One year into my Unsuccessful diet (food diary included)

[weightloss21]

I'm looking for advice on where to go next as I feel I have hit a brick wall and not sure what else to try.

I'll try and make this as short but informative as possible.

I have always struggled with my weight. From last January I decided to track my food more carefully and start intermittent fasting by not eating breakfast and having black coffee instead. Within this time I have done the strict keto diet but didn't lose any weight.

Instead of going over every diet I have tried etc I will just write down my food diary more recently. Snacks can be from 0-3 per day and / means or.

More recently:
Pre - 2nd lockdown - work full time 5 days a week, on my feet all day job.
Breakfast = black coffee
Lunch = nothing/apple/babybell
Dinner = soup/stew/jacket potato/salad/meat&veg
Weekends = roast/spag bol/pasta etc - higher carb food

2nd lockdown - wfh sitting down most of the day. Upped exercise to 2/3 days a week (at home) either exercise bike or HIIT.
Breakfast = black coffee
Lunch = Salad/omlette/soup
Dinner = meat & veg/ fish & veg/ salad/ soup
Snacks = fruit/cup of tea,coffee,hot choc/babybell/boiled egg

Since last Monday (25th Jan) - reduced eggs as was eating a lot before.
Breakfast = black coffee
Lunch = Protein shake
Dinner = meat,fish & veg/ salad/soup
Snacks = apple,orange/sugar free jelly/teaspoon of peanut butter/cup of tea,coffee

I have a cheat meal once a week which usually consists of something like = lasagne/cottage pie/pizza/pasta and bowl of ice cream and a choc bar eg twix, mars bar etc

Since last January I haven't lost any weight. The first lockdown I didn't have a cheat meal but it didn't seem to make a difference (or I was losing it and then putting it back on).

My current meal plan isn't working so I am not sure where to go from here. Please do you have any suggestions/share your food diaries as I am at my wits end!!

Work out your BMR OP, and go from there I would, it's different for everyone, and as long as you remain below it you will be in deficit, but no need to be wildly under as you're more likely to be constantly hungry and tempted to binge or go for calorie dense foods. It sounds like you are actually really overthinking it, simple changes will give the biggest results.

Bulk out meals with veg is a good idea. For example, if you have spag bol (lean mince, simple tomato sauce made yourself), weigh out half a portion of pasta, and then add veg- tenderstem brocoli, courgette is really nice with it. If you like boiled eggs, have asparagus spears with it instead of toast and butter- still really tasty, and will be around 200 cals if you have one egg, but lots of goodness too! Find some high density low cal meals such as stir frys, so you're getting lots of food for the cals, but also the goodness as well.

Get familiar with calories, and find meals you like and either alter them to suit you, or as a PP has said PON has really lovely ones for under 400 Cal's- all fresh and unprocessed ingredients, pretty quick to prepare and reasonably priced. If you enjoy the food you are eating and don't feel you are 'depriving' yourself it'll be so much easier. Even some stuff like oat pancakes with blueberries are really nice for the calories.

You don't go below bmr. You go below tdee. The former is too low

If you were doing Keto then it wouldn't have been 500 calories.

Isn't the whole point point you don't need to track the calories?

I'm shorter than you but was a similar start weight.

If I ate 1200 calories a day of anything after my "normal" eating that got me to over 15 stone then the weight would drop off.

You have to have been either calorie counting wrong. (Were you weighing everything? Measuring correctly? Including drinks and snacks?)

Or doing Keto very wrong (did you use Keto sticks?)

I just see it as calories in vs calories out - so my 1200 goal a day isn't something to try and reach. I try and have as little as possible.
Some days I will just have 200/300kcals as I thought the fewer kcals you have the better.

@weightloss21

I just see it as calories in vs calories out - so my 1200 goal a day isn't something to try and reach. I try and have as little as possible. Some days I will just have 200/300kcals as I thought the fewer kcals you have the better.

It really isn’t.

You’re much better focussing on nutrition. Eating healthy, lean protein and veg based meals with measured portions of carbs.

If you were doing Keto then it wouldn't have been 500 calories.

No it wasn't it was around 1800-2000kcals a day which mentally I really struggled with but I cut out the breakfast completely and then would do the lower kcal meals. But I didn't lose weight which I thought it was because my body wasn't used to having so many kcals but it could be because I didn't do it right.

@weightloss21

I just see it as calories in vs calories out - so my 1200 goal a day isn't something to try and reach. I try and have as little as possible. Some days I will just have 200/300kcals as I thought the fewer kcals you have the better.

You are changing your numbers in here a lot op...

Are you ok? It's starting to sound like your relationship with food is not only bad, but probably dangerous. I think maybe speaking with someone professional, rather than us big mouthed randoms on internet😁 might be really good for you

Calories are not just about weight! They are energy to fuel all the processes in our body! Less is not more. If you were underweight and saying what are you are saying now, people would say you have an eating disorder. And you may very well (certainly half the people on this thread are borderline.....).

You need to reframe food, health and weight and get your priorities clear. I say this in the nicest way possible. I would probably also avoid weight loss forums.... do you really wanting to be counting calories and carbs for the rest of your life?

Look at stress and sleep too OP. Both play a role

You don't go below bmr. You go below tdee. The former is too low

I do need to look into this more as I didn't know there were different things to measure.

I really like the idea of focusing on nutrition and finding some high-density low-calorie meals.

You can either count carbs, or you can count calories. You cannot, and should not, count both at the same time.

You seem very confused with your eating habits and various ways of counting what you are consuming.

