Help me stop emotional eating

[Falafel19]

At home with 2 small dc full time as I'm a wahm. Both are terrible sleepers, dc1 is very high needs, no support here other than dh who works about 50 hours a week.

In the last few weeks my emotional eating has gotten out of control. I am literally eating sugar and carbs all day long every time I need cheering up/get upset/feel tired which is very often. I know I need to replace it with something to distract myself when there's a trigger but what? I can't go for a run/read a book etc when I'm stuck here with the kids and drinking a glass of water or something isn't going to cut it!

Any advice?

Hi @Falafel19

I hear you. Being at home with the children in this way is tough. I have only the one child, he is 2, but I am a single parent. It is relentless.

I gained more weight after having him than I did throughout my pregnancy. It was the staying at home, the constant care and attention he needed, the exhaustion. I thought nothing of eating chocolate as soon as I woke up to "give me energy" to get through the morning. Then when I had the chocolate, the day was a write off health wise (in my head) so I kept going.

Start with small changes, as loads of big changes will be too difficult right now and the minute you fall, you'll want to give up.

Can you try, for example, no food after 6pm?

What does a typical day for you look like at the moment?

I could have written this post! At home with a 6 week old who isn’t sleeping is killing my willpower.

I suspect part of it is in the habit rather than the need, so perhaps short term use a substitute? Eg have a box of grapes out and ‘train’ yourself to have a handful when you’re about to eat chocolate. The only other thing that helps me is not to have it in the house; if it’s there I’ll eat the whole thing, if it’s not, it gives me time to be mindful, as above, and make a different choice.

I have to get rid of anything remotely "bad" to eat in the house. I still go to the cupboards 50 times a day and open then to see what's there, and it's a load of tins of chopped tomatoes and chickpeas. Then I go work for an hour, and check again and it's still a load of chopped tomatoes and chickpeas. It's boring but works.

I've no advice except to say for me, after thirty years of this I've realised it's closely linked to fluctuations in my mental ill health and it's a form of self harm. Now I've realised that, the next step is finding a way to tackle and change it.

I can totally relate OP.

It's not just the emotional side - lack of sleep does something to your body that makes you crave eating, and the wrong foods at that. Until we tackled my DC's sleep I existed in a genuinely hungry fog.

I would:

Get rid of all the high sugar, high fat, refined carbs in the house - no chocolate or crisps or biscuits or whatever. If it's not there you can't eat it. And you don't need them to live. Nobody does.

Your brain is probably desperately craving sugar to use as fuel. Have grapes as a pp suggested - sweet but they also come with fiber, vitamins and hydration. And you have to chew them, you can't just gulp them down so you are more likely to stop eating when you're full instead of inadvertently overeating. Go for sweet vegetables such as carrots, sweet potato, sugar snap peas. If you can afford them berries are good, too. With these substitutions you will create new, healthier habits. You body will get used to them and you will find yourself wanting the healthier, colourful, nutritious food instead of the beige, processed non-foods. You will also be setting a positive example for your children.

Good luck

We actually don't really keep anything "bad" in the house, no crisps or biscuits etc, I just hunt out anything like toast and marmalade or bagels or just the 75% dark chocolate we keep for baking

I had to get rid of the baking chocolate and bagels and processed carbs too. Whatever you snack on and don't want to, get rid.

What reccy said. Carbs are my downfall and I could easily eat 5 pieces of toast with butter and jam as a snack and then go on to eat a full meal

If it's there I will eat it. So I only buy bread that I don't like or that has ingredients I am allergic to - the children and DH can have that for their toast and sandwiches. If I really must have bread I make it. All these obstacles have greatly reduced my bread consumption

As someone mentioned yes it's definitely a form of self harm, self sabotage and yet comfort at the same time, ridiculous really!

Ok small drop feed is that I can't get rid of the chocolate, I bake for a living so it's here for that, but it is only that in slabs I keep, I don't have chocolate bars or biscuits etc. At most I'd have 3 or 4 squares of it in one day.

I will definitely stop buying the bagels, that was a bad habit that formed in the last few weeks. We only buy wholegrain bread as that's what we all use for sandwiches lunches etc but I'd easily eat 4 or 5 slices in a day between breakfast with eggs and then marmalade or just with butter as a quick snack when the dc are at creche.

I hate grapes so would probably just forego any snack at all rather than eat them, might be a plan! We always have them here as the dc love them. I'm not really into fruit, I prefer veg but just cba making lunches etc that involve veg prep when I'm here with the two. For dinner I usually eat mountains of veg in whatever I made in the slow cooker.

Not eating after 6 wouldn't be a problem at all, I don't usually eat after dinner. It's 9-6 that's the problem