Why can't I stop eating?

[sunshinegirl28]

I am 4 stone overweight. I know what is healthy to eat. My mental health is good. I really want to be a healthy weight. Why then can't I stop eating sugary things however hard I try? Even if I don't store them at home I still am overtaken by an urge to buy out and about and can't stop. Why and what do I do? I have tried so many diets and want to lose weight so much but can't stop. Why?! Any advice for me?

They're addictive. We are programmed by millions of years of evolution to take on as much as possible of the easiest fuel we can, that will give us the best chance of storing some fat, so that we can make it through the lean times. That's carbs/sugar.

Also, the fat:carb ratio in most processed food is, calorifically, 2:1. This ratio occurs nowhere in nature, other than in breastmilk. We are a society of adult bouncing babies. Big food companies know about this ratio and use it deliberately so that we can't stop eating their products. It's the same for addictive sweet and savoury things.

Can you allow yourself just one thing a day, rather than tell yourself you’re not allowed anything and then sabotage that? eg. Buy a single cupcake to have in the house to look forward to , rather than a whole pack. Then build the rest of your meals around that. Don’t be too restrictive with calorie count- if you are too restrictive (eg 1200 cals) and cut out food groups like carbs or sugar, as soon as you see some of those things you will have this mindset like ‘i must eat all of it because i don’t know when the next time is i can have any’, and that’s when overeating happens. whereas if you aim for say 1750- 2000 cals a day including one treat a day for example, you should be in a deficit and you should lose weight slowly and steadily. Try it, then if you aren’t losing weight you can always reduce calories a bit further, but most people will lose on that amount. Don’t expect huge losses like some diets (will be 1/2 - 1 pound a week so 24-48 lb over the year) but you can finally say goodbye to yoyo dieting and the weight is far far more likely to stay off, and you won’t be miserable while doing it :)

I have to keep off sugar/simple carbs, and also make sure I have protein with every meal that helps keep the hunger pangs at bay.
If I fancy something sweet, I have some grapes or a piece of fruit.
It seems to be working as I’ve lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks. Logging my food in MFP, and weighing everything. It is a bit dull but it seems to be working.
Increasing my protein intake, avoiding sugar and weighing things to keep within my calorie goal is what has worked. Plus walking every day and never getting to a state when I’m starving hungry.
Hope you can find a way that works for you.

oops haha there are 52 weeks in the year 🤪 so you will loss like 26-52 pounds over the year (a pound of fat is roughly 3500 calories, so if you’re in a 250 calorie deficit a day you’ll lose a lb every fortnight, if you’re in a 500 calorie deficit every day it’ll be a lb a week

@Eckhart

They're addictive. We are programmed by millions of years of evolution to take on as much as possible of the easiest fuel we can, that will give us the best chance of storing some fat, so that we can make it through the lean times. That's carbs/sugar.

Also, the fat:carb ratio in most processed food is, calorifically, 2:1. This ratio occurs nowhere in nature, other than in breastmilk. We are a society of adult bouncing babies. Big food companies know about this ratio and use it deliberately so that we can't stop eating their products. It's the same for addictive sweet and savoury things.

This. It's not your fault, try to eat as many non processed foods as possible. Set no limits while you get used to it. Full fat dairy, unprocessed meat, veg. If you like bread go for fresh sourdough if you can. If you like sugary things make your own, I feel like no one gets fat from their own brownies. Stick them in the freezer so you can have one at a time. Remember these companies use psychology to make women especially, buy their products and they don't care about your health. Put yourself first. Try to include probiotic and prebiotic. First add all of the good things to your diet then it will be easier to cut out the ultra processed stuff

Also try to get off fizzy drinks as they're notorious for weight problems. Have some nice orange juice or full fat milk if you can.

I'm not an advocate for calorie counting and I think diets don't work long term. I think you should focus on putting wonderful food in your body. Think bircher muesli, roast chicken with lovely veg then a lovely salad for supper with lots of tasty things in. I promise your weight will follow.

And do this all gradually, your health is a lifetime project, and you deserve good health

I recommend reading the fuck it diet. It goes against everything everyone on MN says. Thinner does not mean better.

I can completely empathise with you OP. I've always had a savoury rather than a sweet tooth but when diagnosed as diabetic [before we knew all carbs were bad] I just craved sweet stuff because I knew I wasn't meant to have it !

The only way I could deal with it was seeing sweet foods as poison for me. It worked ~ bought a tin of Quality Street for the family for Christmas but of course they couldn't come down in the end. It's still unopened !!

You can and you will. It took me a while to realise that I am much more in control, or can be, than I thought.
The urge will pass. Don't have any at home. Ride it out. That's what I had to do with some food for couple of months. I had them once a week on certain occasion like afilm night. So I knew I will have it eventually, but not before. Maybe that can help?

@Friedbanana

oops haha there are 52 weeks in the year 🤪 so you will loss like 26-52 pounds over the year (a pound of fat is roughly 3500 calories, so if you’re in a 250 calorie deficit a day you’ll lose a lb every fortnight, if you’re in a 500 calorie deficit every day it’ll be a lb a week

This is old science, Fried. Nobody knows where the 3500kcal per lb of fat came from. No scientists, not the NHS, none of the major science and nutrition institutions. How many kcals are in a lb of my fat won't be the same as how many kcals are in a lb of your fat. Just like our bones have different consistencies, so I may get osteoporosis and you may not. And our muscles are built differently, so I may be able to get bulky like a weightlifter, whereas you might get toned like a distance runner.

