Battle with binge eating....

[SpideyMom]

Hey

Just wondering if anyone has this same battle too? This may even belong in a different subject, i dont know. But it's overpowering me at the moment and making me feel so miserable.

I am 34 and over the years have posted similar threads here and have had temporary success. But lately I cant seem to keep it under control and it's making me feel shit.

Like many others, lockdown has caused abit of a weight gain. Only half a stone, so now I am weighing 10 stone 4. I know this doesn't sound like a bad weight at all, and its not. But its heavier than I was when I was pregnant full term. I want to be about 9 stone ideally. Ive been stuck at 9.10 for ages and now I'm over 10 stone.

Why is this a problem? Because I feel like food is controlling me. Stuck in a cycle of starving and then binging. And once I start its almost like I go into a frenzy thinking fuck it may as well carry on and do until i hate myself.

In my teens I suffered with anorexia but from my 20s ive struggled with binge eating. I should be huge, but feel I am not due to starving and then binging. The amount i can eat is shocking. Easily a minimum of 2000 calories in less than 15 minutes
but in a day i can easily eat more. This isn't every day though .

Since March ive felt a lump in my throat. Had a camera and nothing was seen but its got worse and doctors no longer want to know. I am eating to comfort it. Its the only time I dont really feel it. So of course i am eating and then feeling ashamed of myself.

In all truthfulness I dont care so much about the weight, but splitting 2 pairs of jeans lately hasn't helped how I feel about myself. I hate i have no control over myself. I hate that food is my comfort and I can't seem to find a level ground where I can enjoy something and simply enjoy it and it not trigger me gorging.

Does anyone else suffer?

I think it's really about breaking the habit. I have a LOT of weight to loose, but the change in circumstance over lockdown has helped me to stop my binge eating, and I've managed to to loose 2.5 stone so far.

Because I'm not doing the same things, and in the same place as before I've accidentally created a new routine and rather than think of myself as going on a diet I decided to 'eat like a normal person' so 3 normal meals a day and no snacking and it's been easier to do because nothing else is like it used to be.

So maybe distraction, and creating a new routine might work. Worth a try, good luck.

I have had similar issues, OP. I have always been slim due to starving myself as well as binge eating! But it's an ingrained behaviour I really want to crack. For me, lockdown has helped as I am not alone so I haven't had the opportunity. I'm also trying to think about nourishing my body with nutritious food rather than restricting myself by 'not eating XYZ'. I found this podcast helpful: www.stitcher.com/podcast/kirstin-sarfde/the-stop-binge-eating-podcast

Congratulations both on your success so far.

Its only my and my DS at home. Its always been this way. I used to do it when he was in bed. But now I do it during the day in front of him. I hate I lack control

I'm very similar OP. 34 and a good two stone over what I want to be. I try not to binge but I can't stop myself.

I’m the same. I’ll be really restrictive with what I eat and count calories to lose weight. A few days later I’ll give up and start bingeing on chocolate and biscuits. Once I start I can’t stop until I feel really sick. It’s a vicious circle!

thats me. Im on my fitness pal but its shocking how quickly calories add up. I do a few days successfully but then it hits me just how hard it is to feel full on 1400 calories a day as by day 3 I am so hungry. I then try things like eating low calorie things to keep me ticking over but then i want to continue eating. So throughout the day I end up slowly binging on low calorie foods and get home and pig out. Whilst doing it I feel ashamed of myself but i can't seem to stop

With your history of eating disorders I think dieting will inevitably lead to bingeing and starving. As you have found long term this leads to weight gain, as well as ill health. The best way to break the cycle is to just stop all the diet based mindset and try to focus on eating normally and getting mentally healthy.

Starving yourself and restricting calories is what is making you binge. I recommend reading intuitive eating but one thing I will say is that you really have to embrace and accept the fact that you will not lose weight doing it. It is about taking control of binge eating and fixing your relationship with food, NOT about losing weight.

I cant have food in the house that trigger binges.
Fresh bread.
Cake.
Biscuits.
Sweets.
Chocolate.

They are all out of bounds.
Sweets.

I have a young child so things like that are a treat for him and I dont want to stop getting them as he is excellent with them. I need to be able to live with them in the house.

It really isn't about weight loss for me as I need to change my relationship with food. But I cant help but feel like cutting down on the volume of what i binge on should have an affect on my weight even if its small

Ok first of all, go back to the doctor about your throat. If you feel something growing there you need to get it looked at again.

Stop starving yourself. It WILL lead to more bingeing and self-disgust. Break the cycle.

Agree with the poster who said about intuitive eating. Eat when you are hungry and stop as soon as you feel satiated. Start really listening to what your body is telling you. Do you think that might help stop the bingeing?

I need to eat regularly. Ive always said it but I'm so used to this way of eating now its become normal to me. So I need to break what is normal.

The doctors won't do anymore. Just keep referring me to the wellbeing helpline as a camera up my nose didn't find anything

If you're interested in trying intermittent fasting, but you're very used to eating regularly, I suggest you start off slow by stretching out the time between meals, or before breakfast for example. Even just by half an hour to an hour at first for a few days, then stretch it out longer. It really works to help you adjust to it.

I cant fast all day. But then it turns into a binge. I go all day up til 5pm sometimes without eating.
I think i worry as if I eat normal meals I will be hungry. As when I eat it triggers a hunger

I've found this hub to access help for eating disorders during corona virus so I would take a look on there. www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/support-services