Ditching the diets and going it alone

[bingsulaflop]

Hello all,

I'm stuck in a bit of a starting Slimming World, restrict, binge cycle.

Please don't tell me how to do SW I've been doing it on and off for years I know the ins and outs.

Has anyone ditched the diets and gone it alone successfully? I feel like I need a mind set switch and to stop focusing constantly on little things.

How often have you weighed?
What have you done?

Where to start?!
I'm a bit at a loss so any advice is very much appreciated.

I'm not hugely off where I feel comfortable at, around 1.5 stone just for reference.

Thank you

Yes, I also have given it way too much headspace LazyLinguist.

I have tried every diet known to (wo)man over the last 10 years - I'm in my late 50s. Yet I am still approximately the same weight, which is about a stone overweight according to that annoying BMI bx.

I started yet another diet this Monday, but by Tuesday evening was so starving, it was unbearable (and I'm used to diets and IF so it felt quite odd). I thought this is crazy, its affecting my life and enjoyment of life.

So, from now on, no diets whatsoever! Imagine !

Just trying to eat healthily, as little as I can as I need so little at my age and low activity levels, but more when I want to or feel the need. I will try not to eat after 6 - 7 pm at night, and anyway I notice, if I have a good meal around that time I'm not usually hungry afterwards

This was a wake up call. To accept myself as I am. I have thought this before but it seems it never lasts. This time it seemed like the penny dropped. I need to face up to the fact that I will never be a size 10/12 or Wallis Simpson clotheshorse-thin. Even though I like clothes, so this is an itsy bit sad to give up. But I can still enjoy some clothes and styles I like, adjust accordingly. I can't spend another 10 years f-ing about with diets that make no difference in the end. Its a ghastly state to be in, instead of living life and getting on with whats important. (Men don't have these self-hatreds and struggles because they're a stone over BMI, and most men don't care that much about women who are, and those that do, can bloody jog on anyway). Most people love or like other people for who they are, not if whether they are a size 8 or 18. I am who I am and try to enjoy life as I can. And at this moment having a lovely cup of coffee with milk and sugar is fitting the bill quite nicely ...

It really is as simple as calorie deficit. Using my fitness Pal really does open your eyes to how much extra calories someone can consume in a day. Burn off more than you consume. I generally eat around 1300/1400 calories in a day and burn off close to 2000. I have a dog and try to walk 5km+ in a day as well as do online hiit workouts 3 times a week. I have lost half a stone since march (not overweight just wanted to loose about that much).

November not march. (did have a rest for Xmas and new year)

November not march. (did have a rest for Xmas and new year)

@TooExtraImmatureCheddar I thought I could never give up my morning coffee with milk but I did. The first week feels little bit miserable but you will just have to stick with it. You are an adult and can do it if you really want to.

It's been about a month now that I've only had black coffee as my breakfast and today was the first morning I really enjoyed it. I remember reading somewhere it takes in average 33 days to learn a new habit. I really wanted to make a change to my insulin resistance so decided to ride it out. I have another coffee (with milk) after my lunch and it tastes divine too.

If you are insulin resistant, calories in calories out won't make much a difference. When your body segregates too much insulin, you can do all the exercise in the world yet burn only the glucose you've consumed through out the day (and yesterday, and day before) but your body won't be able to access the internal fat.

Also weightloss is 90% diet and 10% exercise. What used to put me off was the thought of having to do hour long sessions at the gym. I wish I knew years ago that it is not necessary at all. You can do short HIIT sessions at home which will make a difference. Youtube is full of 10-15min long HIIT sessions you can follow. If you have a kettlebell or dumb bells, those will help too and won't take much space. Walking and running are great for your mental health but don't think you have to do 5k everyday in order to stay slim.

Personally I think SW is full of BS, allowing you to have cheat days, unlimited pasta, promoting highly processed sweet "yogurts" yet ticking off avocados. Eating pasta and muller corners will just keep you in a perpetual carb craving cycle.

I've gone it alone (4 stone down so far).

For me, this has meant using this time to really and truly understand myself and my body. As pp have said, there are all sorts of things that 'mess' with the cals in/cals out balance. Those things vary by individual.

I've made it a goal to try and work out what varieties apply for me, specifically.

I count the calories I eat, but typically try not to eat things I wouldn't eat anyway. I might eat less of some things and more of others but try not to eat things I would never previously eat or totally cut out things I love.

e.g. a close friend of mine always starts a diet with an advocado smoothie. That's what she thinks is required. However, she hates advocados and never usually drinks smoothies - so it's just not right for her. She can never keep it up over a long time.

I hate advocados too. So I ain't gonna eat them. I love ice cream so I am never going to give it up, though might cut down on how much I eat. I like veg so can eat a bit more of that and enjoy it.

I track my TDEE, track my weight, track my calories and use all that data - over a sustained period - to work out the truth for me.
e.g. If, over a 4 week period, I eat an average of 1800 calories a day and Fitbit shows I burn an average of 2800 calories a day and I lose about 7lbs in that time. Then I can use that to work out that I need a deficit of 4285 calories to lose a lb - regardless of whatever 'the books' say about it being 3500 kcals.

I can see that just before a period I weight about 4lbs more than I do just after - so I learn to discount those weigh-ins because they are out of line.

If I spend enough time and patience thinking about the things that affect how I feel I can spot how I eat a whole lot more if I am tired or cold. So I need to do everything I can to ensure I don't get tired and I don't get cold. If it happens anyway and I have a day when I am very tired I might deliberately eat my whole TDEE calories and not worry about it. I give myself permission to do so, and it becomes less like a cheat and more like deliberate self care to feed myself the calories I need when I most need them.

