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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

How do you stop yourself?

25 replies

GreenNeedles · 07/01/2021 19:17

I seem to have zero willpower. And it’s like I rebel against myself too.

I made a hot chocolate earlier with full fat milk and squirty cream as a kind of finger up to myself.

What is that about??

Why isn’t my internal “willpower voice” louder than my “fuck it voice”?

Magic answers on a postcard please.

The worst of it is I look more and more like my mother as I get older and fatter. Which is very disturbing (we don’t get on) yet that still doesn’t seem to be enough to put me off scoffing whatever I can get my hands on.

I’m rolling my eyes at myself when I say I
“I’m determined to be in better shape this year”.

I know it’s ALL mindset, but I don’t seem to be able to get my head in the right place.

OP posts:
Freewheelingoryx · 07/01/2021 19:19

I'm the same op and I am beginning to look like my mother too! So blatantly place marking.

gamerchick · 07/01/2021 19:22

I track everything on MFP Even Christmas day so I could adjust the next week.

Amazing how everything adds up, but I gained nothing over Christmas/new year so it must work ok.

sofiaaaaaa · 07/01/2021 19:25

I feel a bit happier about life recently (2020 was my lowest point!) so have naturally been better with food as I have more to look forward too. Not as in dieting - but naturally eating until I’m satisfied rather than polishing everything off. Getting into a routine really helps. I am also vegetarian again, and vegetarian foods tend to be lower cal which helps

Original poster
GreenNeedles · 07/01/2021 19:28

I track using MFP too. I’ve a wonderful habit of doing it for breakfast then it all goes out the window for the rest of the day.

But how do you get your inner voice to tell you to NOT eat the crap and instead enjoy the healthy stuff. I’ve ignored fruit all week in favour of the kids snack drawer. I had extra garlic bread tonight at dinner. Then I look at my double chin on a zoom call, see my massive thighs and ever increasing tummy and regret it. But at the time I totally bullied away the angel voice saying “you shouldn’t” and instead listened to the “fuck it” devil voice.

I’m sure it’s something to do with short term gratification. But how do you stop it? How do you change those thought patterns??

OP posts:
Emelene · 07/01/2021 19:36

It is hard... maybe rewards for yourself for certain goals - not food related? New item of clothing etc

Also remind yourself why you are doing it and progress made so far. Make sure the changes feel sustainable?

Just my thoughts! All the best. Thanks

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/01/2021 19:36

You simply have to make yourself not do it. There is no magic to it. Everyone tried and failed and tried and failed and then got the head into it and didn't fail.

Or buy some weak chairs. Threats of diabetes? Heart issues? Nah. Nothing motivates better than creaking homewear.....🙈 (Bitter experience)

I have not Fat Me and Me. Fat me is a whiney bitch, Me is very much decided that there shall be not a single time I will have "Will that chair be ok" thoughts when looking where to eat out!

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/01/2021 19:38

maybe rewards for yourself for certain goals - not food related? New item of clothing etc
I do this with items i collect. It's a good excitement. But no cheating! No pre-buying. No purchase until the goal is achieved

GorgeousGoldies · 07/01/2021 19:38

My fuck it voice was always much louder than my willpower voice - I don’t think you can do anything in particular to override that, you just reach a point where you’re so pissed off with how you look and feel that the willpower wins.

Things that have helped me;

Sign up to a very rigid program (Low carb boot camp on here in my case) which involves a weekly weigh in

Asking myself if that particular treat is actually worth ruining my efforts for. Is a Tesco custard cream really that high value?

Telling myself that I will save that treat for my favourite scone at my favourite coffee shop (ha!) when I reach x. When it comes to that moment, I’m so pleased with my achievements that I don’t want to ruin it.

Plan, plan, plan and buy accordingly.

Don’t have treats you like in the house, buy the kids Jaffa cakes or something equally revolting 😆

Drink ALL the water

Thing is it’s so personal, you have to find what works for you. I don’t think there’s a magical willpower button sadly.

TopTabby · 07/01/2021 19:40

Have a read of The Fuck It Diet by Caroline Dooner, it will answer a lot of your questions. It's really changed my outlook on dieting & body image.

