How do I make sure this time different?

[Gemi33]

I feel like I have tried so many different diets and had a million fresh starts but I'm now heavier than ever and feeling miserable. I truly want to lose weight once and for all but I think I have lost the belief in myself that I can. I am also constantly exhausted due to medical issues and a stressful job and I think that doesn't help (but isn't going to change any time soon).

How do you find the right diet? I've tried so many but not sure that any of them have suited me perfectly but at the same time I think I need something quite rigid to follow in a way as just trying to eat less and be generally healthy doesn't work for me.

How do you stay positive, focused and motivated?

Any tips for making a strong start and getting off on the right foot?

Would really like to hear from anyone with any advice or anyone in the same boat!

xx

Hi Gemi33, I am in the same boat. Four years ago I started weighing me every day and was determined to slowely but determidly lose but instead I gained every year.

I though and still think that changing eating habits is the key. But I still tend to over eat or just eat really the bad things: cake, ice and chocolate.

I think the S-diet is sensible, because it allows days off. I also think 8:16 is a good approach - but I also seem not to be able to stay motivated.

At the moment I write down what I eat every day and I managed to lose half a stone in May, but did not maintain it in June and am now back where I started.

What can we do?

It's really difficult isn't it?! I feel like I waste so much time thinking about what plan I should follow and what's the best approach but then when I just seem to jump in to something it seems to fall apart really quickly and I can't stay motivated.

I don't think I've heard of the S-diet so I will have a look at that - thanks!

xx

I've yo yo'd the same two stone for years.

I can lose it but I end up putting it all back on and more.

I really wish I had the answer but the truth is it's eating less calories and moving more.

I think naturally slim people just aren't constantly preoccupied by food.

That's true - I am constantly thinking about it which I hate but can't stop!

Low carb is good but it is possible to plateau. What I find is good is doing low (ish) carb. That is very little bread, pasta, rice or starchy vegetables and no sugary foods along with logging food on FitBit and making sure I have a calorie deficit of usually at least 1000 calories. I run most days as well which does help burning the calories and muscle tone.

If you have set food, set meals all planned, don't eat between meals and eat low carb which regulates blood sugars well and satiates, you will find you don't need to think about food all the time.

Meals can be very easy. What you'd normally have. Cut the carb element. Replace with non starchy veg. Work out portion size to have with an ap like the FitBit one I use. Or you could use a calorie counter. If you don't want to calorie count maybe just cut your usual portions in half and add non starchy veg.

I spent years either being on or off a diet. Each diet involved loosing weight when on it and then putting it back on. I had great success with low fat and low carb diets, they key reason being I could still binge and eat large portions of food I liked. However, I missed the banned foods and soon returned to eating them, and having not conquered my binging habits/inability to tell when full, the weight inevitably came back on.
Part of my upset about being overweight was the lack of control I had over my eating. I felt embarrassed about my appetite and admired people who ate sensibly. This time, I decided to not only think about losing weight but also being a 'successful person' (my own construct) with food and eating. I decided a 'successful person' around food is someone who takes in all of the nutrients needed to support their health, they also enjoy eating the foods they enjoy but do so in a manner that doesn't compromise their health. I decided this should be do-able and sustainable and recognised that it might take some time to change my habits but, over time, I can.
This change in thinking happened in April and I have lost 2 stone. I am out of the obese category and half way down the over weight category.
I feel really pleased with my weight loss and with my attitude and experience of food. I have joined in with celebrations, ice cream, pizza etc but on occasion and have been ultra healthy a few days following to 'restore balance'.
I expect that if I read what I have just written prior to April and my personal break through in thinking, this wouldn't have connected with me or I would have thought this works for some but not me - I need a diet where I can eat loads. I have no idea of what clicked/switched in me to prompt to buy in to what I had heard thousands of times before. This is the only mysterious part.
I feel this way of eating is sustainable nut time will tell!

Threadbaretoe that sounds very inspiring!

Thanks Cheesecake53
I always felt very distant from people who said the sort of thing I just wrote. I used to think, 'I wish that type of thing worked for me', and thought of myself as somehow different and so it wouldn't work for me.
I think the big breakthrough for me was accepting the calories in / calories out science (now fat and low carb undermined that) and recognising that I needed to take control of my eating. I really do like to feel on top of things and in control and decided that as I am like that in some aspects of my life there is no reason I can't be with my eating too.
I recognised that sometimes the laundry gets out of control or we are out of many needed products in the home. When this happens I stop and do a big clean, big shop and get things back on track. Now, if I start making some bad food choices/ eat things mindlessly and without thinking, instead of thinking 'what's the point' or ' I may as well give up', I recognise this happens in other areas of my life and I rectify it and so thing shouldn't be any different.
When there are 6 loads of washing to do I don't leave them to rot and roll around in the dirt with every dirty item I have got, I plug on with sorting it out. My all or nothing thinking with regards to my diet was crazy, when I think about it. It was almost allied to the idea that I shouldn't wear clothes in case they got dirty or if they did get dirty I should throw them away and get new ones!
I hope this makes sense. I am very wary of becoming one of those evangelists who, just because something works for them, they start getting all preachy. What worked/works for me may not be helpful for others, I do realise that!

The laundry comparison is very good and makes so much sense!

With that all-or-nothing approach you really describe me, if I lost much I always felf teriffic, but after gaining weight again two or three days in a row, I think I have confirmed that I just cannot lose weight and am stuck.

Threadbaretoe I like your post it makes a lot of sense.

I have an all or nothing approach to food.

On the times when I 'give up' I sometimes eat everything and anything just because I can. It's almost like if I fall off the wagon and have a takeaway, I then think h well what's the point and have another, and some cake and crisps too.

I wouldn't take that approach with other things in life, be it housework, money or anything else.

Some really interesting replies on this thread - thank you. I am also very much all or nothing even though I know logically that it makes no sense. I find I so hard not to just give up when I have a slip up. I also think that because I have tried so many times I just don' really believe I can do it which is stopping me trying again even though I desperate to be healthy and feel better about myself.

xx

Have you tried the Beck Diet plan book? It is a CBT-led approach to a healthier way of eating. Six week programme with exercises to try and build in good habits about your eating, your feelings, etc. They encourage you to choose a way of eating which I think means you feel less a sense of rebellion - you could do LCHF, or simply say three meals a day and only fruit or veg for snacks, or whatever.

You could see if your library has it? I have found it so helpful. I just feel calmer, and like all the drama over chocolate (for example!) is disappearing from my life...

PS Also love the laundry analogy! So healthy!