The diet that has never failed me is failing me. Help me figure out why? TW - mentions undereating/ED of sorts.

[LazyMareofEastown]

Got fat in lockdown. Am a lifelong yo-yo dieter with issues around food. Have ranged between 9st and 13st in my adult life but usually keep myself in check between 10-11 stone.

Every time that I've ignored the scales for months and eaten junk with abandon only to then have the moment of awful awakening when you get on the scale, I've turned to low carb + low cal (not strict keto but completely cut out refined carbs and eat lean protein + veg at every meal). It has never not worked. Results have always been fast and drastic. Not this time 😔.

I started on 19th April and lost a stone in the first month. Then it was my birthday/eurovision/bank holiday so I had two cheat meals (not days!) and quite a bit of booze (tried to stick to gin and slim but there was wine too) and I went up 3.5 lbs and after two subsequent weeks of eating 700-800 cals a day max plus zero booze + lots of water (+ laxatives out of desperation 😔) and walking I'm still up those 3.5lbs.

Please don't say it's starvation mode it. It doesn't exist.

I'm 41 and my periods are all over the shop at the moment although I have no other peri menopause symptoms. Could it be hormonal? Is it my age? I've heard people say weight is harder to shift once you hit middle age but I didn't think it just became suddenly impossible at 41?

I eat two small meals a day, one snack. Every morsel is weighed including cooking fats and sauces. I don't drink sugary drinks or consume more calories than I think I do. I eat dinner between 5-6pm and then nothing till 12noon the next day.

I know my current behaviour is unhealthy. I will try to work on that. But as a logical, scientific person I can't understand how eating so few calories isn't resulting in weight loss? Am already formulating a plan in my head to not eat anything at all until I see DP tomorrow and he'll make me eat something. As I'm alone with DC till then, I can eat nothing and no-one will notice/comment.

DP (for whom the weight is falling off despite beer/burgers etc - am chuffed for him but 😭) keeps telling me to trust the process. How do I trust the process when the process seems to be broken?

OP, you will make yourself ill if you try to exist on 300 calories a day. That won't give your body the essential nutrients it needs to function. I agree with pp that you need to seek help.

You obviously know that what you are doing is really unhealthy but aren’t ready/able to address it right now so I won’t lecture you - I hope you’re ok and can find some way to be a bit kinder to yourself.
I just wanted to check - is there any chance you could be pregnant? You mentioned your periods are all over the place.

You mentioned your periods are all over the place.

That happens with disordered eating.

Just to add, it was my weekly weigh-in today and I stayed the same, even though I'd been 'good' with my eating and went for an 8 mile walk last weekend. It happens. The overall trajectory of my weight in the last 5 months is downward, but there've been plateau weeks and weeks where I've unaccountably gained a couple of lbs and then it's taken 3 weeks to lose them again. I've just accepted it's a marathon, not a sprint, to reach my goal weight. It's more important that I'm on a sustainable diet, not starving myself, but eating in a healthy way that I can continue even when I am no longer overweight.

Is it worth getting your thyroid checked? A friend had a problem with her thyroid and I remember her saying that she realised something was wrong when she kept putting on weight and it finally got to the point where the work clothes she'd taken off on a Friday evening were too small by Monday.

The best way to lose weight in my experience is fasting. Just cut out some leaks altogether.

*meals

I'm afraid I don't have any advice, @LazyMareofEastown but I recognise so much of my behaviour and thought processes in your posts so just wanted to send solidarity and tell you that you're not alone. My ED fluctuates but there are many many times in my life where I could have written your post almost word for word.

It's the ED talking and it sounds like the rational part of your brain knows that, but will be entirely overshadowed by the ED voice until you see the scales go down.

I know you can't afford private therapy right now and I also appreciate from experience that a GP wouldn't do anything because you're not "ill enough" - could you reach out to an ED charity like BEAT?

@justanotherneighinparadise

The best way to lose weight in my experience is fasting. Just cut out some leaks altogether.

Fasting is not appropriate for someone with disordered eating.

I honestly think so many peoples eating is disordered, though I take your point.

Docking

@justanotherneighinparadise

I honestly think so many peoples eating is disordered, though I take your point.

What’s your point? Plenty of people do have disordered eating. Most don’t actively starve themselves or take laxatives.

The op needs help, not diet tips.

Mumsnet is fast becoming a haven for people with eating disorders to come for solidarity in how to diet.

"The op needs help, not diet tips."

That is probably true and it sounds like the OP knows it (hence the mentions of EDs etc). But as she points out, realistically what help is there? If you can't afford private treatment and get turned away by the GP because services are so stretched and funding so limited that only those who are "ill enough" qualify, then what's the alternative?

Sometimes doing your best to manage it yourself is the only option. The OP knows what she's doing isn't healthy, knows it is disordered....but it sounds like she also knows if she sees the scales go down a couple of pounds then it will help her mindset and stop things spiralling further out of control.
I can understand why it seems like the lesser of two evils.

Hi, are you doing both? I didn't think it was possible/works it advised, thar if you are doing low carb, to do low cal at the same time?

@Redruby2020

Hi, are you doing both? I didn't think it was possible/works it advised, thar if you are doing low carb, to do low cal at the same time?

Definitely this. Our bodies primarily run on either carbs or fat. Cutting down on both at the same time will most likely cause your metabolism to massively slow down.

@TheBullfinch

Ah, I see, just cutting out processed food then.

Well, there comes a time in every woman's life when that just doesn't work any more sadly and although cycling will be healthy, you wont expend many calories doing it.

Cycling burns loads of calories.

I am down 2lbs this morning so am feeling much better. I will eat healthily today. I know how utterly bonkers and damaging it is to have your mood/behaviour dictated by a number on a scale but that's where I'm at currently. I've been like this my entire life (since puberty when I started to develop and my mum started to actively punish me for it) so I really don't know what it's like to have a healthy relationship with my body and with food.

Had a good chat with DP last night, he's worried about me and has very kindly offered to pay towards some ED related counselling.

Thanks for all your advice. I'm taking it all in.

Have you looked at the fast 800 in conjunction with 16:8 op? That's what I think I'm going to do now. I'm very similar to you, but have been focusing on getting my fasting blood glucose back into the 5's. Which it did, this morning.

There's some really worrying advice on this thread about cutting out meals, food groups and that cycling burns hardly any calories - cycling burns loads of calories!
OP as you are well aware and rightly choosing with exercise the best thing is to choose something you will enjoy and do consistently for pleasure, not punishment.
You are eating far too few calories and you know that. Apart from anything else you can't get enough micronutrients on that few calories.
Your weight doesn't just reflect your body fat, it can go up and down for all sorts of reasons mostly water and hormones. You can also use your measurements and the fit of your clothes, and weigh yourself daily and compare your weekly averages to help remove the effects of these fluctuations.
I have been following team rh on Facebook and it's really helped increase my knowledge of nutrition and how to lose fat in a sustainable safe way.

@3Britnee

Have you looked at the fast 800 in conjunction with 16:8 op? That's what I think I'm going to do now. I'm very similar to you, but have been focusing on getting my fasting blood glucose back into the 5's. Which it did, this morning.

Fasting is not appropriate for people with eating disorders.

She's doing it anyway,possibly with no structure and in an unsafe way - and 16:8 is better than laxatives.

Mumsnet.
For all your pro ana needs.