I can't bring myself to do it!

[Blastandbollocks]

I'm overweight. Technically obese, but with decent posture so I don't look it - just "cuddly" as a pupil described me.

Part of the issue is food - DH is 6ft 2" and eats appropriate to his size (well, okay, probably a bit too much) but makes me the same size of portion.

Due to childhood issues, I always clear my plate (food=love, so not eating means I'm rejecting that person) but I'm now addressing this and have talked to him about it.

So, now it's the exercise bit. And I cannot bring myself to do it. It's not time (lockdown has proved that), it's the fact that I HATE exercise. I've tried most things and it's the feeling of sweat, the having to put on different clothes and then shower after - I just can't be bothered. Plus the fact that I'm overweight and unfit, so when the exercise video says "do xxxxx" I just can't - and then I lose motivation.

How do I break this mindset? Is there an equivalent "how to motivate for exercise" Paul McKenna?!

With exercise OP you have to get into a mindset that it is not something unpleasant that you are being forced to do by someone or something else - but it is something you CHOOSE to do for yourself because it will make you healthier and feel good about yourself.

Yes there are discomforts. No one you see out jogging or whatever enjoys having to get their kit on and get started. Everyone would rather stay in bed. Just like you would. It's the same for everyone, you aren't especially afflicted with an anti- exercise problem

You have to tolerate the discomfort in the knowledge that the resulting benefits are worth it.

Highly recommend watching this as it really helped me.

Good luck.

Got up this morning to a bit of a misty day, so did 15 mins on the elliptical trainer in the garage (after about 15 mins vigorous cleaning and moving boxes to get to it) as I don't have any reflective exercise gear and I didn't fancy the country lane without being visible.

Interestingly, I then cleaned the windows before eating breakfast. Except I wasn't actually hungry when I came to eat. I had a coffee (black) and an apple so my blood sugar didn't go funny, but I'm still not hungry.

Normally, it's up, get dressed and have breakfast before going to work, but I'm wondering how much I'm eating because that's the way I was brought up - three meals a day (the one thing that I don't do is snack), rather than what I actually need. And yes, I know as has been pointed out earlier I'm an adult an can do what I want, but this is just my default setting.

That sounds like a very good start! I find that exercising before breakfast (I eat when I'm hungry) works really well for weight loss. Yes the 3 meals a day is sort of 'programmed' into us.
Paul Mackenna talks about it very interestingly. There's a few old threads of me and a lot of other losers on the Paul Mackenna (I Can Make You Thin) way of eating they'd be a good\helpful read!

With exercise try to do something you like. I hate walking, but ok cycling (lots of country walks around here). Can't bear the gymnast or even swimming, but I love ice skating. It's a brilliant way to get fit and uses loads of calories.

Interestingly, I am looking at bikes online - DS is loving cycling at the moment, but DH can't always get time off work to take him (key worker). So I did consider it, but am a bit confused over frame and tyre sizing.

I've been getting back into cycling since the lockdown, I think it helps having no association with being a school PE failure. You could try a local secondhand bike shop/co-operative they would probably suggest something over the phone and you'd get a better quality bike for your money.

Day... whatever (I've lost track of time with lockdown going on).

MFP is refusing to give me a "your weight in x days will be" as I'm exercising (not a lot) and sticking to the 1200 so it thinks I'm starving myself - and I'm really not, just changing my diet and taking things out - like milk and sugar in my tea (black and sweetner).

When I managed to give up (or really cut down on) sugar AND sweeteners that's when I found the weight dropping off. (i did'nt do it for weight loss though it was because I had a very bad tooth and was in pain ). I have to remind myself of that when I get tempted again!!!

The problem with most sweeteners (esp. aspartame) according to the medics they can apparently create health problems like diabetes. So best to keep well away from 'diet colas' etc.

