Disordered eating - gross but I have just stood over the bin chewing cake and spitting it out

[DogsAreTheShizz]

Just what it says, I'm disgusted at myself. I go out for dinner and enjoy myself and then spend the rest of the week "punishing" myself and "making up for it." I frequently eat 700-1000 calories per day, eat from small bowls/plates, virtually starve until dinner time, obsessively weigh food and count calories, weigh myself every day and am always on a fad diet.

This is a real low point as it's just disgusting. I'm disgusting. I never seem to lose weight but think I have unrealistic expections maybe? Im 9 stone and 5 ft 4in. I would like to be 8 stone. I think the problem lies with me and not my weight. How do you move away from such an unhealthy relationship with food?

First step is recognising you have a disordered relationship with food, which you've done. Honestly I would suggest counselling to help you figure out where this has come from and what you can do. Finding someone that specialises in food related difficulties is important.

It does sound like counselling would help. Have you ever read Fat is a Feminist Issue? You might find it helpful to try and get out of your current mindset :)