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A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

Honey Ross - bit hard on her parents??

51 replies

Muser314 · 26/08/2020 22:25

Honey said herself that she was a teenager who hated her body. They were trying to help her hate her body less. And I'm sure they didn't tell her to aim for 9 stone. I cannot imagine jane (from what little I know about her) thinking that a woman has to be thin to have a good sense of herself.

Describing her parents approach as toxic (which I think she was basically doing) is a bit harsh. They didn't want to stand back and do nothing when she was unhappy and hated her body.

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtains · 26/08/2020 22:30

I read the Mail Online article and think what she said might have been taken a tad out of context. That is, her parents knew she 'hated her body' and suggested diets, and Honey Ross described diets as toxic?

I think it must be terribly difficult being the child of celebrity parents tbh.

If she has been out-of-contexted, it won't help anyone.

Akindelle · 26/08/2020 22:39

She was obese, unhealthy and unhappy so they tried to help her change that and now she’s slating them for it. If my child was that size I would also encourage weight loss because I wouldn’t want to see them suffer - I don’t think that makes me a bad person. Judging by the photos of her that have been published, and the comments she has made, she clearly has a lot of problems surrounding her weight.

Original poster
Muser314 · 26/08/2020 22:43

yes, it's very difficult to get it right. It would have been irresponsible as parents to focus ONLY on loving yourself no matter how great the weight gain.

OP posts:
worldweary45 · 26/08/2020 23:16

You've got to love a bit of press spin

In the interview she said that diet was a solution to a problem she took to them -so she told her parents she was upset because of her weight and they suggested losing weight as a solution

She says she was the one sticking to it and that she was very good at doing so

I took the same problem to my parents at the same age -their solution was to tell me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, we are all different, and I was just made big

This had the impact of making me feel like I wasn't being listened to. It gave me a warped sense of pride about how much I could eat. It made me secretive about eating. It led to a weight problem lasting over 20 years

I don't blame my parents, they were doing their best

Parents can't do right for doing wrong sometimes!

Original poster
Muser314 · 27/08/2020 04:54

Yeh it is hard to know for sure what the right way to handle it is. Your parents took the view honey thinks her parents should have taken, but you dont look back on that as the right approach.

I dont know what a parent is supposed to do really.

My daughter complains to me she is fat but gets defensive if i suggest cutting out biscuits and chocolate. Then she says "so you do think im fat?" Her weight is bothering her, but she wants to deal with it by moaning "im fat" to her friends and family and they all feel obligated to say "no no no you're not fat!". She is in the overweight category now, just. Bmi 26
I dont bring it up now. I dont buy crap food but we live on a road with a sipermarket and a mini supermarket. She goes out with friends too..
I tell her it is in her control and she says all diets fail. I ssy not eating biscuits is not a diet per se. It is just a fact of life that you csnnot eat what you want to excess is you would rather not be overweight. I see it as a logical consequence really. I want her to see that she cant use other people to support a delusion. Ie, all this bringing it up "im fat" but then getting upset and angry with me if i answer any way other than "no no you're not fat!!". It is a tightrope.

OP posts:
Loseastonein21years · 27/08/2020 06:35

Instead of trying to tackle her weight to reduce the inevitable health problems that result from being morbidly obese, she has jumped head first into the fat acceptance movement. I hope she gets a wake up call at some point because the FA movement is toxic and dangerous and advises people that they can’t do anything about their weight and should just remain obese.
Blaming her parents is dumb but she’s said some other pretty dumb stuff that I’ve seen so I’m not surprised.

silentpool · 27/08/2020 07:19

Unfortunately she is dangerously overweight and as she gets older, it will get harder and harder to lose. What she can't see is the damage that she is doing to her joints etc. I don't think her parents meant to be unkind but she will have poor health if she continues and I'm sure they are worried about that.

TitianaTitsling · 27/08/2020 07:22

Is this the same daughter that also 'publically shamed' JR by daring to agree with jk Rowling? Is it really all just about boosting a public profile?

InsaneInTheViralMembrane · 27/08/2020 07:23

I think Johnathan and Jane have both struggled with their weight and I’m sure their approach wasn’t toxic.

Toxic would be more like my father walking me up (aged 7) to carry a bucket around the house to indicate how overweight I was... or maybe my mother telling me I’d never get a man (heavens!) if I were fat. Or not buying me any clothes except school uniform.

Honey needs to get a job and jog on (no pun intended).

HermioneMakepeace · 27/08/2020 07:26

The family lived near us when we lived in London and, although, I didn't know them, we had a few mutual friends. My best friend also dated Jane's dad. This was when all the children were small. From what I heard, they were wonderful parents. Very supportive, not at all pushy, and very much 'be who you want to be'. I am sure anything they did was to try to help.

Original poster
Muser314 · 27/08/2020 07:28

Fat Acceptance is like pushing water uphill I fear. She will get angry that this cause is never really accepted. It is futile to try and force other people to change their views on fatness. Jmo, but she would be wiser to see that other people are other people and will have their own views on fatness. She should check back in with herself first and foremost. Does she really accept it.

I see in my teenage daughter a go to coping mechanism of wailing "im faaat" and then getting angry and upset with any answer that isnt "no you're not".

I am not doing it any more. I am going to go down the middle road tightrope. "It is in your power to lose a bit of weight if that's what you decide but it is your choice, you arent obligated to be slim!".

