Life is a choice between fun or thin

[fluffythedragonslayer]

Does anyone else feel this way?! That life is a constant battle between wanting to enjoy yourself and wanting to lose weight?

I've got about 2.5 stones to lose. I don't want a discussion about pros and cons of "diets" but I am doing slimming world combined with 16:8. This works, very slowly, if I stick to it rigidly. Over the January lockdown I gave up drinking, I obviously wasn't going out, we scaled way back on take aways and if we did get take away I always got something which fitted in "the plan". I lost a stone in 4 months. So not a quick loss but a nice amount to start off!

Now that life has opened up again, I'm lucky enough to have something going on most weekends. Barbecues, birthday dinners out, drinks with work etc. I love my life and I enjoy socialising, but the weight is no longer shifting and I'm worried it is slowly going back on. I'm gaining and losing the same bloody 2lb week in week out 😂

I like a drink, I don't go crazy but I like a couple of glasses of wine. I enjoy nice food and like going out for dinner. But as soon as I'm not "on plan", the weight goes on. I appreciate that can be the problem with "fad diets" but ANY weight loss.method will be the same, surely? Calorie counting, keto, whatever, none of them can fit in a burger and chips and a bottle of wine 😂

Successful slimmers who have kept it off - is it really a case of a complete lifestyle change, only ever eating salads in restaurants and giving up booze etc? Cos that's the only way it works for me and that seems like a sad way to live!

Next weekend I'm going out with friends and I'm genuinely considering eating before I go (we are going to a bar which serves food so can choose whether we eat there or not) and then sticking to diet coke. I will still enjoy seeing my friends but I won't enjoy watching them eat their delicious food and drink their prosecco! But I need a couple of "perfect" weeks to try and get this weight loss going again.

It's a constant battle. I have an underactive thyroid too (medicated) which doesn't help! I do participate in lots of exercise though.

Sorry this was long!! I'm feeling so frustrated by it all. Thanks for reading if you got this far?

I think you’re over-thinking it. If you are planning a big dinner, just have a regular breakfast and light lunch. A nice dinner out and a few glasses of wine aren’t that many calories.

My problem is snacking. I stick to just my meals and the weight drops off even without really thinking about what is in the meals, if that makes sense.

I get you OP.

I lost loads of weight by being quite rigid about what I was eating. We'd buy a packet of hob nobs in the weekly shop as our treat food and it would last two weeks.

I remember once going out for sushi for a big treat and only having one beer as otherwise my calories limit meant I wouldn't have eaten enough for dinner.

I'm in the garden now and I've just eaten a Cornetto. It was bloody lovely.

Sadly I dont have any answers OP , being ptett7ch on the same treadmill as you ( all my adult life) butIm currently reading. Why we eat ( too much) by Dr Andrew Jenkinson. Im only halfway through, but its fascinating about dieting and metabolism , regaining after diets and weight 'set point' .. If you are interested in some of these issues, id recommend it.

Hes promising answers and possible solutions in the third part of the book but I am not there yet!

I hear you. I need to lose at least 2 stone and I am a chocolate guzzler. I'm trying giving up sugar- might sound extreme but I am breastfeeding so get really hungry if I don't eat much, and also my husband works 12 hour shifts so there is no way I can fit in any exercise.

Good luck OP

Pretty much that should read....

Yep. The older I get I realise it’s not easy to balance eating all the food, having fun and being a healthy weight. Once you’ve been bigger I definitely feel like its constantly having to compromise and deny what you really want. I’ve another stone to lose. The only way I can shift it is calorie counting and reducing my calories. Having worked out my maintenance calories once I’m at target there’s still no way I can eat without abandon and not gain weight… I know how I got here, I know what I have to do, but it still doesn’t make me annoyed that I can’t eat like in my 20’s!!

The solution for me is to exercise loads. I run for this reason and I don’t mean the odd 5km. I try to run / hike at least 30 miles per week. Let’s me eat a lot more of what I want

The way I have to do it is.. be super strict while I'm losing and then once at target I can have weekends off.
If I have weekends off while losing then I spend the next week recovering the loss and get nowhere.

OP...how much honestly is your "I do participate in lots of exercise though"
Do you track your exercise and food intake against an app. How many calories a day do you eat and how many calories are you in deficit?
For me, being aware is the only way forward.

The problem is probably actually slimming world. Most people I know need to be 100% 'on plan' with it to achieve a small loss. Most people I know who have big losses on it actually only eat one meal a day.

Counting calories makes is easier to eat when you're out. It's virtually impossible on slimming world. You can have three happy meals from maccies a day and still be within 1200 calories. Granted, eating like that all of the time isn't ideal, but it demonstrates that one day out/eating less than ideal food doesn't need to set you off track in the same way it would on Slimming world.

You'll probably find that if you do start calorie counting, your portions are too big on slimming world too.

Thanks for all the replies! I don't track calories as I do slimming world (which works for me when I stick.to.it!) but I would be in the same boat if I did track calories (cos been there done that!) as it's so hard to fit any nice food into 1300 a day 😂

Exercise - yeah ok so I'm not running 10k a day! I walk minimum 20k steps every day, sometimes just as part of my working day but usually by topping up daily steps by going for a long walk in the evening. I run at the weekend (but I'm pants at it! Currently doing couch to 5k AGAIN as I just can't get it!). So I guess I have an active lifestyle but I'm not doing workouts everyday or whatever.

I think... I'm just never going to enjoy ordering a salad in a restaurant 😂

That being said, I do find the same problem as you do OP. I can't be arsed trying to lose weight anymore.

@Cazzamoomoo

The problem is probably actually slimming world. Most people I know need to be 100% 'on plan' with it to achieve a small loss. Most people I know who have big losses on it actually only eat one meal a day.