I still eat fruit , plenty of it. but it has to be on an empty stomach. so for breakfast with nuts and or seeds. (not mixed into cereals)

Yes, I don't do diet drinks - I'm not one for a lot of fizz really (unless it's Irn-Bru, and I can't get that easily here!), and my sweetener is one tablet in tea/coffee when it's black so can't see it being much of an issue if I only have one/two cups per day.

I think another part of it is being quite religious about logging my diet - good days and bad. And working out what a portion size is - it's amazing how much less a portion is compared to what I was actually eating. Which confirms that it's not my diet, it's my portion size and eating like DH.

The first thing I've eaten today is lunch (just now) and I felt fine (after eating breakfast I'd be starving by 10am) and even managed to do a couple of solid hours of cleaning without it having an impact.

Well you;re right in that it's a lifestyle change, not just a diet you've got to go on for a short time.

The thing about changing how you eat forever is that it has to be sustainable - all of these only eat fruit/don't eat carbs/do this diet/that diet is great short term but as stats show are rarely sustainable in the long run. I decided to go down the basic weight watchers advice route, whereby you can eat relatively what you want but just in moderation and smaller portions, and substitute certain foods for other foods. Bulking up meals with tons of veg, certain things like oats to fill the tummy, that kind of thing.
I also cut out alcohol and cheese for the time being whilst I get my fat levels down, but it won;t be forever as I refuse to live a life of salad leaves and water. I will never be a size 8, but I will eventually melt away the fat with just cleaner eating, less take outs etc.

As for the exercise - I HATED exercise. Hated it. so boring, so hard. I ended up downloading this award-winning app called Zombies, Run that was free and honestly it's got me running! And not only that, looking forward to running! For most of it, you can use it on an exercise bike and just turn off the gps tracking, but I found I was looking forward to the next chapter etc. I started off slow though - just a walk/jog, and found that the time went by way faster than I was ever expecting.
I do a lot of indoor cycling now too, but again at the start just did 10 minutes here and there, than added on another 5 minutes, and very gradually worked my up in time and intensity. You have oodles of time to work on this - this is something that WILL take you time to get your body used to, but it will happen. There's a guy called David Goggins on youtube - he weighed something like 300lbs, was obese. He started off by doing a little bit of indoor cycling. A little each day. And thatwas the start of it. If you have time, have a look at his videos, they're really inspirational.

Well done for starting this though, it's a long journey done healthily but far more sustainable in the long run, and so much more worth it.

Yes what shocked me was thinking that our empty stomachs are the size of a grapefuit!. Most people on traditional 3 meals a day stretch their stomachs each time they eat, so it gets easier to overeat! I eat before (or around 6 pm) and that makes a great difference to my sleep and not feeling hungry for breakfast. Funnily when I do eat a late supper I feel hungry in the morning. Our bodies get used to certain amount of food quite quickly.

Our bodies get used to certain amount of food quite quickly

Very true! I don't hold with skipping breakfast etc, or severely restricting meals - if you're hungry, it;s not going to be good for you in the long run as you're proven to be more likely to snack/give up etc.

We tend to eat only between around 10am and 6pm (not always possible though, due to life getting in the way), but by doing it this way we've found we simply don't eat as huge meals more often. Before, I was having toast and butter as soon as I was up at like 6.30am. Then food again at around 9am, then midday etc up until 7pm ish. Now I try and exercise first thing, then first meal is around 10ish and I'll limit what carbs I may have, but typically will have an egg with something like tons of mushrooms, spinach etc, maybe a little potato for bulk, and some lean ham or something. Or it;s porridge with fruit, and if I'm still hungry after that I'll either have some fibrous cereal I like with skimmed milk or another banana or something. The key personally for me is smaller portions of somethings, but larger portions with meals such a loads more fruit and veg etc. But I;ve found my stomach has shrunk anyway due to the times I'm eating so I can;t actually eat what I did before.

Sounds mad but I have most meals on a little breakfast plate. Felt abit hungry at first but got used to it. Have lost 2 stone. I also do turbo so a stationary bike and I watch a series on it so do a one hour episode per day which I enjoy as I can watch my programme! don’t even realise I’m exercising but dripping in sweat by end.