SquirtleSquad · 07/01/2021 19:41

I only buy treats/snacks for the kids and DH that I won't eat - for me that's anything with raisins inEnvy so they're having raisin chocolate cereal bars this week Grin

If I don't have "naughty" food in the house I can't eat it!

Barkybarkynutnut · 07/01/2021 19:42

Sounds like the self sabotage you are experiencing runs very deep. You talk about the relationship with ur mum as not being good? Could this factor in the way you behave around food? I only ask as it all sounds very familiar to my own experience

gamerchick · 07/01/2021 19:43

I’m sure it’s something to do with short term gratification. But how do you stop it? How do you change those thought patterns??

Lifting weights every morning. The 2 go hand in hand imo. It doesn't have to be weights but something that gets you sweaty. The reward from that on its own is better than any chocolate bar.

You also need to track absolutely everything. Seeing it all add up can make you hesitate on whether it's worth it.

scochran · 07/01/2021 19:46

If I manage healthy eating for just a couple of days I already feel better then can usually keep it up for a bit. It seems less overwhelming to take it in small chunks.
I haven't actually managed for ages though....

Freewheelingoryx · 07/01/2021 19:51

Op I have the same issue but could you try clearing your head and just focusing on that particular day? One day at a time. Rinse and repeat. And adopt the outlook of being kind to your future self by not eating fuck it foods. I know it's cheesy but it's the opposite of the punitive approach.

GorgeousGoldies · 07/01/2021 19:55

Agree with that scochran

The first couple of days are the wurst for hunger and cravings. If you can get through that, it becomes easier.

I’ve printed off a sheet with squares and I tick off each day that I complete in a healthy manner! A calendar of diary would work but I like the visual of this.

mommydragon · 07/01/2021 19:58

Before a meal or when I am considering having a snack which will stack up the calories, I always tell myself that this food will still be available tomorrow or the day after. This has helped me massively as there have been times when I have skipped eating the snack. I feel like I have regained the power. Same with takeaways, I eat till I feel full and leave the rest to enjoy in small portions the next day.

GorgeousGoldies · 07/01/2021 19:58

The ‘wurst’ 😂 Not a good typo on a diet thread

BobbinAround · 07/01/2021 20:02

Have you thought about using a hypnosis app?

There are a few around - the Virtual Gastric Band one, there's a FB group '12 Weeks to Wow' and Paul McKenna is also popular.

It's not about going on yet another diet but more about re-educating yourself to eat differently, stop emotional eating and think about food differently. The 'rules' are simple - only eat when you're hungry, only eat until you're no longer hungry, drink more water and move more.

Nothing is forbidden so you could have your hot chocolate but only if you're physically hungry (and you stop when you're no longer hungry).

oobedobe · 07/01/2021 20:04

For me strict denial is too hard. I have to have smaller versions of treats so I don’t feel deprived. My got to’s are mini kitkats, mini Mars bars, pop chips instead of full fat crisps.
But you still need willpower to not eat five of them!
I find if I have put the effort in to exercising then I don’t want to ruin it by over eating junk. It works most of the time.

Atomsaway · 07/01/2021 20:06

I told myself that I was ready to start on 4 Jan but whilst there is still Christmas chocolate in the house, I just cannot get in the mindset.
I don’t really have any other answers but clear the house of any food that you will sabotage with.
I feel your pain!

JayeAshe · 07/01/2021 20:12

Your hands bring food to your face.

Control the hands and you control your intake.

Sounds nuts? It's pure logic.
The muscles that power your hands are controlled by your conscious brain.
Take control of your hands.

Take

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/01/2021 20:14

This is actually the only time "take back control" is nkt only acceptable, but also a good motto😂

JayeAshe · 07/01/2021 20:15

Sorry for the stray 'Take' there Blush

SchrodingersImmigrant · 07/01/2021 20:17

I would recommend not having triggers home. I couldn't have crisps home for few weeks. Only bought them for the day off to have with a movie (kind of taking it back to how I eat when child). Several months in and I got over the crisps so much so that I had 4 sharer bags in a cupboard because I kept forgetting and buying new ones, but didn't eat them some weeks😂

Givemeabreak88 · 07/01/2021 20:19

I’m struggling because I have 4 children so when I see them having crisps or biscuits I have to practically drag myself away from stealing them 😂

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