How did you finally lose weight of you've struggled for years. I'm talking decades

[FuckingDoneWithIt]

I'm thinking of just fat shaming myself.

I just write down how fat and disgusting I am and it felt good.

I might print out photos so I see them and feel revolted and don't want to eat

I can't do this anymore but I'm an emotional eater and this is fucking my head up.

I've been overweight 10 years. And now I'm obese.

I can't do this anymore.

And people might think this is the turning point.

I've been here 20 times.
I've broken the chair.

I've been refused on the rides.

I've stopped having sex (me and my husband seperated for a while and he was seeing someone else and I walked in on them, and now every time I wnat to have sex I see his hands on her tiny waist)

I saw someone too so it's not one sided.

I just can't cope anymore.

I can't.

That's so sad. Low carbing is a great way to lose weight as you can still eat tons of lovely food. There are so many threads on here about it and resources on the internet. It really does work though but you may find the first few days tricky if you normally eat a lot of carbs. Good luck x

I've done them all.

I've done WW. KETO. SW. Exante. Calorie counting. Intermittent fasting. Water fasting.

Everything.

It's not the diets. It's my emotional attachment to food

GPS aren't interested.

Been half a dozen times.

Just tell me to loose some weight and come back and they'll give me XLS medical
Or tell me to join slimmers World.

And I know that in a few days I'll be binge eating again

I’m an emotional eater. I also have EUPD and Bipolar so you can imagine that’s quite a combination !

I can’t vouch for it completely but I’ve been advised to avoid the usual diets and try a mindful approach to eating. I’m reading the Headspace Guide to Mindful eating right now as a starting point. It was only 99p on my kindle. It is really good and a lot of the techniques really resonate with me. It has already started making a difference and curbed my binging habits. It really tackles the emotional connection we have with food and encourages you to still enjoy what you eat but to make healthier choices (because you deserve to be nourished and to treat your body with respect), to eat less because you spend time listening to your body and to enjoy a treat but not stuff your face or feel guilty.

I eat a lot in the evening as a ‘reward’ for getting through the day. I also eat to cheer myself up. But I’m realising I just eat shit because I don’t value myself very much.

I’m trying to turn that around a bit. I’m also going to start some form of exercise (I used to run and do yoga when I was slimmer), I’m extremely unfit and embarrassed to begin right now but I’m working on it.

It’ll take a range of strategies to support and sustain a healthy lifestyle of which one outcome will be weight loss. My suggestion- Counselling, weight loss group, investing in good quality food. I really don’t think this is something can be achieved in isolation.

What RANGE of strategies do you think would enable you to make sustainable changes?

If you're an emotional eater or have binge eating disorder the worst thing you can do is to go on a 'diet' as the feelings of deprivation and scarcity will trigger your binge eating.

The approach I used was this....

Instead of going on a diet and restricting food - make a list of all the healthy foods that, when you think about it, you actually really enjoy.

So, for example while I'll reach for junk food from habit I actually really love fruit, especially watermelon, mango, etc.

This is helping you to strengthen the positive association with healthy food.

Then choose one change to make next week. JUST ONE. And it can't be a restriction (e.g. 'I won't snack').

Maybe choose one meal that you'll swap for healthier alternatives. I usually start with breakfast.

So normally I would skip breakfast or have a huge sugary Starbucks coffee and a pastry.

I swapped that out for fresh fruit, Greek yoghurt and granola - I started with the granola being one with chocolate in it. This was a breakfast I genuinely enjoyed.

It wasn't restrictive and didn't feel like I was being deprived.

Then the next week make JUST ONE more change. It could be just adding lots of extra veg that you like without taking anything away.

The following week you make another change. Let's say swapping out your usual lunch for some healthy lunch recipes that you actually really like the look of.

You are NOT calorie counting or following any diet or restricting any kind of food though remember.

Keep going and tweaking one thing a week.

Don't weigh yourself as that is also usually a trigger and just trust the process. If you keep making one healthy tweak every week YOU WILL lose weight.

You'll also see your skin getting clearer and your energy levels improving.

It's not a quick way of losing weight but then neither is yo-yo dieting. You might loose a few pounds quickly and then end up fatter than before.

This is a sustainable way of changing your way of eating and your life. No quick fixes but it works!

I could have written this OP, and @wheresmymojo your post is incredibly helpful - it has really resonated, and I've been fat (on and off) for 25 years. Thank you.

I feel your pain OP. I've been overweight for 15 years now, at first only by a stone or two but it snowballed out of control following a bereavement and mental health issues which led to me comfort eating.
I dont have any advice as such, as I'm only just starting to make small changes to my lifestyle (drinking more water, walking more).
I've lost a few pounds in the last few weeks due to lockdown as I've still been working but I've not been able to gorge on takeaways as usual as they've been closed due to the lockdown.
To be honest I haven't missed those "treats". I wish you luck for the future.

