Over eaters anonymous

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

Does anyone use this?

I'm on the NHS weight management system - I've done the behavioural classes and seen a psychologist. BMI is about 38. I've been trying to lose weight for 30 years.

I am FULL of good intentions - and, actually, I do well for half a stone, and then life gets in the way and it goes back on with friends.

I use food to manage my stress, and there is a lot of stress related to family illness which is not resolvable.

What I need is surgery, the stats for losing weight in someone like me is little to none. However, I know I'd find a way to binge - my problem is my stress and sadness, not hunger.

So, I found OA online. Anyone used it?

I've read up on OA but not gone to a meeting (or online now). How did you start the NHS programme? For me I eat my emotions - it's hard to get the division between eating for fuel and not coz of how I feel. Have you read 'On Eating' by Susie Orbach? Has some interesting ideas re intuitive eating.

The NHS programme is painfully slow in my area.

I spoke to my GP, pointed out that with 30 years of effort I'd only achieved gaining 5 stones and that I met the criteria for a referral to the NHS pathway. I waited a year for the triage, and another year to see a psychologist and start the classes. It's groups exploring, basically, mindful eating and mood management, stress management and binge cycles. It was better than I expected - but, covid paused it.

Have successfully not gained weight. I have better stress management. I move more. I am still fat with high blood pressure. I don't actually believe I can lose weight - weekly sessions are too far apart, I'm all keen for two days and then go back to habits without even thinking about it.

So, maybe OA would be good. I'm not sure that I'd call food an addiction, but, my stress management and my negative self talk is dire.

There is a local group, currently online. They meet in the week, but, there is a new person group (based in the States) this weekend. I might lurk on that.

A daily pep talk might be helpful until I can change my mindset. Without that I am going to need to accept that I will die of fatness. Fucking ridiculous.

Would be very interested in how you progress Op. I'm also looking for such a group. Did NHS behavioural and list about a stone but my issues are deeper. I do believe I have a food addiction like someone is addicted to alcohol.

OA, I think, has a recommended eating plan which includes cutting out white flour and sugar.

Im over 40bmi but hopeful I can kick this. Im terrified of surgery as I think if my problems are psychological then I'll still be ill after.

I havent managed to get help from the dr in the past but looking at the new healthier you thing. However what I would love is access to a psychologist for a period of time. Any other self harming condition seems to get intensive help.

Ahat is the nhs behavioural? I think if i lost a stone it would be a start... (but 10 to go 🙄)

Ok, well, that was interesting. I did an online OA meeting - it was in USA at their early morning.

There was a lot of welcoming and gratefulness and reciting of mantras. LOADS of them reported losing loads of weight, well, rather they say that they "gave it away" because if you lose something you want to find it again, which made me smile.

"we are not a diet club" was quite clear.

They said to keep an open mind and to try different meetings to see if it helps, that they recommend 6 meetings before really starting. They were all different shapes and sizes and ages and it seemed to go to great lengths to be inclusive. Not everyone was an overeater, some had anorexia or bulimia or exercised compulsively.

I didn't speak, not sure what I would have said anyway, and to be honest, hearing people say "you matter" makes me choke up a bit.

Then there was a meeting, where there was a reading, and people used the little hand function on zoom to say they wanted to share. That was limited to 2 mins. Loads of people spoke, and much of what they said felt very familiar.

I guess the whole thing took about an hour and a half, but I think the actual meeting would have been about an hour.

One woman said "I divorced myself from my body" which appears to be very succinct.

I think Ill try a few more meetings online and see what happens. I need to do something and I can do a zoom session.

www.oa.org has podcasts and a list of questions.

Thanks Op. going to try it too

Following out of interest. Pre COVID I tried to find a UK group but there aren't many. A Zoom meeting might be interesting though.

There are loads of meetings which have gone online, plus I think one 7-8am (GMT) daily which is exclusively online.

I tried it once but I couldn't get on board with the sponsor idea and the having to make the inventory.

