How to help my friend?

[Ndkckenwlsn]

I have a friend who is obese, she has high blood pressure and her weight is really starting to affect her health. She goes running quite often to keep healthy which I admire her for. The problem is her meals (that she always posts on social media) are ridiculous. For breakfast she will have a bagel with butter and ham, for dinner she will have a sub sandwich with crisps then for tea will have a dinner piled and she says wow only 800 calories for this. She also mixes the wrong type of food like she has potatoes, pasta and rice together or tuna mayo sandwich with three slices of ham and chunks of cheese on her salad. She generally thinks she is healthy eating. I don’t want to make her upset but she is only getting bigger as a result of this stupid amount of food. She is getting married next year and I know she is petrified that her wedding dress isn’t going to fit her. How can I say (or should I not) that her portions and what she is eating is doing her no favours.

if she hasn't asked you for help then say nothing, do nothing. its counterproductive to interfere anything you say or do could make her less likely to get this under control.

if she raises the subject eg mentions being worried about her size at her wedding, it would be ok to say something like "I know it's none of my business so I will only say this once and won't raise the subject again, but if you would like me to help you get your eating rebalanced I would love to help you"

if she asks for help then suggest some easy to follow rules e.g. making sure she focuses her eating on plenty of fresh vegetables with only small amounts of other food groups. no more than 200 calories a day from high fat foods like cheese etc, portion control by using smaller plates. but whatever she does has to be instigated by her if it is going to work- you cannot jump-start this process yourself.

if shes not asked for help then dont offer it unless you want to be an ex friend, she will take it as critisism

I’m really intrigued by the potato, pasta and rice meal.

Agree with others that you shouldn’t say anything unless asked. The problem is that she’s eating too much rather than what she is eating. You can eat carbs and still lose weight. A few years ago I decided to do a half marathon and hoped that regular running would help me drop the pounds. I think I actually gained weight because I was eating so much. Exercise is great and really important for weight loss but it will do nothing unless she’s in a caloric deficit.

It sounds like she talks about her weight quite a lot so you will have an opportunity to talk to her about it. I never mentioned it to any friends. Thankfully none of them brought it up with me either.

I think the only possible way to help without offending her is by raving about a suitable book on nutrition. In a - you have to read this kind of way - maybe one following the Mediterranean diet. Or if you're using a really good meal planner app that suggests tasty recipes. I mean it's clear she hasn't a clue what a balanced diet looks like at all. Its very likely she is addicted to carbohydrates especially if she's eating so many at once but getting her to see that could be tough without causing offence.