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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

What am I doing wrong!?

43 replies

dancingbroccoli · 16/07/2021 12:16

Hi all, I am after some advice. I put on 4+ stone during pregnancy and I can't shift the weight at all. I still look like I did when I was 6 months pregnant. My DD is 7 months so I know it hasn't been ages but I thought I would be seeing a little bit of results by now and find it really disheartening that the scales and tape aren't changing :(

I am doing HIIT 2-3 times a week (random ones on YouTube) and take my dogs on a country walk an hour every day. I am not exclusively eating salads by any means but I'd say I'm eating quite healthy - much better than it's ever been

A random day would look like -
Breakfast: 3-4 scrambled eggs (cooked in teaspoon of butter) at the weekend, 2 slices of butter toast during the week
Lunch: usually skip but occasionally will have a croissant if there's some in the house
Dinner: changes a lot but usually along the lines of chilli jacket potato or Bolognese or risotto

I don't snack except at the weekends I'll have some biscuits with a tea and maybe some chocolate and a dessert on Sunday

Please help!!! I'm not sure if it's a case of upping the exercise or doing a different kind

OP posts:
Graphista · 16/07/2021 16:30

Men have greater muscle mass so are able to burn calories more easily as this translates to a higher metabolism - guessing he's taller than you too?

If you low carb watch for the nutrient loss too, I'm not personally a fan of low carb I think a balanced diet is healthier but it's possible you're having a lot of carbs from what you've posted which is also not good. But as I say if you do cut down a lot make sure you're getting the nutrients you're losing from elsewhere and that when you do have carbs you're having other foods alongside that carbs help you absorb the nutrients.

Aiming for your 5 a day can be an easy quick way of increasing nutrition but lowering cals. Even we veggies can sometimes struggle with this.

But eg -

Fruit or small fruit juice with breakfast = 1 portion

Salad or soup with lunch plus a piece of fruit = 2 portions maybe even 3 with soup

Salad or soup starter with dinner, half your main meal made up of veg = 2-3 portions

Base your meals on veg rather than carbs or even protein, we don't need loads of protein.

Also consider if you may be anaemic (very common in new mums) and bump up your iron rich foods BUT have these with vit c rich foods or a small juice for optimum absorption.

Drinking plenty helps with energy levels especially if it's as warm and muggy where you are as it is for me! I'm terrible for not drinking enough I've set a ton of reminders on my calendar every hour saying just "drink!" Which is helping a bit.

I live alone, it's tricky when you're cooking for 2 I think. My dd has a high metabolism due to her disability, when she still lived at home and I was trying to lose weight I'd do it that she had twice as much as me. You could perhaps do similar? Is he actually a healthy weight? If so then of course he needs to maintain that but if he isn't and also wants to lose weight it would be good for you to have the support and for you both to eat more healthily.

Bluntness100 · 16/07/2021 16:46

I'm not personally a fan of low carb I think a balanced diet is healthier

I need to comment here as this is a silly statement, my diet is a balanced, I don’t need to eat bread pasta, potatoes rice and biscuits/cakes/chocolate to balance it. The only difference between my menu and yours is you have a lot of fruit which has sugar, I don’t consume fruit, and don’t when I’m eating carbs,

However everything has carbs, even cucumber. There is nothing unbalanced about this sample menu

Full fat Greek yoghurt with low carb granola, flaked almonds, coconut shavings

Tuna salad, with avocado, onion, lettuce, tomato, cucumber and Mayo

Lamb steaks with cauliflower, broccoli, and mushrooms, or other non root veg.

It’s perfectly healthy. I don’t need to add fruit, or bread to make it balanced. Please don’t make comments when you’ve no clue about low carb.

Worldgonecrazy · 16/07/2021 16:55

It’s not really low carb anyway. It’s low “easy carbs”, ie your body has to work to extract the carbs. So granary sourdough is low “easy carb”, Warburtons white isn’t. Wild rice is low “easy carb”. Uncle Bens microwave white fluffy rice isn’t.

wetpants · 16/07/2021 17:16

@Bluntness100 I couldn’t agree more!! So many stupid misconceptions about low carb diet. No-one ever whines about balanced diet when someone states they are vegans or have a food intolerance.

Glass of OJ isn’t healthy as it’s marketed at. It’ll turn into pure sugar once consumed and subsequently into fat around your liver. All the baked goods too will be detrimental.

TheFoundations · 16/07/2021 17:22

How are you aside from your weight, OP? Are you lively and happy and clear skinned and sleeping well and periods fine and healthy digestive system etc? You know, like, if you were an animal, would you be in good condition? Is your coat shiny? Smile

TheFoundations · 16/07/2021 17:27

@Worldgonecrazy

It’s not really low carb anyway. It’s low “easy carbs”, ie your body has to work to extract the carbs. So granary sourdough is low “easy carb”, Warburtons white isn’t. Wild rice is low “easy carb”. Uncle Bens microwave white fluffy rice isn’t.
All the carbs are generally low on nutrients, and we can only really use them for energy to move around, rather than muscle growth/repair/vitamins and minerals/fueling the systems (ie immune/endocrine/reproductive etc)

If you're getting the right number of calories, the lower the carbs, the higher the nourishment. Some carbs are better than others, but unless you're active enough to burn off your carb calories with movement, you'll potentially be gaining fat whilst being malnourished.