Landmines. Landmines.

OP posts:
CeibaTree · 27/08/2020 07:32

I think it says a lot about her character that she is trying to throw her parents under the bus for publicity. She may have been quoted out of context with the toxic remark, but what parent faced with a morbidly obese child who told them that they hated their body wouldn't try to help by suggesting weight loss might help? She comes across as an ungrateful brat who doesn't seem to have grasped that the only reason she is getting any airtime is because of her famous parents, not because of any innate talent of her own.

Original poster
Muser314 · 27/08/2020 07:34

@insaneinTheviralmembrane yes, it's not like J&J have all the answers to the obesity issues in today's society.

I do think honey she was probably misquoted a little but interviewer might have picked up on who she blamed. Our parents shape who we are but only up to a point. My parents completely invalidated me and called me sensitive and emotional and paranoid whenever i was upset, but i have not let their perception of me be my perception of me.

OP posts:
JacobReesMogadishu · 27/08/2020 07:36

I wonder if she still feels the same about her body? The article said she’s a model so I wonder if that’s helped.

But yes, it did come across as harsh to her parents.

Original poster
Muser314 · 27/08/2020 07:36

@ceibatree yes she is not doing herself any favours. She is only 23 and i was not very mature at 23 but you are right about how she is coming across imo

OP posts:
Magicbabywaves · 27/08/2020 07:43

I had a read of what she said and I agree it was taken out of context by the papers. (Surprise surprise). I find the FA movement fascinating.

InsaneInTheViralMembrane · 27/08/2020 07:46

@CeibaTree she did it the other month when her dad came out as Gender critical. He came back a day later full of having “been educated”. Seems to be a lot of capitulation going on - I suspect (reading between the lines) - they’re walking a tightrope for the sake of her mental health. 😔

SilkCashmere · 27/08/2020 07:48

Jonathan isn't the only family to have been in showbiz, his brother and mum were not the thinnest of people. I understand one of the children had a late diagnosis on the autistic spectrum, could neuro difference make brain to stomach understanding of fullness difficult, diet planning or choices a struggle?

Bakeachocolatecaketoday · 27/08/2020 08:42

[quote Muser314]**@ceibatree* yes she is not doing herself any favours. She is only 23 and i was not very mature at 23 but* you are right about how she is coming across imo[/quote]
She's seeming very snowflake-y...yeah-but-no-but-yeah, teenagerish.

I don't like my body, then my parents told me to DIET - my god diets are toxic etc etc....

Unfortunately there is a very simple answer she doesn't seem to be able to get her head around (and I blame the media for this!). If you are a healthy weight, you look better and feel better.

There is a massive amount in the media about plus-size models owning their body, happy with their size, without the reality that they corseted within an inch of their lives and Photoshopped to have that slim smooth look on a fatter body.

She's been sold a lie, that she can be fat, look good and be happy. And she's cross with her parents.

rookiemere · 27/08/2020 09:22

It's such a clickbait story, I almost felt ashamed for reading it. It's sad that her DPs can't tell her that the only reason she's getting publicity is because of them, but clearly it's good fodder for the tabloids.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 27/08/2020 09:34

I haven't read any of the articles but have seen the headlines.

Everything negative I feel about this person has nothing to do with her size or weight and everything to do with her attitude. She only has a name for herself because of her parents. The life she is attempting to carve out for herself (accompanied by provocative pictures) as an Instagrammar/influencer/social commentator is just empty, meaningless, morally redundant, pointless and pathetic. Heaven forfend she would do an ordinary paid job. She's Honey Ross don't you know? The girl who is ready to mouth off everywhere and shut her own father up in the process. Will she (and others like her) ever be woke enough to really examine themselves?

Oryxx · 27/08/2020 09:34

So her teenage self went to her parents upset because she was overweight and is now moaning that her parents suggested eating less. FFS. Hmm

What did she want her parents to do?I’m really curious as to what she thinks would have been the ‘right’ approach. Should her parents have told her that her weight was fine and that she didn’t need to lose anything? But isn’t that gaslighting in a way?

Being overweight is not just an alternative body shape as the FA movement suggests. Fat doesn’t just sit there doing nothing. It is metabolically active. Excess weight hugely increases your chances of dying from all sorts of diseases. It put pressure on your joints. Honey may not care about these things at the age of 23 but she will as she gets older.

SoManyActivities · 27/08/2020 09:51

Yeah, she comes across as quite unpleasant really. Publicly slagging off her parents (who are the sole reason she even has any sort of platform) twice in the space of a couple of months?

I don't know about the whole Fat Acceptance movement. Its such a difficult line to tread. Yes young people are bombarded with unattainable photoshopped pictures which make them feel like shit. But I don't think the answer is to just promote getting as big as you want to. If you are obese at 23, and Honey Ross's audience will overwhelmingly be very young women, then it is going to be a struggle forever, and I don't know if that is something we should be celebrating?

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 27/08/2020 10:02

I think Honey has a lot of growing up to do...

MaitlandGirl · 27/08/2020 10:18

It makes quite uncomfortable reading and as a fat woman I don't understand the whole 'fat is healthy' movement. No it's not, it can't possibly be. Surely as parents we have a duty to ensure our children are as healthy (both physically and mentally) as possible.