Counting calories makes is easier to eat when you're out. It's virtually impossible on slimming world. You can have three happy meals from maccies a day and still be within 1200 calories. Granted, eating like that all of the time isn't ideal, but it demonstrates that one day out/eating less than ideal food doesn't need to set you off track in the same way it would on Slimming world.

You'll probably find that if you do start calorie counting, your portions are too big on slimming world too.

Thanks - I know lots of people don't like slimming world but i have honestly tried everything and it is the only thing that I stick to that works. I've counted calories in the past and it's the same problem, I go over 1300 calories and I don't lose weight that week. Eating out on slimming world is, admittedly, very hard

You could probably actually lose weight on more than 1300 calories. I'm meant to need 1750 to maintain my weight and I lose weight when I eat that. I do absolutely no exercise either.

Yes I agree. Everyone I know who is slim is very disciplined continuously with their diet. They never deviate from it. It's all salads for dinner and no treats but once a week.

I love SlimmingWorld, my brain understands well and i can stick to it. Now that I'm at my target weight yes I can't eat the same way... or else I'll go back to the same weight, but that doesn't mean I can't have treats and enjoy myself. Maintaining weight is a lot easier than losing as when you're losing your always in a calorie deficit. Once you're at target you can enjoy your weekend then say be good during the week

When you reach target weight there is a structured maintenance plan you go on. You could go on to that for the summer, then go back on to the usual weight loss plan after that.

I'm finding after 9 months (4stone lost) that my tastes and preferences are changing. I'm eating fruit and yogurt and enjoying it rather than eating it because I'm not allowed something else.

I think that's the secret- get used to the new way of eating so it becomes a preference. Then adding a few treats isn't a disaster.

This week I've had birthday cake several times. One day it was instead of lunch, the other days I had it as syns. I really enjoyed it, and I think I'll still lose this week.

Make sure everything else is right as well- probiotic foods like live yogurt, fibre etc.

I'm convinced it's getting easier rather than harder. I'm less hungry, have fewer cravings and less interested in the foods that were once the treat I ate too much of.

Yep. It’s shit.

I never had to worry about my weight until I was 30. Was consistently a size 8-10 at 5ft 8 and never thought about how much or what I ate. Now in early menopause and with autoimmune conditions aged 40 I’m a good size 18 and I like food too much to change.

Do you follow 16:8 on the days when you are eating out etc? I lost 2 stone last year (slowly) with 16:8. I think I’ve kept it off because I follow it every day apart from when I really fancy breakfast or we’re away or something. We went to a bbq yesterday and I still only ate/drank anything with calories within the 8 hour time frame.

I should add that I don’t feel deprived at all with this pattern of eating so don’t feel that it’s a boring way to live life but maybe others would. It’s the only way I’ve ever been able to maintain with ease. Until now any weight loss would ever so gradually increase.

@PerfectionistProcrastinator

Do you follow 16:8 on the days when you are eating out etc? I lost 2 stone last year (slowly) with 16:8. I think I’ve kept it off because I follow it every day apart from when I really fancy breakfast or we’re away or something. We went to a bbq yesterday and I still only ate/drank anything with calories within the 8 hour time frame.

Yes I follow 16:8 fairly rigidly, unless as you say we are going for breakfast which we did on a recent holiday. If I've had a late dinner I will generally compensate by eating later the next day. I'd say I slip up with the 16:8 about once a month if that. I find it so easy to stick to!

Have a look at the quite old fashioned but extremely effective Paul Mackenna (I Can Make You Thin) I've always eaten healthily but when i hit 3 stone OW I lost it all with PM. it's not a diet it's a way of eating, a change of lifestyle.

So you eat when you're hungry BUT you eat slowly, really enjoying and tasting the food; not on the go or in front of a screen etc. (this makes eating junk food nearly impossible) It's easy to stop and start it . I wouldn't drink cxkx because the no calorie ones are worse for your health than the high proper sugar ones. Creating diabetic problems. Oh and I didn't and I don't exercise specifically .

I get what you mean OP, but I do think it helps to reframe what 'fun' means. Fun can be a long hike while you catch up with an old friend or wild swimming or cycling through the woods with a healthy picnic or playing volleyball on the beach. Or dancing all night long. It doesn't have to revolve around eating and booze.

I'm incapable of dieting. The very thought of restricting my food makes me binge. But I have completely changed my attitude to fun and tend to base my social life around active events now. I almost never meet friends for a glass of wine, always for a walk instead.

When I was younger and more self disciplined around food, I would happily go to a BBQ or party but just not eat much the day before and the day after.That worked too.

Once you’ve lost the weight it’s easier. I lost a stone and a half being strict, but I’m now done to my target weight (BMI of 22) and it’s easier to maintain. Be honest with yourself about calories and think about the week as a whole.

My week might be something like:
Monday - Thursday no alcohol, no snacks. I do intermittent fasting so I don’t eat until about 12:30, have a light lunch and normal dinner (usually like fajitas, pasta, stir fry, curry).

Friday / Saturday / Sunday I eat what I want and drink probably 1 or 2 bottles of wine. BUT I don’t have 3 big meals.

Saturday: I had a crumpet, crustless quiche for lunch and dinner was a takeaway (not restricted at all - spring rolls, gyozas, sweet and sour chicken and rice).

Sunday: bacon and poached egg muffin, a Brownie, then a takeaway pizza.

So on weekends, I’ll splurge, but if I’m getting Takeaway I make sure my other meals are small.

I think it is a real lifestyle change, but it doesn’t have to be as depressing as you make it out to be.

Sure, the burger, chips and a bottle of wine scenario is probably out. But a burger with salad (or bun-less burger with fries and salad) and glass of wine should be manageable here and there - once you’re at your target weight. While you’re dieting, stick to the salads and sparkling water.