Slimming world is the only thing that worked for me. I was obese as a child and always was right up until I was 30 and decided enough was enough.

FYI

I have a BMI over 40 (or I did, I don't know now because I've stopped weighing myself because it triggers my binge eating but below is a comparison of my before and after average day doing this...

Before - Jan 2020

B: Large Starbucks caramel macchiato and either nothing or a chocolate twist pastry

Snack: Another large Starbucks caramel macchiato, possibly a chocolate bar or muffin

L: Cheese sandwich, packet of crisps, chocolate bar, 2 x Diet Coke, sometimes another large Starbucks sugary coffee

Snack: Sometimes nothing, sometimes a binge which might be milkshake, crisps, whole packet of biscuits or sharer size caramel popcorn and/or chocolate, more Diet Coke

D: Ready meal sweet & sour chicken and egg fried rice for two OR dominos pizza with dominos cookies and sometimes a pint of ice cream OR fish/chips/peas, up to another litre of Diet Coke

Now:

B: Banana, blueberries, Greek yoghurt, granola. Tea with no sugar.

No snack but probably a pint of water with a bit of cordial in.

L: Scrambled egg made with tomato, a bit of spinach, red chilli, bit of feta cheese and sprinkle of seeds and a couple of slices of whole meal toast

Lots more water with weak cordial. Another tea or coffee with no sugar.

Snack: Apple with peanut butter OR raw carrot (I actually love raw carrot)

D: Homemade prawn Thai curry (made with reduced fat coconut milk and plenty of veg) and rice OR homemade smoked haddock risotto (but made without butter, wine or cream) OR coconut crusted fish and vegetables

After dinner: A small hot chocolate OR homemade cookies (made from oats, mashed banana, peanut butter and dark choc chips) OR a little meringue nest with Greek yoghurt, mango and passion fruit.

So I don't weigh myself but I KNOW I'm losing weight - it would be impossible not to with the changes made.

I've only changed one thing each week which felt manageable and not difficult.

I always look at what looks yummy when swapping stuff out. I never go on the basis of 'cutting something out' but 'replacing with something that looks really enjoyable but healthy'

My energy levels have increased. I used to feel like I needed a nap every afternoon and now rarely feel like that.

My skin is sooooo much clearer and starting to glow.

Irrespective of weight I just feel better about myself without the shame and guilt every bloody day.

I'm now starting to work on exercise. So this week the change is just to put on exercise gear and go for a nice stroll every day. Each week I will then add a bit more, but slow and steady wins the race when it comes to long term changes for people like us who have eating disorders

YOU CAN DO IT OP

I’ve been watching supersize/super skinny on YouTube. One a day and my god it’s motivational. So you could start with doing that. I’ll be back later to try and give more tips xx

Last Feb I weighed 18st 20 pounds. I have lost over 4 stone and I am still 2 stone over my target
I am an emotional eater and have gained 3 pounds in locdown which has triggered bad feelings.
Being st home is much harder. When you are not occupied you reach for comfort food
I try to do 10000steps per day and although not on a diet I try to make good food choices usually and mindful eating. Is it really worth the calories am I really hungry. Etc
It is so bloody hard op and feel your pain.
My bmi has done from 39 to 31 ish I think because I am tall

I second @wheresmymojo suggestion of a series of small changes. I’ve introduced a lot of good habits into my life that have stuck for years doing that, drinking water, cutting down on coffee etc.

Personally for me, what has worked in recent years has been an adjustment in mindset. I like planning and lists etc, I plan my food a week ahead and log in MFP. Instead of thinking of it as restrictive I approached it more as a hobby, and nutrition not a diet. I also journal a lot. Again that suits my mindset but I’ve really found what works for me is a lower carb approach, I feel fitter and healthier. It’s not all or nothing, a blip is a blip not an excuse to go back to old ways, which was a problem I found before focussing on it as a diet,

18st 10 pounds should say

@wheresmymojo's advice is very similar to what I did. When my diet was finally reasonably healthy I still gave myself a treat once a week, usually a large slice of cake at the weekend. I know that might start a slippery slope for some, but for me it meant I had a treat to look forward to every week, and after a while I found I didn't need it.
I also accepted that there would be the occasional bad day where I would scoff everything in sight, but instead of giving up at that point I just continued the next day. Nobody is perfect and as long as it's not too often it makes little difference in the end.

Hey I am an emotional eater too and have put on a lot of weight since I met hubby he's not a health eater!

I had some success with SW but then moved.

I'm trying again now healthy eating, sw principles & exercise (still to happen!)

Oh meant to say there are somegood books on audible for binging

Have you tried Overeaters anonymous op? It has really helped me. Lots of zoom meetings going on at the minute