Following an incident last week when I ate 5 packets of crisps and 3 bars of chocolate as well as all my normal food in one day I have decided to abstain from compulsive eating again and will probably try to find an online meeting to attend.

I think.its an excellent organisation because it freed me from the misery of yoyo dieting/ overeating.

I don't understand what a sponsor is. I'll ask, obviously, but, I think they are saying that it is how ti works - I think you might have to phone them when you are reaching for the crisps?

I think lurking on online meetings might be ok for me for now.

I am having a big crash of mood about this - no idea how I'll cope with stress if not with lard! I feel a bit panicked, which is just silly.

It's someone who supports you in your recovery. A sort of go to.person. I suppose I've been too long in the frame of mind of slimming groups where you went to one meeting then managed by yourself for the week.

Btw when I started my first slimming class 30 years ago I was 5 and a half stone lighter than I am now! I have by no means got it sorted but happy to hang around and chat

About coping with stress. The one day at a time mantra means you think I've only got to get through today.

Tomorrow is another battle that you never think about

I tried it but also didn't get on with daily checking in with a sponsor and the 12 step process. It's brought up some difficult stuff for me which I'm grateful for because I've been able to address it.
Abstinence is much more difficult to define in relation to food I think. Good luck OP.

Thanks, Bonnie. I think I went to the same slimming group as you, certainly got the same weight gain.

Abstinence is an odd concept when it comes to food, Alphae. I can't understand it yet, most people seem to mean they avoid a particular food because it leads to bingeing. I could binge on chickpeas - it's not a particular food, rather the feeling of being numb because I'm stuffed full that I'm seeking. I think.

It's certainly got me thinking more constructively about weight and why I self sabotage. And there are some inspiring people - but there's a LOT of assumed knowledge too. The website is pretty comprehensive.

I'll lurk on another meeting later on today, I'm quite curious about it. It certainly doesn't feel shaming, which SW definitely did to me (other slimming brands are available for your shaming needs)

Abstinence in OA terms isn't exclusinh a specific food group. It's abstaining from disordered eating.

I'm on day 4 of abstinence from compulsive eating. This thread has come at the.right time for me. I had a piece of cake tonight and I dont feel guilt or failure. I still feel quite anxious about getting through the evenings without constant snacking though.

Still not keen on signing up for a meeting though

Oh, thanks Palavah - that makes sense.

Well done, Bonnie, that's great and I'm glad you enjoyed your cake. Did you get one of the books to get started then?

I'be been to a couple of online meetings now. Am eating badly though - bit of a last chance saloon issue. Tomorrow my local OA is meeting online, so, I guess I start tomorrow.

You can lurk on the meetings, Bonnie. You can go with no video and no mic.

I've been to a real one in the past so I have some stuff to read.

Good to know I could lurk. I might try that.

Sorry to hear you eating.badly. it's so hard isnt it. Hope you get support tomorrow

I think I was just having a last splurge. I always did that - the night after weigh in at whatever-terrible-diet-club-I-was-wasting-my-money-on-that-month I'd go home via the chippy. In fact, it was practically a club outing, they made a fortune from fatties on a Tuesday.

I do feel more positive. It think hearing other people's stories has done something. I found an OA app too, and while I don't particularly want to be keeping information like that on my phone (you can fill in a diary on it) the ticker to show abstinence is a good idea.

So, apparently, I have been abstinent for one day and one hour. Go me.

Have a lurk and see what you think. I found a meeting in Japan, but speaking in English. I quite fancy that, it will feel like travel!

Well done on the abstinence so far. I used to have the last minute splurge too. Will never do diets again. I think they've been half my trouble

Does it cost money?

Bot sure how online meetings work. With the physical meetings you just give a donation - no set amount

No, blubber they suggest that you donate to your local one if you can once you commit, but there aren't any fees.

It seems to be entirely run by people who are giving their time because they believe it works.

I'm liking the "ODAAT" thing. Today has been a good day. So far, I'm not asleep yet. The one time I haven't eaten is when I'm asleep. So far.