If there's one thing I've learnt in my long history of weight loss and eating etc. it's that we are ALL different. There's no one size fits all diet. The best one is the one that suits YOU. Although Iam interested in health which doesn't seem to major in most mainstream diets. Especially the meal replacement ones.

I have never done running (I love walking, dancing and stretches/pilates) done on most days.

Well, I've ordered a bike (and helmet coz I'm not stupid!)

After discussing with DH and DBIL I have ignored the women's bikes and gone for a youth bike. DH was skeptical at first until we did some experiments on my DS's bike in terms of height and he can now see that, at 5ft 1.5" (I round up to 5ft 2!), I need something a bit smaller than a woman's bike which has the same wheel size (or larger) as my inside leg.

Should arrive in the week so I completely apologise for the torrential rain which will follow. 🤣

I highly recommend getting a different plate/bowl from your DH, especially if you feel compelled to finish everything on your plate.

My DH is only a few inches taller than me but he is overweight. I gained a lot of weight when we first dated because he would serve everything on massive dinner plates. I got him to switch to serving me on some Denby shallow rimmed bowl (mine look like this but other colours are available www.havens.co.uk/denby-azure-azure-coast-21cm-rimmed-bowl-5694p.html).

That, together with a bit of calorie counting really helped keep the weight off until I got pregnant and gained a whopping amount.

Oh dear Blast Don't get me started on bikes! It's always a good idea but as soon as I get the damn things out on our roads (which are very gritty) I get a puncture. Then I get the puncture mended, and it happens again! So dh (without consulting me) kindly bought a mountain type bike for me ,with thick tyres. but it is much too heavy for me, apparently the shop assistant assured him it's unisex but it's no good at all and is sitting growling at me in the shed!

So I'm thinking of getting a thick tyred "sit up and beg with a basket" 'ladies' bike with electrical help! They're very expensive so it'll have to be 2nd hand.

Bike arrived. Bike has been set up. Bike has been fallen off. Massive arse padded shorts have been ordered.

Then it rained. Still, it fits me and I can ride it.

Oh dear Are you ok? Being on a bike 'or motorbike in the rain is the quickest way of getting wet (apart from having a shower in yr bathroom of course but you're not wearing clothes then!!) I've ever known!!!

BTW Paul Mackenna (sorry to go on about him) but he says we should learn to accept our bodies (pre weight loss) because they are good for sooo many things in out lives ! So no negativity about them. !!!

My bike is a unisex one as well, I've got a padded gel cover for the saddle (they were in Aldi) makes a world of difference.

Well, weighed myself just now and I am 5lb down in two weeks. (23rd April to today) and that's in the middle of the day because I forgot this morning.
Does anyone know if your cycle causes weight fluctuations?

Get some snag chub rub shorts, total game changer! I hear you though op, I’m overweight too and hate exercise. I have a good 4 stone to lose and zero motivation. Sorry, not very helpful but just wanted to say you’re not alone!

And yes it does change with cycles. Around ovulation and my period I weigh 2-5lb more.

Yes it does change with our cycles. (Not the bikes but they'd help )

I don't weigh, just go by my jeans and looking sideways at the full length mirror, in the nuddy!!

Treating myself with a "naice" pod coffee with caramel in it this morning. Been drinking black for ages so it feels like a real treat rather than the everyday I was drinking. It's daft really (and yes, it should be self evident but my brain didn't make the connection!) but I logged it on MFP and really begrudged the extra calories - 74 not 2 (not the drinking of it, but definitely the calories! ) for "just a coffee".

I can feel my mindset changing - which is a novelty for me. I'm really considering changes to normal meals - macaroni cheese is a major staple for DS so it's usually a family dish as it's too much bother the make two separately. Now I'm still having it, but much much smaller portions and filling the space with veg or salad.