How to stop life getting in the way of weight loss

[peanutbutterismydownfall]

I'm 5'4" and weigh 11st. I will be much healthier, feel much better and be able to wear many more of my clothes if I can lose a stone. I have been trying to lose this stone since Easter last year and all that happens is that I lose a pound or two during a week only to put it on again over a weekend or a lose a few pounds over the course of a month only to go on holiday or something and re-gain it all. It is so tedious.
Last week, I was really "good" and was determined to lose 1lb a week until the children break up for summer. I have probably scuppered that this weekend. On Saturday, I was at posh do, had a couple of glasses of champagne & ate all of the amazing food we were provided with (relatively small portions, relatively healthy but three courses) and then had two miniature cakes at the afternoon tea that it led into.
Yesterday was visiting friends and they had made my favourite cake. I had a slice. Should I have turned it down? FWIW, I said no to processo or pimms but ended up consuming some of the crisps they later put out.
Today we met friends for lunch, a walk on the beach & then ended up going to the pub. Lunch was fish & chips on the beach - I had a smaller portion but at the lot as I was really hungry. After our (short) walk, everyone else had an ice cream so I did too. And then had a glass of wine in the pub as I couldn't face another afternoon of being the boring, sober one.
How do I get myself into a mentality where I can feel that I can still enjoy socialising without needing to eat & drink what the majority as enjoying?

We live in a world surrounded by food and people who constantly eat food. You however have the majority of your meals at home and if you happen to have one of the days like you describe, just skip have a tomato and cucumber salad for the next meal.
You need nonetheless to reconsider your snacks. You don’t turn down a cake made especially for you but you don’t buy an ice cream or eat crisps when you want to lose weight .
You don’t need alcohol to have fun, so cut the booze, your health will thank you.

You have been trying to lose weight for over a year this means you are doing something wrong and maybe we can help you.
What is your method of any or what do you eat?

Just have to be bloodyminded. Calculate your TDEE and eat under that consistenly ever day. Track your calories. Treat it like money- you have a budget, and you can spend your calories on whatever food you like, but you can't exceed your limit without penalties (in this case, staying overweight).

Drink water, don't buy crap, don't eat rubbish like cakes on a daily or even weekly basis because you are just harming your own progress in a pointless way. Take a longterm view. A bit of self control with food now, a hell of a lot of pride when you go down a dress size later.

Up your protein as you are most likely not getting enough to keep you full.

Good luck.

I’m exactly the same - by the time DS2 was 6 months old, I had lost all of my ‘baby weight’ plus an extra 5kg and was feeling great about myself. 6 months and a few indulgent holidays later, and I’m almost back to where I started

Things that I find help me:

• vodka and Diet Coke over wine or beer
• if there’s cake or something ‘nice’, then I have a really tiny slither - it stops me from feeling like I’ve missed out
• balance over indulgence out eg if I’ve had a heavy lunch out, I’ll just have soup for dinner or I’ll go for a run that evening
• always have breakfast! Otherwise I get to the office and by mid morning I’m hungry and start scrounging for biscuits and other crap
• plan ahead - if I’m going to a restaurant, I’ll look at the menu beforehand and try and chose a healthy option
• realize that it’s ok to say no to food when it’s offered. Just a simple ‘no thanks I’m not hungry’ works

Good luck 🍀

It's all about willpower. I had a baby 6 weeks ago and am determined to lose the baby weight. I'll be happy once I've hit the stone mark too (up 4kg on pre pregnancy weight).

I understand the socializing aspect of it is hard but just plan ahead. For instance this weekend I went out for breakfast with a group of friends. They all had a fry up and I had poached eggs and veggies because I suggested a place I know has some healthy options.

A friend of mine is actually joining me in trying to lose weight now too so we're going to the gym and doing fitness classes together. It's good to rope someone else in because you can't be lazy and stay home if someone is waiting at the gym for you!

I've also learned that allowing yourself weekly treats doesn't work. Once a month maybe 😏

Sounds like 5:2 might suit you? 2 days a week you "fast" and eat a really tiny amount of calories. I think it'ss 500 for a woman, 600 for a man. If you've had a particularly indulgent week you could fast on 3 days instead of 2. Might suit you? There's a long running thread on Mumsnet about it, gives loads of information and support. Some people find it really easy to do.

