This is long but please read and give me some moral support everyone!
In 2017 I decided I really wanted to get myself in great shape and fit before I hit menopause. I had managed to get fit and healthy after my first two children but never lost the weight after my third child. So I worked really hard and was focused, with a personal trainer and a nutritionist as part of a program at my health club. I steadily lost the weight and felt fantastic, I finally was within 2lbs on my goal weight after losing about 25lbs.
Then my 11 yr was diagnosed with cancer in November 2017. Obviously with the shock and fear the last thing on my mind was my own health and I was eating whatever I wanted because of stress. Luckily after an operation which was successful he didn’t need chemo. He got the all clear and after a few months I was able to get back on the wagon. I had gained about a stone during his sickness. But I got focused again in March 2018 with my trainer as I love weight training and it also helped with stress relief. So I gradually lost weight again and was down to about 7lbs over GW so only half a stone to lose.
Then I was diagnosed with cancer in June 2018! YES!!!!!! Totally insane. Last summer of 2018 I spent bedridden and had chemo until October 2018. I am now in recovery for the next year and on pain killers as it was bone cancer and I have back pain which can be very tiring. I find after half a day I have to rest. I have not been well enough to go back to work or continue with my graduate studies. I am now 50 and it is possible that the chemo has put me into menopause, it is not entirely clear.
So I am now 18lbs up from when I was 2lb from goal weight. A gain of almost 20lb. I know that of course my health is the absolutely most important thing but I am so frustrated that horrible events totally outside my control eliminated all my hard work. I feel like I just played a game of snakes and ladders where I was almost at the end and stepped on a snake on square 98 and slid all the way back down to square 20!
I was feeling so fab and I was two sizes smaller than I am now. I have always been a petite build. The club I belong to did a dexa scam before I started my weight loss/fitness program which showed my fat as % of body composition was very high. And even when I lost 25lb I still needed to lose more body fat. So I still had a way to go but I felt like I gained “myself” back and my energy levels were amazing.
My teenage girls, who are both very active are so encouraging, saying you can do it mum, you did it once so you know you can. But right now I am so demoralized. I was hoping to get back to exercise but am finding that my energy levels and motivation is very low.
Has anyone else had a major setback like this and got back on the bandwagon? I was thinking maybe I should just start with walking. In February I was struggling to walk more than 5 minutes but I think I could easily walk for 15 minutes now.
Please don’t think this is purely about the tyranny of the perfect body, as much as I loved being slimmer and wearing more fashionable clothes it was how fantastic I FELT and how fit and strong I was which was definitely my most motivating factor. Unfortunately my trainer also retired while I was sick.
The one positive thing is I am still at least 7lb under where I started back in 2017 so not completely at square 1!