So ashamed of my weight gain

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So I had a baby in April after 7 years ttc and 5 rounds of IVF. This last round involved steroids as part of my treatment protocol which made me gain some weight (and get the classic moon face). Prior to treatment/pregnancy I was a size 14/16 but fairly happy with it. I've always struggled with my weight but it's now on another level and post natally I've ballooned to a size 20 and I'm about 5 stone overweight. This has mainly been due to comfort eating as I've found things really tough and overwhelming and I've kept stuffing my face to cope with the overwhelming feelings and to keep myself awake with the sleep deprivation.
In the 3 months since my baby was born I've gained about 1.5 stone and weigh more than I did when I was 39 weeks pregnant. Now that lockdown is lifting, friends are wanting to see the baby and meet up outside but I'm so embarrassed and ashamed about my appearance that I don't want to go out. I hardly recognise myself in the mirror and I'm so umcomfortable with a massive belly, huge legs and enormous boobs (I'm not breastfeeding). My husband's friends are having a bbq in a month's time and I really feel like I need to send him on his own with the baby as I'm so embarrassed. All his friends' wives are size 10s/12s.
I'm thinking of maybe trying myfitnesspal again or maybe WW. I've never done WW and wonder if it works with cooking from scratch etc. I enjoy exercise but I've been too exhausted to do it. Sorry, just needed to offload a bit.

Hey! I understand your need to get it off your chest. I had a baby last August after years of infertility, and a tough round of IVF. I gained about 4 stone (and that doesn't include the baby ) - which I found out to my horror when I was weighed in at my 6 week check up and told to lose weight by the doctor! I just wanted to let you know I know exactly how you feel. I was mortified for months, and there's barely any photos of me with my little one. I really took it hard and put a lot of effort into weight loss and am 3 stone down now, with another 2 to go. Struggling a lot with motivation now and think I need a bit of an arse kick to get me going! Happy to join you with your weight loss!!

You've been through a lot with IVF and now a baby. Eating can be emotional not just for hunger, so don't be too hard on yourself. I didn't care what i ate after my dh died. It was almost self destructive, i now want to lose a similar amount to you and will be working at it. Good luck!

It's great that you're motivated to lose weight, but goodness - don't feel ashamed for being the size that you are! Firstly, your husband's friends' slim wives haven't been through IVF and steroids and a very recent pregnancy! Secondly, I've never looked at a new mum, of any size, and judged her for her weight - I bet you never have either. So nobody's going to be thinking that about you

Good luck with your weight loss journey!

PS. Congratulations on your baby

Go easy on yourself!!! You've been through loads and have a beautiful baby to show for it. Congratulations!! I lost my (2nd) baby weight last year and put it all in again in lockdown. But I've been calorie counting on calorie counter and now lost half a stone in about 2.5 weeks. The biggest battle has been resisting the temptation to stuff everything in sight in my face... I've tried to make some healthy swaps instead.
But honestly nobody will be judging you at all.. they'll be cooing over your lovely baby and thinking how happy they are for you. Buy a new outfit that makes you feel confident and do not feel ashamed in the slightest.

Ladies, thanks so so much. I feel so disgusted when I see myself and I'm so self conscious when it comes to socialising but I've got to remember what I've been through and just go easy. It's hard isn't it!

Ah bless you. This sounds really hard. Definitely join a slimming group for some support. Also get that baby out in the pram got lots of long walks ( that was how I dropped my many weight). But don't not go to the social occasions. Treat yourself to something glam to wear ( even though it will be too big on you soon) and some great accessories, get your hair done and go show off.

Typos! Baby weight

You’ve been through so much-go easy on yourself. No one is going to judge a new mum, especially in the current circumstances. My second was born in january and it’s only been the last month I’ve found my feet and sorted out so you are already doing amazingly.

My biggest fall was being lazy when tired, not planning ahead and dialling for a takeout when the kids were sorted and in bed. The last month we have been having weekly gousto boxes to cover four days, then the other 3 I’ve been using other recipe cards from past weeks to pick our meals ahead, buy all ingredients and then I write a menu for the week out so I know what we are doing when. It’s saved me so much money, cut our food waste and I’m easily loosing weight, whilst eating better and more nutritiously. For lunchtimes I’ve been making up salads/cous cous type things that last a few days while cooking in an evening so there’s always something fairly balanced to grab quickly and eat one handed rather than scoffing junk while ravenous under a screaming baby.
Good luck with whatever you decide to try. But do it for yourself-not to try and fit in with anyone else, & congratulations on your lovely baby!

Thanks so much again ladies for your lovely comments and reassurance. The good thing is I haven't gained any weight in the last two weeks so that's something!