TheFoundations · 16/07/2021 17:30

I'm not personally a fan of low carb I think a balanced diet is healthier

The diet has to be balance to the person's requirements, though. The 'balanced' diet we're recommended by the NHS is a diet for somebody who is healthy and wants to stay that way. It still has way more carbs than it should, but even if you were sticking to the NHS guidance, you're following a maintenance plan. A 'maintain the fat you have' plan. If you want to lose weight, it won't be balanced for you.

AnagramSam · 16/07/2021 17:56

I haven’t read all the comments, so sorry if this has already been brought up.
I struggled initially with weight loss after my LO was born. What worked for me was cutting down on carbs, as I have seen suggested in previous comments, but also reducing my eating window. Called 16:8 I think, or intermittent fasting. It just happened for me naturally, and I didn’t realise until I was losing weight with relatively little effort!
I get up around 6/6.30 and don’t eat breakfast until 9am, would always have a homemade soup for lunch instead of my usual sandwich, then I’d eat dinner with my LO at 5.30pm and not snack afterwards.
I get it doesn’t work for everyone, but it was amazing for me. Slow and steady loss and it stopped me obsessing over food and calories.

dancingbroccoli · 16/07/2021 17:58

Yes my partner is a foot taller than me, he's a healthy weight, plays football, runs etc so a lot fitter than me in comparison. He does want to eat healthier so I'm hoping that'll help make the switch for both of us together.

I did have anaemia during pregnancy and ended up needing a few infusions and I think it's almost back to normal now. It's what started my obsession with orange juice taking the tablets with it😅

The question is my coat shiny has really made me giggle🤣 I suffer anxiety so sleep has always been rubbish which means I'm constantly exhausted. Periods are regular but sometimes I'll randomly miss one completely and then the next month it'll be like nothings happened. Always very painful but apparently not enough for a GP appointment!!

Is Greek yoghurt ok for breakfasts? I used to have this with frozen fruit and I'm sure I remember it being more calories than my toast unless I've muddled the numbers

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 16/07/2021 18:37

The question is my coat shiny has really made me giggle🤣 I suffer anxiety so sleep has always been rubbish which means I'm constantly exhausted. Periods are regular but sometimes I'll randomly miss one completely and then the next month it'll be like nothings happened. Always very painful but apparently not enough for a GP appointment

OK. Regulation of anxiety/sleep/hormones/pain/everything (homeostasis in general) is fueled by nourishment. If you're not getting enough nourishment, your body can choose a variety of ways to deal with the deficit. One of them is to use your body fat, another is to skimp a bit on 'none essential services'... so.. nobody dies if you're short on sleep, right? You're just not at your optimum. And nobody dies if your hormones are a bit out of whack (not yet, anyway...), you just feel a bit crap, and are a bit 'low functioning'.

The last thing our bodies want to do is to give up stored fat. We need to stop seeing it as an unpleasant side effect of being well fed, and see it for what it is. It's an amazing evolutionary trick, which allows us to save today's Mars bars, so that we can use them when there's no food. It's fantastic, and it's there to be used.

Your body is so unwilling to give up its fat, that it's willing to scrimp on other functions. So you're anxious and don't sleep well and you're knackered. The answer isn't in eating less calories, it's about eating in a way that will make your body willing to release and use its fat.

Insulin is the fat storage hormone. If you imagine your fat is in a jam jar, insulin release screws the lid on. Your body will use its carb stores first, before accessing its fat. Carbs cause insulin release. There are ways to cut back that insulin release in your body. One is to fast. To go past the 'hangry' stage without eating. 'Hangry' is your body screaming 'GET ME SOME CARBS OR I'LL HAVE TO START SPENDING THE SAVINGS ACCOUNT OF FAT!!!!' Fasting is you gritting your teeth and saying 'Go on, then, use the fat!'

The other way is to drop your carbs, either every meal or just eat carbs once in a day, so that your body is always thinking 'Seriously? You're not giving me any sugar? I'm using the fat RIGHT NOW, is that REALLY what you want??'

And it is what you want. Your mind and your body want opposite things. Your body has evolved to want a great big savings account with loads of resources, and to keep it for ever and ever, just in case. You want no savings account at all, because you know resources are plentiful.

Danikm151 · 16/07/2021 18:42

May sound bizarre but maybe you aren’t eating enough. Especially skipping lunch.
Your body needs fuel to burn the calories so if you aren’t eating enough(right foods not junk) then it will retain what it has to keep energy going.
When I was actually sticking to being healthy and losing weight I found the weeks I ate more the better my results were on the scales.
It’s ok to have some snacks(fruit not chocolate unfortunately 😂) otherwise your body will be extra hungry at dinner time and you’ll over eat to compensate.

Graphista · 16/07/2021 19:23

@bluntness there are nutrients in carb based foods that aren't in others or are harder for the body to access. We need a wide variety of foods to get all the nutrients we need and also to eat certain foods together as they work together for nutrient absorption.