Also, the human body is not a simple machine, where all calories do is control how much fat we have. A deficit of calories will cause the body to adapt to maintain itself on less. This will result in lesser functioning of systems (a different balance for everybody), which is why, when many people use 'calorie controlled diets', they get all sorts of symptoms (dry skin/hair, exhaustion, depression, fluctuating hormones, sleep disturbance etc ad nauseum)

Some people's bodies will decide to give up some fat as part of this process - many don't, which is why people get so frustrated when they try to lose weight via conventional methods.

It's certainly not the case that a 3500kcal deficit results in a lb weight loss. Why would the body choose to do that? It loves to have fat. It's like a savings account for it, and an insurance mechanism against hard times. The fact that we want to gain fat, and are able to store energy we consume for a later date, is the very reason we have survived to be what we are now. We evolved to do that, because those of us who didn't died when it got cold and there was no food.

We are now in a position where food companies provide us with an endless addictive cocktail of fat:carb, whilst we are still evolved to be lazy and greedy to ensure our survival.

Agreeing the multiple previous posters who state sugar is addictive, and that simple processed carbs (eg bread esp white, pasta etc) also cause blood sugar fluctuations/uncontrollable hunger.

Loads of books written on it... here is one
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2752095/

Get rid of all the sugary/white flour based products in your house, eat unprocessed food (esp veg), plenty of protein, whole grains if you like (eg brown rice, quinoa etc), and plenty of water. It doesn't have to be extreme - it can be modifying some of your favourite meals. Try that for a couple of weeks & see how you feel.

If you MUST have sugar, try fruit/berries etc. If you end up eating bread etc, just pick yourself up & move on - its easy with time to serve simple carbs

*swerve. Once you stop eating them you realise how they make you feel

I lost 4 stone by strict calorie counting, I had 1200 calories a day. Included in that was 1 small bag of crisps, quavers that kind of stuff and a "fun" sized bar of chocolate which I'd eat from frozen as it took longer to eat.
i kept a bag of them in the freezer. Without daily treats I could not have done it.

@sunshinegirl28

I am 4 stone overweight. I know what is healthy to eat. My mental health is good. I really want to be a healthy weight. Why then can't I stop eating sugary things however hard I try? Even if I don't store them at home I still am overtaken by an urge to buy out and about and can't stop. Why and what do I do? I have tried so many diets and want to lose weight so much but can't stop. Why?! Any advice for me?

Concrete advice: make it a rule during this lockdown not to go to any physical food shops, get a grocery order instead (unlike Spring, its really easy to get slots now so its not unethical, and is another way to reduce your exposure to the virus).

Order the right stuff, & within a few weeks you will have broken the habit. I work in the food industry: shoppers don't tend to buy the unhealthy stuff online as they are in less impulsive frame of mind

The more diets you've been on over the years, the harder it will be. Restriction causes bingeing however hard you try, that's why people yo-yo for years. It's not your fault you can't stop craving these things, it's natures way!

You need to change your relationship with food. Stop dieting as you know it.
Read The f*ck it Diet as someone mentioned above, or look up Rebelfit on Facebook. It's an eye-opener!

I used to be like this. I think for me it stemmed from barely being allowed any sweets when I was a kid so I went for it once I could decide for myself and then it became an addiction.

Only way I got over it was by going “cold turkey” on treats for a few months - no chocolate, cakes, biscuits or sweets. It was so tough to do, worse then giving up smoking even.

Once I had it out of my system I was able to gradually allow myself the odd thing, still making sure there was never a big multipack of anything that I’d be worried about gorging on. I can now enjoy these things in moderation and see them as treats that are ok to have.

Do you chew gum, ever, OP?

Just a thought. For when you know you're going near a place when you would usually cave.

I make chocolates, and have to chew gum while I'm doing it, otherwise I eat more than I produce!

Restriction causes bingeing however hard you try, that's why people yo-yo for years

No it's not. The body lowers its basal metabolic rate to cope with the drop in calories. Then when you go back to eating what you ate before, you store a greater proportion of it as fat, because your overall system has learned to run on less. You don't have to binge.

@Eckhart

Do you chew gum, ever, OP?

Just a thought. For when you know you're going near a place when you would usually cave.

I make chocolates, and have to chew gum while I'm doing it, otherwise I eat more than I produce!

Carefully on sweetener gums They may have unexpected and unpleasant toilet related effects if you chew A LOT

I could have written this. I don't have the answer

@Eckhart I love how you lay it out like that, and it makes sense to me

Some people are much better at storing fat than others, in the modern world that is a curse I guess

I do wonder though why so many people DO manage to maintain a healthy weight though, is that genetic? Is it something you can learn?(habits in childhood)?

@MrsBennettsSecretSon

I think some people are unlucky in what they learn in childhood. Lots of the stuff the diet industry spouts is simply believed, despite the fact that it's wrong. Even the food guidelines are wrong. We are being seriously misled and many are seriously frustrated, because they're doing 'all the right things' and it doesn't work. Biologically, it shouldn't work.

So, if you learn the wrong stuff when you're growing up, you're already on the train before you even know there's a train, if you see what I mean.

You can learn it though. You can change your basal metabolic rate yourself. You can decide how many kcals to eat, and you can decide what to eat to make up those kcals. None of it is rocket science. But nobody is teaching us properly.

Thanks to everyone for taking the time to reply. I think some of the things you have said make a lot of sense. Especially just trying to put good things into the body and trying to see sugar as poison. Sugar is a terrible addiction and I am sure life expectancies will shorten in the future because of it.