Please can someone help me change

[KrakenAwakes]

Sounds a bit desperate - and I'm using an old username to post this but i really do need to finally do something about the extra four stone I am carrying around.

I have in the past ten years yoyo'd between 10st 4 and 16st. I'm now about 15st and I'd like to be 11st - but also just feel able to move properly. My sister has recently lost a few stone on Weightwatchers and looks healthy and amazing with buckets of confidence.

I have tried slimming world, weightwatchers, low carb, low calorie, even gone so far as to try Herbalife. I cycle to work 4x a week and I am active with the kids but I don't seek out much exercise on top of that. I hate gyms.

Why do these diets fail.... well. I am a solo parent with next to no time off from the kids in a week except when I am at work - I really hate gyms - I cannot run after a botched operation years ago - I like hiking/walking but again - little free time. I also find it hard to cook something for the kids and then something else for me -my kids are skinny and have a diet free from dairy/soya so I'm already adapting meals.

But I am so so fed up of being fat - of being three times the size of the rest of my family. My 8yo told me I had a fat tummy the other day and my 5yo has taken to giggling that I am squashing her. I have next to no confidence to ever date!

I used to be a moderate smoker, never had a weight issue until I quit (10y ago), and I rarely drink. Portion control/haagen daz salted caramel addiction are my weak spots. But seriously - I just don't seem to be able to do this but my god I am so sick of being fat.

Please can someone - anyone - really help me understand how I can do this? I'm 41 next week and my divorce has just come through - this is NOT how I want to spend my 40s.

Hello, I didn’t want to leave you unanswered. Firstly, don’t beat yourself up for trying numerous diets and failing...diet clubs are essentially setting you up to fail. I know very, very few people who have lost weight and kept it off long term!

I’m now working on a combination of Paul Mckenna’s Weight loss books and Brain over binge (the book and podcast). I’m trying to listen to my body, eat well (plenty of nutritious foods but also what I really fancy). I’m combining this with recognising where my binge urges come from and challenging them when they come up. I’ve only been doing this a few weeks. I’ve not shed loads of weight but I feel happier in myself for the first time in years!

I run (I know you can’t) but you need to find some form of exercise you can fit in around your life and routine. I put my gym kit on a run on my days off straight after the school run (so no get out excuses!). Even if it’s just getting an old wii fit or Pilates dvd - could you up your activity like that?

Good luck to you. I do get how frustrating it is.

Yeah diets don’t work.Makes me just think of food all the time.
I think you have hit the nail on the head with portion control.
I find if I try to portion control it helps as I can’t eat as much after a few days.
Would it be worth you taking a picture on your phone of everything you eat in a day so you can see where to change things.

There is a Facebook page I've been following for a while which might help you. It's basically called diet rehab as the guy who owns it talks a lot of sense about staying off the 'diet' wagon and away from diet culture. His focus is about eating good food, intuitive eating and getting fitter.

All the diets like Slimming World and suchlike do not work long term and don't teach you a thing about nutrition and IMO set you up to fail (and keep paying them!)

If you're on Facebook, look up Rebelfit and you'll find a link to join the diet rehab closed group. He also has 'missions' you can sign up to via his website if you feel you need more that the Facebook page alone offers. Good luck.

I am going to say the opposite to PP and say that a very rigid diet plan will work.

I have just finished a 6 week fitness challenge. I am not overweight but I did want to lose weight and build muscle - change my shape for the challenge. I find that loosely following diet plans never works for me as I find it all too easy to just nibble a bit of this, or sneak a taste of that. Then give up.

So this time I had a nutrition plan which I had to follow to the letter. Due to there being so many meals I would prep all the main meals (and some of the snacks) in bulk. That way when it came to meal time I could just grab it out of the fridge and reheat. No effort. No excuses. It was boring eating the same foods but successful.

It worked for me as I think I am an all or nothing personality. I did not cheat once. No sneaking of anything - sweets, booze, cheese.

The diet was high protein, medium fat and low carbs - great for keeping me full up and not wanting to snack/cheat.

Something like that could work for you? Obviously it would be over a longer period but you can build in more 'fun' foods too.

I have tried SW and WW in the past and once the initial few weeks had passed my weight loss stalled. I think their ways of eating don't work for me. Too many 'fake' foods, sweeteners etc. Also the success is measured by the scales which can be disheartening if weighing in every week. Some weeks the body will hold on to water/weight - for no good reason.

I bet you can do this OP - you just need the tools and motivation.

You can do this OP. Just think how much better you will feel about your appearance, even from that first pound of weight loss. One pound leads to two pounds and before you know it you've lost half a stone, and then a stone. Just remember as long as you are losing, even of it's a pound a week, you are losing not gaining. You can do it just by cutting down by the smallest amount. Good luck.

Reporting back to say that I am now 2 stone under where I was when I originally posted.

I signed up to Exante. Yes maybe a con to many but I follow it to the letter 5 days a week and take it a little easier on the other two. I still have my wibbly belly, but my taste buds are changing and my jeans getting looser.

Woohoo! Well done you. So nice to hear stories like this. Hope your losses continue steadily and you get to a place you are happy with and can maintain. Keep on keeping on!