I'm not a diet expert but I am an ex nurse so know something about nutrition.

Lots of people jump onto diets that eliminate or massively cut down on certain food groups without understanding that they need to replace what they're cutting out nutritionally speaking preferably with foods but at the very least with supplements.

@Worldgonecrazy I agree there's a difference between certain processed carbs that are healthier or less healthy.

Those on low carb diets if not properly balanced can miss out on b complex and e vitamins, need to be aware to up their vit c rich foods and it can also impact vitamin d production.

I wasn't saying a low carb diet is a terrible idea, just that it needs to be approached informatively and with awareness of these issues.

Just as cutting out/right down on any food group can impact nutrition.

@TheFoundations of course. But I do feel that to lose weight healthily it's best to cut down generally rather than focus on one food group.

The current ideology is "carbs bad" I'm old enough to remember the last time this was the thinking. Then it was fat was the demon and people cut almost all fat out of their diets and were missing out on necessary fatty acids like omega 3 and 6. There was the demonising of perfectly healthy foods like eggs because they were thought to be unhealthy due to high cholesterol.

The thinking tends to go in cycles much like fashion.

We need all food groups. I agree lots of carbs isn't healthy either but then too much of any food - even healthy ones like salad veg - can be bad for you in different ways.

@dancingbroccoli oh he's quite a bit taller isn't he! And very active too. That will make quite a difference to his calorie needs compared to yours. As I said earlier I think it's quite difficult to balance your different needs.

Totally get where you're coming from on the anaemia/oj but you don't need loads of juice and fresh fruit is generally better than juice anyway.

Sleep has a significant impact on staying a healthy weight. Not only because if you don't sleep much you're awake more to be able to eat, but impacts metabolism etc too. As a long term insomniac myself I know how hard that is to address especially with a young baby. It's tough. Try not to be too hard on yourself, you and your body are dealing with a lot just now

TheFoundations · 16/07/2021 19:40

@Graphista

I didn't say carbs are bad. If you're getting all the right nutrients in the right quantities from your protein and fat (and this should be the focus), you can fill up the rest with carbs. There are essential fats and essential proteins. There are no essential carbs.

Things do go in cycles but eating carbs causes an instant insulin release which many of us never come down from, even when we are desperately cutting back our calories. Understanding that carb consumption = fat storage isn't something that you can agree or disagree with. It's just what the body does.

We need all food groups. I agree lots of carbs isn't healthy either but then too much of any food - even healthy ones like salad veg - can be bad for you in different ways

We do not need carbs. We can make everything we want from fat and protein. It's easier for the body to use carbs for physical energy, but without them, we just make our own glucose. Which is harder for the body. And bodies that work hard lose weight.

Carbs can't be used for anything but movement. So, if we're not moving much (aka our society - not out working in the fields all day) they just get stored as fat. And we can continue with that process even as we starve of essential nutrients.

It's not about carbs good/carbs bad; it's about recognising which foods provide which services to the body, and balancing them correctly, which our recommended diet doesn't do.

Graphista · 16/07/2021 20:10

In can assure you we do need carbs - not just for energy but for bodily functions like digestion, muscle maintenance, control cholesterol levels etc - and I'm the one being called ill informed! Geez!

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/carbohydrates/art-20045705

TheFoundations · 16/07/2021 20:50

You are ill informed, @Graphista.

We need glucose. Glucose is essential. We would die without glucose.

But we can make it, out of fat, via a process called gluconeogenesis.

Here's carbohydrate 101, to inform you better. 1:40 - 4:20 is the bit you need.

Carbs not essential, according to Panel on Macronutrients (www.nap.edu/initiative/panel-on-macronutrients) and FDA.

Studies that inform NHS/dieticians/nutritionists etc are skewed because they are funded by companies which produce and want to sell carbohydrates. Recommendations are plucked from thin air, like 5 a day, for example. There's no foundation for that at all. It's completely made up.

But anyway, it's not the issue, is it, how we can manage to survive if deprived entirely of something. OP wants to lose some weight. If she drops her insulin release, her body will be better able to use her body fat up. Carbs cause insulin release. I hope we can agree on that.

I've never suggested she stop eating carbs, and it doesn't really matter if you disagree with the Panel on Macronutrients, does it.Smile

Graphista · 16/07/2021 20:59

A YouTube video by someone who's qualifications are in economics/maths?! Good lord! The panel is marginally more suitable but good heavens!

I'll continue to listen to medically trained people and people genuinely qualified in dietetics thanks

TheFoundations · 16/07/2021 21:01

@Graphista

A YouTube video by someone who's qualifications are in economics/maths?! Good lord! The panel is marginally more suitable but good heavens!

I'll continue to listen to medically trained people and people genuinely qualified in dietetics thanks

Anybody can say that the FDA and the Panel on Macronutrients deem carbohydrates inessential, and everyone who did would be right.

As I said, it doesn't matter a jot if you disagree. Nobody's bothered.

TheFoundations · 16/07/2021 21:01

Sorry for derail, OP. Daft bunfight with Graphista is over.

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