Unfortunately weight loss really is a lifestyle adjustment vs a dip in out attitude (when you got goal weight you can add everything back in if you monitor). As pp said work out your TDEE there's online calculators, it's mostly calorie control but exercise helps to offset that. Join Myfitnesspal to track your intake - it's free and you can quickly scan most foods for cals. Don't trust your scales 7 days a week! You'll not have 'lost 1-2lbs' mid week and put them back on by the weekend. You'll have hydrated your self by 'being good', dropped some initial water weight then 'regained' it by hitting the booze and high carbs. Weigh yourself once a week on the same day and track it for an overall picture. We all fluctuate from day-to-day. I completed a half marathon and had 'gained' 10lbs the day after (no I had not! It was muscle water retention!).

I’d start to love yourself a bit more. Be mindful of what you’re eating. Eat slowly and appreciate the taste and texture of the cake...the ice cream...the crisps.
I personally find alcohol bad, because once I’ve had a few drinks, any self control over food vanishes. Wine/champagne etc is the worst!

Like bibbity I'd suggest 5:2. You can't have blowout after blowout on "5" days, but a weekly takeaway etc is totally fine. I'm down nearly two stone doing it, and really don't feel deprived.

The problem is that you need to change your way of eating for life. You can't just dip in an out of old habits and expect that to make a difference.

I am doing mindful/intuitive eating but still eat out and still lose weight. But the difference would have been not eating cake after a three course meal. Making allowances for meals out so having a lighter lunch the day before or after. Cake can be eaten but if I do then it's a meal (lunch) not an add on.

You didn't need to eat the ice cream after the fish and chips just because others do. Take control of your own hunger and eating rather than following the crowd. After your fish and chips you should have just said no thanks to the ice cream.

I will have an alcoholic drink when I go out but have stopped drinking at home as it's empty calories and there are now lots of NA/LA alternatives that you can have. However, if I have alcohol I then make sure I duck out of any snacks like crisps because that is just a bad habit and it's not as if you really need them if you have eaten properly before.

It's the dieters downfall isn't it. Ive lost over a stone since January and I've learned that nobody notices if you politely turn down birthday cake.

I do absolutely loads of walking, and my pedometer shows calories burned. Ibv9for weight loss I try not to eat the calories back, but on sociable days I can at least use them to offset damage.

And say no to bread and butter in restaurants, again nobody notices or cares.

It's the saying no that is difficult, but actually it does feel very empowering.

'no thanks, I'm not hungry at the moment'
'I'd love some, but maybe later'

Once you have declined then its pretty easy.

I find it hardest in my own home, seems a bit odd to offer guests cake or biscuits and then not join them!

I'm 5'4" and 12 stone, which is what I was just after I'd had DS2. I lost a stone on mat leave as I was always active. Went back to work and have gradually put the stone back on as I'm sitting at a desk all day. Have got 2.5 stone to lose in total but am determined this time. I am going to allow myself the odd treat but really think about whether I want something before I have it, not just eat out of habit. Also going to up the exercise as I don't do any at the moment. I am starting couch to 5k next Monday and going to try and squeeze swimming in once a week too. Diet wise, I don't drink very often but chocolate and biscuits are my downfall. Plus portion size. Happy to join a support/encouragement thread if you want one?!

What everyone said : pick your battles. You can't eat fish and chips, crisps, cake, booze and expect to be 10 stone. It just ain't gonna happen.

Draw a line under it and move on. What's done is done and the only thing you can do now is learn from it.
Ditch the school holidays dead line, you'll only feel like a failure when the time comes if you haven't lost the stone.
Work out your weekly calorie allowance and stick to it, using extra on days you want to eat more and less on other days to "pay" it back. Consider trying to lose half a pound a week rather than a pound. It'll allow you eat more but take longer. You need to be really accountable for every calorie and not over estimate your exercise calories.
Good luck

There is no way I’d lose weight by eating all that in a weekend, however I cut back for the rest if the week. You have to work out how to enjoy yourself, but with fewer calories.

Looking at your weekend. At the posh do have one glass of champagne, and then sparkling mineral water. Eat all the meal, but no bread rolls and only a small amount of dessert. Only one miniature cake at the tea. Meringue/macaron type cakes have fewer calories than cream cakes.

If a friend makes you a cake then yes, you have to eat it, but no crisps later. If you have fish and chips then don’t eat it all, and try to eat all the fish but leave some of the batter. Instead of ice cream have an ice lolly, which has fewer than 100 calories so a better choice. One glass of wine in pub fine, as long as it doesn’t lead to two.

If you really do want to lose weight then you need your own plan which works for you without you feeling deprived of a good time.