I am crying in the toliet like a wuss
Hiding from my family, i feel of i tell them why i am heartbroken they we will be like ??? Like you dont know your fat??
Of course i know i panic everytime i buy clothes and squeeze in to a size 32
I catch glimpses of myself in windows and mirrors and think jesus!
But i have hidden away due to PTSD due to past abuse i used it as a comfort but i has become my excuse
My amour of i dont give a shit what anyone thinks i am big and proud
But im not im terrified, and now i have taken that step said to myself your going to do something about this i feel more panic than i have ever felt before!!
Today i did not eat breakfast (bad habit) but when i decided to do this i threw out all the crap
Went to do the big shop bought lots of salad and veg i am thinking of mixing up jackets and filling with salads and home made veg soup
No sweets, no crisps, no shit and no pop
Jesus the amount of Pepsi max i drink is a disgrace in its self
So i am on sugar free squash and iced water
Im trying i has chicken salad for lunch
I must get on with the ironing, have to stop crying
Thank you all for you advice and support its so good to hear from others