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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Overweight.... Sex advice needed

3 replies

Daydreamer34 · 06/06/2019 17:08

Hi there i hope this is OK to post here, I usually post on aibu. Plz delete if not allowed.
My husband and I are overweight/obese. We both need to lose at least 5 stone each to be a healthy weight. We are currently trying to eat healthy and move more. I've lost nearly 2 stone so going in the right direction.

My biggest problem is our sex life. We have been together nearly 20 years but we are only in our 30s so still pretty young. We do not have a sex life. We are always too tired etc. I adore him and I want to get back on track with it but our main problem is our size and fitness levels.
I have zero flexibility, zero stamina, I also suffer with hip and back problems.
He has zero flexibility, zero stamina and also suffers with back problems. Both as in one wrong move can cause the back to spasm for weeks on end.

When we do have sex I am really uncomfortable, my hips hurt so bad, I cant hold my legs up etc. Its all such a mess. I hope things will get better as we lose weight but any advice for now in the mean time? I really don't want to be in a sexless marriage. We used to be very sexually adventurous, now it's just missionary position and I can't wait for it to be over due to pain. I feel too embarrassed to talk to him about it also

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 06/06/2019 17:29

How about spoons position with him on his side behind you?

Daydreamer34 · 06/06/2019 19:29

We've tried that but my bum is big so he can't get near 🙄

OP posts:
Matleavemadam · 09/06/2019 09:05

Why not try to concentrate on non penetrate sex for now until you have both lost weight and got some fitness back? There are other ways to be intimate/pleasure each other that don't involve full sex. Penetrative sex can be the goal that may keep you motivated with the weight loss, rather than just feeling like everything is hopeless.
Good luck

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