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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

At rock bottom

16 replies

IHaveSoHadEnoughNow · 18/02/2021 22:17

I feel so fed up with my weight and honestly feel at rock bottom.

I have been unhappy for years- currently 15 stone (5 ft 4) and just cannot seem to stick to anything. I have had some success with my fitness pal but only last a week. I can't even do that at the moment.

I just want to cry. I feel so self conscious and unhealthy- I carry most of the weight around my stomach and honestly look hideous naked (and with clothes, actually).

I am 36 and desperately want to get healthier and lose this bloody weight! I just feel useless.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or feel in the same position?

Sorry for all the negativity 😔

OP posts:
keeponkeepinon · 18/02/2021 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/02/2021 00:09

Did you go in "too hot"? We all have somet problems at the beginning! Don't worry.
Maybe try smaller changes.
Start eating quarter less of anything than you would normally? Something easier than counting or getting rid of food groups. I found that leniency does help me stick with it.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/02/2021 00:10

Everyone is different so try some different approaches. Join in on se support threads and see where it takes you

rainbowninja · 19/02/2021 00:16

Have you looked at the emotional side
of it and whether there is any element of
emotional eating? You could also look
at body confidence type stuff, it's ok to love your body no matter what size it is and still feel motivated to lose weight for health reasons

Girlintheframe · 19/02/2021 07:50

I think weight loss really comes down to mind set. If your head is not in the right place it's almost impossible.
When I've felt like you in the past I've made very small changes. Self care things mainly like going for a walk, doing my nails, buying some lovely body lotion.
Sounds trivial but the more I made an effort the more I felt I was worth taking care of.
I tried to embrace my weight whilst at the same time doing things which were beneficial for my mental and physical health.
This led to me being able to stick to whatever changes I wanted to make with my diet.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 19/02/2021 08:33

Oh, OP!
Sorry you feel so down.

OK; I had been getting heavier and heavier, unhappy at work and home, in denial about how I was losing the body shape that suited me, and then horrified and upset by the pictures of me celebrating my Dc’s 18th . Sad

It took me almost another year to to something about it, I just didn’t step into the right headspace.

Then at the beginning of lockdown 1 I suddenly and quite randomly ‘clicked’ with a thread in this board, and haven’t looked back.

Friendliness made a difference, (I joined a later thread under a different name, but all have been friendly, helpful and informative), as well as my own gear shift.

When I wasn’t getting to grips with losing the excess stones I viewed weight loss as a chore, a burden.

Then suddenly saw adopting healthy eating and exercise that I enjoyed as a pleasurable project, like starting a long book, and intending to enjoy each chapter.

I didn’t adopt any ‘diet’, I just chose healthy food that I enjoy, ate in modest portions, and cut out eating biscuits, choc, crisps and toast as regular snacks.

I have eaten those things, often, but as a one off in the week, not routine snacks.

But enjoying healthy eating and putting effort into healthy cooking was a big part of keeping me going.

The next thing was celebrating success. I have been losing roughly 1lb a week / 500g, and from the first half pound was pleased with myself and used that as motivation to go for the next half pound. I like to visualise weight loss in terms of packets of butter: every half pond is a packet of butter less round my middle.

Thirdly, don’t be deterred and discouraged by minor gains / no loss weeks. Just like the Covid graphs that have little up and down spikes all the way down the overall downward slope. You are still ahead of yourself if you are not above your starting weight.

Key is finding an eating pattern that suits you and your lifestyle and that you can adjust to without it feeling like torture.

It did take me about a week to break the all day snacking habit. It helps to have some designated ‘allowed’ snacks. A satsuma, carrot batons, spoonful of cottage cheese or a spoonful of yogurt with frozen blueberries, cup of miso soup were mine.

I have lost 15Kgs since May.

And I could see / feel the difference quite quickly, which encouraged me, people really started to comment early autumn. (I didn’t tell anyone I was on a mission, except to mention sometimes that I was trying to adjust to a healthier diet in the face of COVID)

I do wish you the best of luck, OP.

MrsBobDylan · 19/02/2021 09:38

@RainingBatsAndFrogs that is great advice. I used to work as a journalist and when they interviewed someone who had been successful in loosing weight, they would ask them what spurred them on, what was the exact moment when they knew they were going to change.

Same as you, it was a photo for me, standing next to my two sisters. Also like you, it then took me another year before I felt really ready to start the change.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/02/2021 09:40

My furniture let me know I could kindly lose or fuck off...
I agree. There often is event acting as a set off.

IHaveSoHadEnoughNow · 19/02/2021 09:41

Thank you so much for your replies, I really appreciate it!