You have not had a "lifestyle change" at all. You seem to have an unhealthy relationship with food and, as PPs have said, that needs to be tackled first.

This thread is making me so sad. So much disordered eating disguised as healthy lifestyles.

OP, if you’re ready to get off the diet rollercoaster, look into Intuitive Eating (IE) and Health At Every Size (HAES). It’s so scary at first when you challenge the years/decades of ingrained diet culture and rules, but my God, it’s also freeing. I’m less than a year into it, so I’m relatively new, but I’m already feeling more peaceful and accepting, and I’m thankful that the brain space given over to counting calories, meal planning, agonising over every single thing I ate is now focussed on other, more enjoyable things.

do you really wanting to be counting calories and carbs for the rest of your life?

No way!
This is what really upsets me the most as I have struggled with my weight since I was young and nothing I do seems to make it better. And I will think back and remember saying to myself this time next year I will have lost a stone etc but it doesn't and I do feel I try hard.

Are you ok? It's starting to sound like your relationship with food is not only bad, but probably dangerous.

I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with food. The more I try and be healthy/lose weight the more unhealthy I become which is ridiculous!

@thenorthernluce

Yes, it’s so depressing. I don’t mean this as a criticism of the OP at all but the amount of brain space so many women give to the minutiae of their diets is depressing. And it’s not about health, it’s about weight. So sad.

I will definitely tackle my disordered eating habits first as it does have a massive impact on my life.

Off the top of my head - every morning and evening I will lie in bed and look through diet advice on my phone. I have been single for years (I'm 30). It rubs off on my DCs as they're not allowed junk food. And I can only have a period if I have my cheat meal around the time I am due on.

There's probably a lot more but I am so used to it that it's just normal and is only temporary until I find the 'right' diet. But that hasn't happened yet so I am obviously doing it wrong.

I do really appreciate all of the advice on here and everything that has been suggested. I do find it really helpful.

When I finally lost the weight it was down to simple healthy eating, in sensible portions, every day, combined with exercise. And I've kept it off for five years and counting.

I think advice like this is really useful.

Not many people on here actually share their own weight loss story - they just tell the OP what they think they should do. I wonder how many actually have done so themselves. It’s easy to tell others to do x y and z to lose weight and underestimate how hard it can be when you’ve never had to lose a substantial amount yourself.

Don't mix healthy and weightloss automatically. They are not mutual, as you can see. But they are also not mutually exclusive. 😉
Sometimes dieting is unhealthy, sometimes it is healthy. It wholly depends on your relationship with food.
You can loose weight on eating just crisps.

Important is to strike a balance. Your body NEEDS nutrients and fuel. It does. And it should be good nutrients and fuel. It's also your mind who likes it. Trust me that tasty, well spiced bowl of veg and chicken will make you happy with all the flavour and with all the goodness it gives you. So will half a pizza once in a while! Which too is ok to eat.

Food is not your enemy.

Not being able to get your period is the biggest red flag there is of undereating. I really hope you manage to find some peace with it all, OP. Maybe leave the diet boards and ignore all the rubbish about keto, ‘macros’ etc. Do you have daughters? How would you like them to feel about food when they grow up?

Yes @PerpetuallyUnderwhelmed, this is in no way a criticism of you, @weightloss21. Please don’t take it as that. But also, please know this doesn’t have to be your life. Think about your children and the subliminal messaging they’re receiving from their mum starving herself or giving her life over to restriction. You and they deserve so much more x

@weightloss21

I will definitely tackle my disordered eating habits first as it does have a massive impact on my life.

Off the top of my head - every morning and evening I will lie in bed and look through diet advice on my phone. I have been single for years (I'm 30). It rubs off on my DCs as they're not allowed junk food. And I can only have a period if I have my cheat meal around the time I am due on.

There's probably a lot more but I am so used to it that it's just normal and is only temporary until I find the 'right' diet. But that hasn't happened yet so I am obviously doing it wrong.

I do really appreciate all of the advice on here and everything that has been suggested. I do find it really helpful.

Nope. Read this instead😂 www.creepypasta.com/ Now you have something to fill that time 😁

And please see your doctor, because losing your period is not ok. I know it's hard to hear and harder to accept, but you may need to ask for proper help because you are probably having worse disordered eating, than you think. It's ok to ask for help! So please do.

Definitely see your doctor. If you’re eating as little as you say you are and not losing weight there is something else wrong.

And if you don't want to talk to your doctor for any reason, have a look here. Maybe there will be something or someone helpful to you
www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/support-services/helplines

I appreciate all of the kind advice on here.

I definitely don't want to be like this forever and definitely don't want it to rub off on my daughter.

I definitely have an unhealthy relationship with food but I struggle to see how people who are overweight can have an eating disorder. But I often look at people/countries who do have a healthy relationship with food and they always seem to be healthy. I will feel embarrassed going to see a doctor when there are people dying in the world but I definitely will look at the websites and books you've all recommended.

@CodenameVillanelle that's what has worked for me.

I don't spend tonnes of brain space on this stuff, the Op asked about it so that's why it was in my head! Since finding a way to eat healthily, regularly and nice food, I'm happy with my choices, and am not getting fatter and am moving more so for me, it's not about brain space and stress, but feeling and looking better.

OP, I would go to the GP if I felt so tired and exhausted and was eating so little and not losing weight.

Please don't feel embarrassed about seeing a doctor OP, an unhealthy relationship with food can result in weight gain or loss. I agree it's not often acknowledged that this is the case, but it absolutely is, and behaviour can be changed, it just takes the right support and time.