Defeated by fatness no more

[BreathingDeep]

Happy Monday!

Following my thread last week about how I, and so many of us, are feeling like we're defeated by our weight, here's a support thread for those of us who don't want stop ourselves from living the lives we want any more.

There were some amazing stories shared and so much honesty about how this is a struggle for so many of us. Here's the thread for anyone wanting to read:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4225173-Defeated-by-my-fatness-am-I-alone

I know that I am sick of feeling ashamed of myself. Sick of hiding away. Sick of feeling that I'm judged for my weight. Sick of feeling that I'm letting myself and my family down. Sick of feeling that my inside doesn't match the outside. Sick of living in the same few outfits because everything else is too tight or looks terrible. Sick of seeking solace in food that doesn't nourish me. Sick of treating myself badly.

If you feel the same, come and join us! Everyone will have their own journey, their own approach and that's fine - please, no criticism or judgement of anyone's plan. The main aim is that we all take steps, every single day, to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.

For me, that means today will include drinking water, taking a long lunch and having a dog walk with a friend (this NEVER happens because work always comes first) and sticking with my Cambridge plan.

How about you?

[MSQuinn]

@theotherfossilsister, that’s not illogical at all. I’m so sorry it must be horrible. Have you had any counselling?

A mixed day food wise. The bag of crisps wasn’t a good idea. But I have done 12,000 steps and drunk 3lts of water so that’s a possible. Walking the dog today reminded me why I want to lose weight due to all the aches and pains. I saw an image of a Skelton and the weight surrounding it and it made me really think about the pressure I’m putting on my body. I’ve picked up on some of the books suggested and plan to read them. Emotional eating is something I’ve always found incredibly difficult. That said I’ve never had any particular healthy ways of dealing with down emotions so it’s something I’d really like to tackle.

[HalfWomanHalfChocolate]

Hi all! Not too bad here - fasting for c 15 hours a day (can’t quite manage 16 due to kids’ bedtime) and eating 2 meals. Mostly low carb but I ate the lasagne yesterday - just couldn’t face making a separate pasta-free one with aubergine for me. I just don’t have the time to tweak everything and It’s that kind of rigidity that makes me give up altogether. Need to keep it real!

But... work is so busy and my kids are very time-consuming and challenging (ASD) so I’ve not found any time to walk. Must do much better on that. And drink more water.

Still made an effort to juzh (sp?) my hair and put on some lip gloss, even just for a video call. It helps me to feel better and then to treat my body better.

Welcome to the new people. @HUCKMUCK I know it must feel like a challenge that will
Never end but you definitely can make a massive difference to your health and the way you feel. You don’t have to lose all of your excess weight to do that, any decrease will help. Small
Steps. I need to lose about 6st but know I feel
Loads better just 2st lighter. That’s my first weight goal. And if that’s where I stick I still think my knees will thank me!

Keep being kind to yourselves, everyone!

[Fruityfriday]

Can I join? I feel dreadful, I'm 13'4 and want to be 10 but 11.5 would mean I can get back into some fantastic clothes. I feel so fat and old. I'm going to try cutting white cards and no more wine or crisps but will allow a g&t at the weekend. Just flabby fat and lazy and I have no excuses.

[Harpydragon]

Morning, I know I shouldn't, but I did a sneaky jump on the scales this morning and have lost some weight, which I knew actually you can already see a difference in my face. Eating better means I lose a lot of the puffiness there straight away.

I am doing slimming world combined with fasting so 16:8 most days and fasting all day Thursdays. I know slimming world doesn't work for everyone, I think it's very easy to forget you should only eat until you feel full and so end up over eating. I find that fasting kind of resets your hunger point so you must definitely know what hunger feels like and what fullness feels like. Its kind of weird knowing that you are hungry BUT that it won't kill you to be hungry for a bit longer.

I have a definite Goal to aim for. A friend is getting married in August and I want to be slimmer by then. I know I won't be slim slim, but I can have lost a couple of stone and be feeling better about myself. I figure it will take me 1-2 years to lose all my weight but hopefully will feel better once it's off. I just need to keep ploughing on.

Hope you're all doing OK too, and if you are not, have a very unmumsnetty hug. You will be ok.

[Roussette]

Welcome Fruity similar weight and similar aims here.

I'm doing the 16:8 too. I'm just taken aback that I don't feel hungry. I've never wanted breakfast and I am eating much more carefully with different low calorie meals, and even DH is enjoying them. It just goes to show that if I'm not hungry, I was overeating massively.

But it's early days for me... just two and a half weeks into this.

[MSQuinn]

My scales cried when I stepped on them, though that could’ve been my inner self sobbing. I need to loose at least 5st and that’s being kind. It’s more like 6. We are hopefully going away in August only in the U.K. but I can’t face lumbering around the countryside. Especially as my knees hurt and my youngest child is a runner (she’s autistic). It feels a bit like it’s a huge mountain so I’m going to aim for small goals. The first one being 14 stone which is about 1 stone and 10 lbs off.