Just sorting out the kids then will be back to read through and respond

OP posts:
Pancakeorcrepe · 19/02/2021 10:40

OP I really feel for you, you sound so down, I've been there myself.
I'm here to tell you that YOU CAN DO THIS!
When you have some time, sit down and read the threads on here. Try to think of what has made it difficult in the past to stick to a healthy lifestyle and set some very small goals.
Could you do a form of exercise everyday? Even if it is just 15 minutes walking, or a 15 minute Youtube video. You may already be doing more than this. In that case, try to increase your exercise by just a few minutes everyday and work on the consistency. For example if you go for a walk 4x times a week, try to go everyday. Make some very small but attainable changes.
Food wise, is there one small change you could do? Add an additional vegetable to each meal. If you normally have sausages and mash, have sausages, parsnip/carrot or celeriac mash instead of potato mash,and a side of peas. Little things like that. If you have sugar in your tea, reduce it by half. These small changes do really work over time and are not as difficult to keep us as bigger changes.
With regards to emotional eating, maybe look at books by Paul McKenna, Marianne Williamson has one called Miracles in Weightloss which helped me. These books really help with changing the mindset which was a big change for me as I am an emotional eater.

IHaveSoHadEnoughNow · 19/02/2021 12:04

keeponkeepinon I have looked at intermittent fasting before and went as far as downloading an app, but didn't properly start Blush. I have heard very good things about it though!

Raining I think that has always been my problem- seeing it as a chore. Well done on your weight loss, that is fantastic. I am too trying to look at it as a healthy life style. Recently, I have been trying to make sure I have a little more time for me- just little things such as blow drying g my hair instead of leaving in wet and tied up on my head, painting my nails and taking more of an interest in skincare etc. I was hoping this might help with feeling more positive about myself.

Pancake I actually downloaded a Paul Mckenna audio book (gastric band one?) but didn't get round to listening to it (are we seeing a theme here?!)

I am also veggie, probably deficient in a lot of things and on fluoxetine for depression.

So, my plan so far:

I have been out for an hour walk this morning and bought some nice salad bits. I have already bought iron spray (easier to digest) and some multi vitamins but need to actually take them. I need to drink more water and move more as well... I have a crappy old cross trainer but it does still work, and a kettle belladonna dumbbells that I used to enjoy using once upon a time.

Aiming for 1500 calories a day on my fitness pal- do we think this is a good start?

OP posts:
IHaveSoHadEnoughNow · 19/02/2021 12:05

And thanks again to everyone who has posted. Really helps that I am not alone and people understand how hard this is

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 19/02/2021 15:50

Make sure you stock up on plenty of herbs and spices. I found taht making really tasty, as in much more flavour than before, food helped with satisfaction.
1500 is great start imo.
Get yourself some multivitamins too. And vit d. Everyone should top up vit d over winter, many over summer too.

RainingBatsAndFrogs · 19/02/2021 19:31

Aiming for 1500 calories a day on my fitness pal- do we think this is a good start?

Yes - it's a great start!

Well done going for a walk - at least the weather should be getting better now - so enjoy the signs of spring when you go out. My walks started to get longer and brisker, and now I really enjoy a good long walk. It has been a bit grim during some of the cold weather, but I can't wait for summer.

IHaveSoHadEnoughNow · 21/02/2021 09:48

Thanks everyone.

Had a food day yesterday- walked for around 5 miles (with some very uphill spurts) and tracked 1500 calories on My fitness pal. Aiming for another walk today as well.

I need to really try and do some dumbell and kettle bell workouts again as I used to enjoy these.

OP posts:
Tash6000 · 21/02/2021 14:33

Sounds like a great start but don't do too much all at once otherwise you'll burn out and lose motivation to carry on. Maybe stick to the 1500cals and a good walk and when they become the 'norm' add in the weights etc.
At my heaviest I was top end of 12st, at 5' 4. I then had kids and gestational diabetes so lost weight in pregnancy (so much easier to do when you know someone else's little life depends on a healthy diet!) After my 3rd pregnancy I was 10.8 stone but went up to 11.3 slowly over the 2 years post 3rd baby. On the 7th Feb (just after my 31st bday) I thought I ought to look after myself more just because I deserve it and want to be healthy/happy with how I look. So very slowly over the last few weeks I've changed just two things, eating 1200 calories a day or there abouts (sometime a little more and no food group restricted) and I've upped my dog walks from 1 two mile walk to 2 two mile walks and aiming for 100miles dog walking for Feb..currently at 76miles so should just hit my target! And in the process as of last weigh in last week I was 10st 12 so the weight is coming off, definitely getting more toned in my legs and loosing the muffin top! Most of all I'm enjoying my longer and quicker paced walks. Definitely helps put you in a positive frame of mind and actually I'm not too fussed about the scales as I just generally feel better in my self. So take it slowly and don't go all guns blazing, baby steps and expecting it to be a slow plodding process will help. Also, for once I feel a calm determination that I am going to do this for once and for all 🤷🏻‍♀️☺️

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