so I always have a snack or the base for a salad to hand
• Tell yourself you are worth it! I had a really bad habit of picking at my kids’ soggy leftovers until I realised I’m not a bin, why am I eating gross food?!

Best of luck, getting started is always the hardest part but once you start to see and feel some progress, it will really motivate you to keep going