[harknesswitch]

I've been tracking my weight over the past 4 weeks and I can definitely see a trend. I've put it in a spreadsheet and created a graph (guess what I do for a living ) I knew I knew this, but it's my weekends I struggle with. It goes down a few lbs over the week, then back up a few on the weekend. I get so bloody cross at myself on Monday morning.

It only takes a holiday or special occasion in the week to see an extra lb going on, and because of the weekends it's stays there. So hence my gradual creep of weight on

[Peachypips78]

@Fruityfriday hi- I am almost exactly the same as you- 13.5, 11.5 nicer clothes and 10 would be my healthy BMI.

@harknesswitch I have a spreadsheet offered by someone on the last thread- it's amazing! Total game changer for me and helping me split to different goals. I also struggle with weekends but am really going to try not to wreck it this one!

My first small goal is 7 pounds off. Two gone so far.

[Onesmallstep67]

Morning. A reasonable day yesterday with my meals but silly snacking again. Being in tune with my hunger and breaking out of seeing the snacks as 'not really counting' or as a reward for lower calorie choices are my priorities. 2 years ago I had a real epiphany where food, diet and my weight was concerned and I attacked it with vigour and determination. 2 years on I feel a bit tired with it all so need to find that purpose and focus again.
Hope you all have a good day.

[sylv165]

@Harpydragon yey! That's brilliant that you are starting to see some progress.

@harknesswitch I'm exactly the same. I've managed to ditch alcohol and snacks during the week but come the weekend I find it really hard to resist wine, which makes it really hard to resist crisps, which sends me into a carb spiral that makes it really hard to resist ALL THE FOOD for the rest of the weekend. I'm trying to drink in moderation now - so a couple of glasses of wine of Friday, then a couple of glasses on Saturday in the hope that that helps.

[Harpydragon]

[quote sylv165]@Harpydragon yey! That's brilliant that you are starting to see some progress.

@harknesswitch I'm exactly the same. I've managed to ditch alcohol and snacks during the week but come the weekend I find it really hard to resist wine, which makes it really hard to resist crisps, which sends me into a carb spiral that makes it really hard to resist ALL THE FOOD for the rest of the weekend. I'm trying to drink in moderation now - so a couple of glasses of wine of Friday, then a couple of glasses on Saturday in the hope that that helps.[/quote]
I know what you mean about crisps, they are my absolute weakness and I cannot stop at one bag. I have decided not to have them at all until i am back more in control. Its a bit all or nothing for me unfortunately.

I'm hoping to learn moderation in due course, I know my eating is disordered so hoping to crack that first.

[altlife]

Just did W1R2 - oh god I found it harder today! Those muscles have been forced to come out of hiding and are being very stubborn

I ate total rubbish yesterday, it happened sooner than I thought but I know now to put it behind me and try better today. Was aiming to do only eat between 12-8 today but feeling hungry now...

Hope everyone is well today, be good to yourselves xx

[Roussette]

I've just done W2R1 and it was better than W1 !! Longer run by 30 seconds but less of them.

I find all this relatively manageable during the week (not easy, but manageable) but weekends are really really tricky for me.

[sylv165]

Also just back from W2R1. I did find this one a bit harder but my calves are starting to play up - need to stretch more I think!

[mermaidsariel]

Well... my doctor has just been on the phone spelling out the dangers of diabetes. I have been pre diabetic for years. She’s put the fear of god in me. I’m cutting out carbs as much as possible and calorie count ring.

[MSQuinn]

@mermaidsariel, I too worry about diabetes. Every twinge I’m googling it to see if I’m making myself ill.

[sylv165]

Me too, this is a massive fear of mine. I've not been tested but I wouldn't be at all surprised if I was pre-diabetic (or worse). But sounds like you are still at the stage where it can be reversed @mermaidsariel so maybe that is your incentive.

[Harpydragon]

I too worry about diabetes. If I'm not pre diabetic it'll be a miracle. Hoping to get my weight sorted before they test me for it

[Orangesandlemons77]

I've put on loads of weight over the lockdown and now 13 stone, I'm 5ft 3 and this is the heaviest I have been

However had bloods taken recently and cholesterol and blood sugars are ok. So it doesn't have to mean the start of diabetes

However I'm going to try and eat healthy exercise more and lose weight as it may well do over the longer term.

[HalfWomanHalfChocolate]

Diabetes worry - me too! In fact I’ve been having some marginal worrying symptoms and I’m trying to put the fear to good use by getting a grip. Maybe I should go to the GP and be even more frightened...

mermaid what was the most scary thing he/she said? I need to be scared!