I can spot that 3 weeks is about the length of time before, despite all my mitigations, a diet feels relentless. So I can deliberately have 1 week of eating my TDEE every 3 weeks of eating at a deficit. I can tweak the timing so fit with my plans - so my next TDEE week with include Easter and this will allow me to eat a big old Easter Egg and know it is not harming me.

I worked hard on coming to terms with this being a loooong term deal. If I lose an average of half a pound a week then I am winning. And tracking all my weight allows me to see that 'half a pound a week' might not look like that on the scales. It might look like 3 weeks of staying at exactly the same weight and then one week of 2lb loss.

This is a lifetime deal. So don't think "what's the most effort I can put into losing weight". Think "what's the least effort required to start the scale shifting in the downward direction that I can live with forever".

Day 3 of going it alone. Or to be more accurate, day 2 as yesterday was son’s birthday so had Chinese takeaway, chocolate birthday cake, icecream etc. My only concession was to have smaller portions, but the whole meal was probably 1400 calories! I don’t mind, life is for living. Gone for 30-60 minute walks aver the last few days also.

It really is as simple as calorie deficit. Using my fitness Pal really does open your eyes to how much extra calories someone can consume in a day.

That doesn't make it any easier to have the willpower to stop eating the 'extra calories' though. Just like knowing that doughnuts and chocolate aren't good for you doesn't stop people from eating them. The problem isn't that people don't know they are eating too much or the wrong things. The problem is stopping doing it!

Only thing that's ever worked for me is walking more and being in a calorie deficit.

@lazylinguist

It really is as simple as calorie deficit. Using my fitness Pal really does open your eyes to how much extra calories someone can consume in a day.

That doesn't make it any easier to have the willpower to stop eating the 'extra calories' though. Just like knowing that doughnuts and chocolate aren't good for you doesn't stop people from eating them. The problem isn't that people don't know they are eating too much or the wrong things. The problem is stopping doing it!

But if you get to a point that you want to consiously loose some weight then surely you know you have to cut out the doughnuts or whatever, and get some willpower otherwise its obvious you won't loose weight without cutting the extra calories

I think this is exactly the right attitude and one I hope to internalise:

@EggcellentTaste
This is a lifetime deal. So don't think "what's the most effort I can put into losing weight". Think "what's the least effort required to start the scale shifting in the downward direction that I can live with forever".

Don't think I have the staying power or attention to detail to achieve the data-driven approach you have depicted above, but I'm aiming for the same place via a more intuitive route!

But if you get to a point that you want to consiously loose some weight then surely you know you have to cut out the doughnuts or whatever, and get some willpower otherwise its obvious you won't loose weight without cutting the extra calories

In theory maybe. But in practice most people don't. Or if they do, they don't manage to keep the weight off. Most diets (or 'ways of eating', or 'lifestyle changes') fail, because hardly anyone sticks to them. If everyone (or even most people) who 'consciously realised they wanted to lose some weight' actually managed to do it, we wouldn't have a situation where the majority of people are overweight!

Last night I made the decision to ditch low carb which had been successful in the past but I’ve been cheating because I got so miserable. I’ve gone back to my fitness pal and am going to log all of my food.

I’d got into such a rut on low carb that all I’ve eaten for months is meat and Greek yoghurt and drinking coffee, cups and cups all day with double cream. I literally haven’t eaten anything else.

I’m looking forward to baked beans, toast, sandwiches etc but all in moderation. I feel like I’ve almost forgotten how to eat a variety of food.

I must admit I’m feeling nervous. How ridiculous of me!

@DixiePeach some ideas for you that aren't excessively carbs and are also not excessively calorific

• ryvitq with cottage cheese/jalapeño Philadelphia/avocado/sliced hard boiled egg
• runny boiled egg with asparagus spears
• chicken breast slices with steamed green beans, sugar snap peas, asparagus, baby corn. Add a small knob of butter and salt and pepper for a quick warm salad for lunch
• spicy scrambled eggs with sliced peppers, spring onion, chilli and/or a dash of hot sauce or veg loaded omelette with onion, mushrooms, peppers and a small amount of cheddar or sliced ham

-quark instead of Greek yoghurt, it's same calories, slightly more protein, less salt, creamier and less tangy. You can get it flavoured (nestle white chocolate one tastes like cheesecake) or unflavoured that you can add seed and berries to or use it like soft cheese the same as you would ricotta in a risotto or spread on toast with cracked black pepper.

Don't think I have the staying power or attention to detail to achieve the data-driven approach you have depicted above

I AM a nerd for a detailed excel chart

I help women switch their mindset. DM me if you'd like a few pointers :)

Any particular insights that you can share publicly @LeslieYep? It's almost like you're touting for business.

@pickachew I really didn't want it to come across that way!
The information is all out there for people, everything is free.
Going it alone is completely do-able, if you make a plan.
Look objectively at what you eat and what you do. Find the big rocks - the things you can change either easily or the ones that will bring about a big result.
Change 2-3 things a week. Once you have a handle on those, change a couple more.
Make sure you take measurements so you can either see or feel progress.
Decide what your end point is and make stepping stones.

Generally people KNOW what to do, they just need help implementing it.

@HalfShrunkMoreToGo thanks I’ve got some of your suggestions on my shopping list for today.

Any other low cal meal/snack ideas anyone has to share?

I did a salmon tray-bake last.

Put salmon in baking tray. Add mushrooms, onions, peppers etc. Cover with passata/tinned tomato with chilli in it. Bake for around 25 minutes.

Serve with green veg - beans, broccoli, peas etc.

I used frozen salmon.

I’ve also got in the habit of buying the pre- packed salads and adding them on the plate as it fills the plates.