So tired of trying and failing

[TooOldandTired]

Is anyone else just so sick of trying to lose weight and feel like their whole life is impacted by it? I'm 43 and since I was a teenager I have been overweight and it has gone up and up over the years and I am now 20 Stone. I have done so many diets, personal trainers, gym, courses over the years I couldn't even count them and the end result is that I always end up heavier! You would think lockdown would have been the ideal time to lose weight and I have tried a couple of times and lost a stone and then it goes straight back on with a few pounds for extra measure. I'm just so tired of constantly thinking about it, reading about it, looking for new things to try but ultimately getting nowhere. It impacts every part of my life. I look awful all the time and can't be bothered with making any effort. I have low level health issues which will not doubt get worse as I get older unless I do something. I'm worried about dying young and I have 2 small children and there is so much I want to do with them and I keep thinking I will lose the weight and then it will be fine but the years are passing and I feel like they are missing out on so much. In some ways I really wish I could just stop thinking about just accept I am fat and live my life.
I know that I just need to get off my arse and move more and eat less, my logical brain understands that I just can't get the rest of me to agree.
Anyway thanks for reading and sorry for the moanfest, not sure why I am posting, feeling a bit at the end of my tether.

@Luckyelephant1 Thanks for the tips, I'm definitely going to try and start slowly with walking and being more healthy with food.

@Odile13 thanks for posting, I'm always happy to hear about someone who has lost the weight so will definitely listen to the podcast. You just never know when something might click into place and you might finally get the mindset right.

@HandyBendySandy It just feels like it will never end doesn't it. Like you said what your brother does isn't healthy either but it is interesting in that I think it had taken me some time to realise that the majority of people who are slim do have to constantly think about what they eat (consciously or subconsciously). Well done on getting started, I really hope it continues to go well for you. Take care.

@safetyzone Thanks for posting, I know what you mean and I think a few posters have said the same re focusing on health and taking small steps, my brain/stomach just doesn't seem to understand but I guess it is up to me to make it. Well done on your fitness that is brilliant.

@Wolfiefan Thanks, I'm making note of all the good suggestions and will get myself moving!

I understand exactly what you're talking about! I was 163lbs a few weeks ago having lost 7 lb on the low carb boot camp and today having leapt off the wagon with abandon I'm 170lbs again.
I'm 5" 1" so that is not good. I need to lose weight for health reasons, I know this but have still gained and lost the same 10lbs for the last 18 months.
For the 18 years before that I would gain and lose the same 2 stone.
I have precooked some food this afternoon and am going back on the wagon tomorrow because I just can't afford to give up.
I also got an online counsellor solely for this.
I know two people who went to a weight loss clinic and lost 4-5 stone each and kept it off.
I can't recommend it because I'm in Ireland bit there might be something similar near you?
There was nothing earth shattering about the diets they were put on, just lower calorie healthier meals. With a strong emphasis on avoiding processed food.
What worked is that they were told upfront that the aim would be 2lbs a week weightless on average, so to plan to sign up for at least 18 months and commit to attending weekly/bi-weekly weigh-in/counseling sessions.
It worked out at about €60 a month for the counseling/weigh-in sessions.
But it did work and the slow and steady approach was effective in changing habits, so it has stayed off. In one case for five years and the other three.
One of the women was in her thirties and the other in her fifties.
If you could afford it something like that might be worth looking into?
Best of luck and try to go easier on yourself.
I keep telling myself there is no point being miserable about my weight and adding guilt about not dieting to it.
If I can't be skinny for a while yet, might as well be happy!

Just remember that the number on the scales is not the be all and end all of your health. No one really cares how much you weigh but yourself. Even if you don't lose any weight, you can still be healthier by exercising and eating better food for health. Work on versioning up of your current self rather than pining for a version that doesn't exist (yet). Think of a short term health or fitness goal rather than thinking about having to lose certain number of kilos by certain date, and stop putting pressure on yourself. Mindset is important!

Hi OP, I've spent most of my adult life the same sadly. 10 years ago I was at my slimmest which was still 13 stone odd which is where everyone else on weight loss threads seems to be starting from & it's my goal!

I'm 43 & need to realise that it's a full time job & rather than going on diets, I can occasionally have a day or 2 off a healthy diet instead.

However, I have managed to lose just under 2 stone since the 4th Jan this year. I started at 18 stone 9lb, which I was so ashamed of as I'd lost 1.5 stone just last year near the start of Covid. like pp says, I started with achievable goals, doing 10k steps a day & no alcohol in Jan. I then started logging calories on mfp.

I've been successful with slimming world in the past but I really didn't want to get back into it as feel resentful being back on that environment, (even though it's clearly my own fault that I regained weight).

I don't know why I've stuck at it this time, (so far). I built myself up to in while I was eating & drinking my way through December. Lockdown maybe helped as I said to myself, do 6 weeks of a prison sentence & take it from there. I knew I was going to be miserable whether eating & drinking or not & didn't want to hate myself more for failing at the end of lockdown. Losing a stone in Jan gave me such a massive boost to keep going. I have been thinking that I will set up a reminder on the 1st of every month to weigh myself & have a trigger weight where action must be taken!

I find it difficult not having support IRL but have joined a few of the threads in the weight loss topic & that really helps. I haven't really started doing any exercise yet, will try to start something soon but the 10k steps is great if you've a Fitbit or similar as it's easy to monitor and my inner child adores seeing the fireworks on screen when I hit my target! 😂

I hope you find something that works for you & you find some support to help you work through it!