It really helps me to remember the non-vanity reasons I’m doing this. Vanity has never been enough of a motivator to actually eat well (been overweight all my adult life) but getting to my mid-40s and feeling mortal is definitely focussing my mind more.

MSQuinn we are v similar weight, and I also have to huff and puff after my bolting ASD kids. And I was an older mum too (42 when I had the smallest) so time, as well as fitness /fatness, is not my friend! I’m also slightly dreading holidays (May half term and august) as there will be HILLS .

Every little bit off helps though.

Randomly had a cold roast chicken leg for lunch - just 12 mins between meetings and avoiding bread, and couldn’t think of anything else I could forage for. I need to take lunch to work tomorrow, not flush with ideas other than salad but now have no chicken to put in it

[mermaidsariel]

@HalfWomanHalfChocolate
I've been pre diabetic for about three years or more but the doctor has never given me any advice or encouragement to do anything about it until now. I know it's up to me, but i assume if they aren't worried, I shouldn't be. This time was different. The results were the same but the doctor asked me what I knew about diabetes and what i thought i could expect. I muttered about losing limbs etc but she listed a whole load of medication I can expect to be on in the next few years, how diabetes affects the arteries, how it damages sight and increases the risk of dementia. All the drugs are very bad for a person, including statins for high blood pressure and issues with cholesterol. I also have high cholesterol, though nothing so bad as it needs medication at the moment. Being overweight increases the risk of all cancers , and is strongly linked with breast cancer . It damages the nerves as well.
She also talked about the mood swings with blood sugar fluctuations. I have noticed that and assumed it was menopause when this all started, but apparently it can be caused by blood sugar. The thing that really shocked me is she emphasised that damage is being done already although i am not diabetic yet. I hadn't really taken that on board.

I have been feeling very tired all the time, have had thrush constantly for over a year and have had a number of UTIs. I am just under 13 stone at 5 foot 3.
What I can't understand is that i eat very healthily and exercise every day. I don't add sugar to anything and rarely eat chocolate or puddings. My portions sizes are just too large and my genes are predisposed to diabetes. I am determined to do something about this, the doctor has given me a wake up call, and I wish someone had done it earlier (of course, it's my responsibility).

[theotherfossilsister]

Thank you @MSQuinn and @Roussette

I am getting CBT and think it is helping. The world just seems like such a scary place right now and getting mentally well seems such a battle that sometimes it's hard to focus on anything else but my BMI is now thirty so need to do something.

Everything on this thread about diabetes is so worrying too. It's been a hell of a year and a bit for all of us though.

I didn't manage the walk yesterday but ran round the local park and got the bus to co-working space today but dp came to meet me so walked back with him.

[myfuckingfreezer]

Hello all! Reporting for duty. I lost 4 stone in the first months of last year but have put over 1.5 stone back on since then mainly since Xmas!

So rebooting as we go back to the office in 6 weeks and I want to look and feel my best self. So will redo C25k (why oh why did I stop?!) and no chocolate. Once I get this under control I can eat some everyday like last time, but I need the zero allowance to start.

So progress
Jan 20 - 225 pounds
June 20 - 168 pounds
April 21 - 190 pounds (grrrrrr)

Goals
June 21 - 170 pounds
August 21 - 154 pounds

[MrsSlocombesPussy]

I've been a bit lax about recording my calorie intake this week, so I don't think I'll lose much. Normally I'd give up counting calories at this point, but I will restart today.
On the plus side I did 10000 steps on Tuesday and Wednesday

[Onesmallstep67]

Morning. How's everyone doing ? Don't know if anyone saw the programme last night about how some slim people seem to be able to eat whatever they want and never put on weight ? One guy appeared to eat a lot but did it at regular intervals and pretty much the same thing every day. Another woman was flagged up for eating lots of food but from a very wide range of sources and her diet contained lots of vegetables and vinegar ( broadly speaking) The last girl ate lots of takeaway and convenience stuff but her hunger seemed to be in very short bursts lots of times through the day and she rarely finished any meal or snack and felt 'satisfied' quickly. For her the expert opinion was that her body responded well to the hormones that control appetite; the girl who ate a very wide range of foods had an extremely healthy range of bacteria in her gut - which they implied helped - and the guy who ate most of his food early in the day was doing something intuitive that his body responded to ( sorry a bit fuzzy on that one) What was amazing is that they calculated calories eaten against needs and pretty much it was even. Anything between about 1900 calories and 2300. To me it looked like they were consuming lots more calories than that. It was an interesting watch. I am not offering this up by way of an excuse but I have always felt that what I ate didn't match what I weighed. At college in my 20s I lived with a girl who ate huge amounts whenever she wanted and just didn't put on any weight whereas I always struggled.
Down 3lbs from last weekend so that's a huge motivator for me. 6 weeks until my event, ideally another 9lbs loss would be amazing but 6lbs would be great.
Have a great day everyone