Please help me I can’t take any more

[VoodooDonut]

I hate myself. Really REALLY hate myself. I don’t own scales because it’s a vicious circle but I’m getting fatter by the day. I’ve been on Slimfast now for a few weeks and I’m just getting larger and larger despite following it. I’m probably about 15 stone and must have gone up a dress size in lockdown. I don’t know what to do any more. I’m sat here in tears because I can’t take any more of this self-loathing. I’m a disgust and a joke. I try so hard not to eat! I just want to disappear. I’ve tried everything but I’m a disgusting ugly repulsive joke of a woman.

How do you do it? How do you lose weight? Slimfast was my last attempt but I must be eating even more calories than I was before, but I don’t understand how or why.

Jeans that just did up 2 weeks ago now won’t do up at all. I’m just and ugly blubbery mess. I just hit myself in the face while looking in the mirror because I despise myself so much. I’ve always been ugly and fat but now I’m 42 it’s crept up on me and I’m so ashamed.

Nothing works. I’m a joke. A weak pathetic fat disgusting worthless ugly joke. Pathetic.

Op my weight has been going up and down in lockdown. I’m trying to get back down again as I fear the embarrassment I’ll feel getting together with people and being bigger than I was before.

What works for me is 16:8. This is a way of eating where you are only allowed to eat within 8 hours every day. It actually works better in 7 hours for me.
Don’t eat breakfast and plan a healthy but filling lunch at 12pm. Eat something healthy again around 3. Then have dinner at 6.30/7. Have a little dessert if you want and then no eating again til 12pm the next day.
Aim to include your 5 a day and you will feel full.

Fill your time with things that make you feel positive about life to get through the day.
I do lots of housework and go for a walk in the morning. Spend time with the kids and read books and watch boxsets.
I feel more positive when I’m getting things done and it helps me to stick to a healthy diet.

You can do it.

On utube there is a man "life of Ollie" he followed exante plan xxx his videos are good

Diets will work for a period of time, it might be a day, week or a month but you need to address the self harm, not just to your body but to your mind. You would not speak to anyone the way you to speak to yourself. There is just not enough help for this.

Call the Samaritans: 116 123

Or

Text Shout mental health support: 85258

OP, try not too be hard on yourself, why not write down a typical day of food intake here and someone will surely give some advice, I find if I'm stressed I have no will to stop eating and then feel so miserable after doing it, be kind to yourself OP,

VooDoo Donut bless you don't be angry with yourself.OK you've now realized that you need to lose some weight.Well you've taken the first step.Don'think you can find the magic to lose the weight overnight.It has crept on slowly by eating more than you need so it has to be shifted slowly by eating less. Inform yourself what others are doing then choose a new eating plan that suits you.Nothing extreme or you won't be able to stick with it.Mumsnet is a good place to look.Don't make the mistake of trying to make too many changes at a time.One small change at a time. I have downloaded to my phone Body Fast.It 's free and suggests how much water to drink depending on your weight.That's a start. Look into the rest.Not impossible.Go on beautiful,dry those tears.You can do it

You can do this. I hope you feel better.

OP, I wanted to reach out to you. Being angry and disgusted with yourself won’t help in the long run. It won’t change anything but will make you feel shit, so if you can, try to let go of these emotions. Maybe loving yourself feels too extreme at the moment but how about just cold neutrality? Yes, you have some excess fat (that doesn’t say anything about your value as a person) but you’re going to get healthy.

I tried slim fast in desperation a few months back. I was 14 and a half stone and also felt like shit and like I’d let myself go. I starved myself for a week, felt shit, then binge ate a pizza and ice cream and undid the small amount of weight I had lost. I knew I had to rethink. At the beginning of the lockdown I started afresh. I knew I wasn’t seeing people or going anywhere. No events to look good for. So I eased off the pressure. Decided to get some exercise in daily in the form of brisk walking, then jogging, didn’t cut out any foods apart from processed junk, ate around 1700 cals a day. I started doing daily yoga with Adriene on YouTube. That was 60 days ago. I have lost about 18 pounds so far. I have well over a stone to go but it feels possible. I used to binge terribly (that’s how I gained weight and like you I have been on ADs that made me gain). I haven’t binged since I started. I don’t feel deprived at all because I eat totally normal non-diet food (pasta, pies, stir fries, soups). I will continue eating exactly the same once I reach goal, just increase the calories a small amount.

The key is sticking to it. You will see little change in 2 weeks or even 4 weeks. Give it 8-12 weeks and then decide if it’s not working.

VLCDs, shakes slim fast etc promise quick results but they aren’t sustainable, meaning most people go back to old habits and pile on the weight. I also think that long term deprivation hugely increases cravings as your body will be battling you to regain the weight once you stop the diet. I personally feel the same about low carb but I know that many people have had amazing experiences with it so I don’t want to write off all of it. However, everyone I know who has done shake diets has regained everything.

Hope you can give yourself a break and make some progress. I also second the comment that you should visit doctors if you are eating reduced calories and losing nothing after several weeks. However, be honest with yourself. I would have said the same at my fattest. I was eating 1500 on my diet days but I frequently binged and didn’t count the cals for my binges because they made me ashamed and I wanted to start afresh. But if I totted them all up, my daily average was probably close to 3000 cals.