Motivation when not losing weight

[waltzeswithsnobs]

I have a new plan. I'm going to stick to my diet for another three months and if I still haven't lost any weight I am going to the doctor. Does anyone have any tips or advice for keeping motivation up when nothing is happening?

I started trying to lose weight two and a half years ago, after having my second child. For the first six months I didn't lose any weight but I did get smaller. Since then, nothing!! For just shy of two years now I've been plugging away, following a calorie-and macro- controlled diet and an exercise plan comprising of lots of heavy resistance training, cardio and HIIT. I can't understand why I'm getting nowhere. It's hard to keep working hard at something that's not working for you so that's why I'm asking for help on how to keep going for the next three months. Or if anyone wants to commiserate I'd be relieved to find that I'm not alone!

Getting smaller but not seeing a change in the scales can be weirdly frustrating. But at least you know its doing something! It sounds like you were doing enough exercise to build muscle as well. That makes relying on the scale harder.

What usually motivates you with other tasks/hobbies? For example at work what keeps me focused is relying on data - so most days I focus on getting 10,000 steps and eating at a deficit (and tracking the numbers to make sure I do). Closing the rings on my fitbit app and keeping up my streak on myfitnesspal is what motivates me because I am ridiculously competitive with myself.

What would it take for you? An accountability buddy? Progress pictures that perhaps you keep track of on an Instagram (private or not)? Watching youtube videos of people on similar journeys? Etc.

How much do you weigh now and how much are you trying to lose? It does seem odd if you are eating at a deficit but not losing anything.

Brimful, that's a good way to look at it, but really I don't feel like I've ever experienced this before. There's nothing I've ever tried to do but got nowhere for a long period of time. Like if I were trying to learn how to drive or trying to learn a new language and, after some initial success at the beginning, completely failing to improve my skills despite working really hard and having four lessons a week. Anything else I can think of that I've ever attempted I have improved in line with the time and/or effort.
I have taken progress pictures. Once a month for the six months, after that I stopped seeing any difference so I decided I'd do one every three months instead but, as I still don't see any difference, I've kinda given up now because it's just frustrating.

For an accountability buddy I have DH. We go to the gym together four days a week (obviously it's closed at the moment) and we decide what to eat based on calories/macros. I talk to him about my frustration and he says he can't understand it either! He sees me at the gym and how hard I'm working, he sees what I eat at home and how much and no binging on biscuits at night 🤷‍♀️

I can't find anyone in a similar situation to see how they did it, everyone else seems to try to lose weight and lose it. I guess the people trying and failing maybe just aren't putting their story out there.

Loseastone, I am 84kg (at 5ft 4) and I don't have a precise number in mind but was 65kg before having my second child.

I am sorry, but you are just not in a deficit. You are missing something somewhere. Some bits are easy to miss but add up. What calories are you on now? Do you eat exercise calories?

Make sure not to give up on the gym though, no matter how demotivated to lose! Gym makes massive difference physically and mentally.

Before I lost weight I was overweight for a long time. Like you, I was about 20 kilos overweight. I also thought I was eating well and couldn’t work out why I wasn’t losing weight. The truth was that I wasn’t in a deficit. Mostly this was because I was not exercising every day and the days I didn’t, I was extremely sedentary. On those days I only burned about 1600 cals which was less than what I was eating. On other occasions, I would binge-eat but then I’d tell myself it was okay because I was starting again the next day. Altogether it meant I was not in a deficit. Now I make sure to walk at least 10000 steps per day and not to go over the number of calories I burn each day. My Fitbit is invaluable for this because it tells me my TDEE.

Agree with pp, if you aren't losing weight you simply aren't in a calorie deficit.

Go back to weighing and recording every single ingredient in every single meal you eat and you will soon see where you are going wrong.

That's really strange OP. If you don't mind, could you give an idea of your height and weight, what you typically eat in a day and a typical exercise plan?

Yeah I guess it's possible that I'm eating too much. I was on 1,200 for the first year and a half. Then, after reading Fat Loss Forever I tried reverse dieting and got up to 1,600 calories without putting on any weight. I'm afraid to go any higher though with the gym shut.

I certainly don't eat back exercise calories, I don't even try to count exercise calories.

@SchrodingersImmigrant I find the gym is actually catastrophic for my mental health!! Our gym is closed now for six weeks anyway.

@loseastonein21years I'm 84kg, 5 ft 4 and I eat 1400 cals a day - 180g Protein, 100g Carbs and, as for exercise, up until the gym closed I was doing - Day 1 upper body hypertrophy - Day 2 lower body hypertrophy Day 3 upper body hypertrophy - Day 4 lower body hypertrophy Day 5 upper body strength Day 6 lower body strength Day 7 upper body strength Day 8 lower body strength. Bench press, incline bench press, bent over row, cable row, hammer curl, EZ bar curl, shoulder press, assisted pull up, tricep extensions, barbell squat, Romanian deadlift, dumbell lunges, standing calf raise, tib raise, deadlifts, and then for cardio sled pushes, med ball slams, assault bike, rowing machine and I also do taekwondo three or four times a week but I have just started taekwondo a few weeks ago.

Thanks to everyone for your replies. It does seem like 'you're eating too much' is the obvious answer but I've gone as low as 1,100 and still got nowhere. I've been told that for the workout I'm doing 1,200 is just not enough, I won't have the strength to lift heavy enough on such low calories. I also paid for a session with a nutritionist who said she'd rather see me on 1,800 calories!!

I think people, at least I did, meant that you are eating too many calories which you don't count. Not that you are eating too much in general. Because with all that workouts you would be losing on 1200. You shouldn't go below that.

Like @schrodingers said, could it be possible you're not counting all your calories? For example calories in anything but water? The oil you cook your food in? Grams of pasta, rice, cheese, nuts? Food you nibble while you cook?

I don't think it's possible to be eating 1400 and doing that much exercise at the weight you are and not losing weight.
Have you tried using a different calorie tracker? Cronometer is supposed to be quite accurate. My fitness pal has loads of inaccurate entries.

I'm sure I've read here before that there's a point where you should eat more for a while, because your body is in long term starvation mode and trying to cling to every calorie - so eating more for a while helps it reset. But I've never understood it.

Yes, I do enjoy ketchup and also chilli sauce. I must add that in. I do already keep track of teas (for milk) and coffees (milk and sugar)

See, like tablespoon of ketchup is about 20 cal. This is what I mean by missing small bits. Miss 5 small bits like this and you have a 100 cal unaccounted for.

I was astounded at how much oil calories I was using even though I barely used oil! Sunflower oil has 126 cal per tablespoon. 126!

I got measuring spoons to learn sizes because my idea of 10ml was fundamentally different to what actual 10ml looks like

What I did for the small things and not having to measure my milk in a coffee, I simply took of 100 cal a day for these and negligibles. It wouldn't work for everyone, but it works for me. I barely know my name when I wake up, no way I could measure a milk without having a breakdown😂

I like that idea