30 years of dieting. Doesn't seem to have worked.

[vivariumvivariumsvivaria]

This year marks 30 years of me trying to lose weight.

I reckoned it was time to recognise that I losing weight is not my skill. In 30 years of devotedly "Starting Again But This Time I Mean It"s - I have gained 5 stones.

So, I'm having blood pressure problems, am bloody knackered and fed up of being sweaty (never mind in this heat!), my back hurts, my knees creak and I make that grunting sound when I get up from a chair. Ugh.

I spoke to the GP, who agreed to refer me to the NHS Fat Clinic - the waiting list was 4 months. I was going to lose the weight so I would be discharged fast. My appointment is in 1 month...I've put on half a stone as a swan song to the glory that is a tunnocks teacake.

I am REALLY good at sticking to diet/activity/whatever for about 3 weeks.

I am better at bingeing, denying and hoping that the Thin And Healthy Fairy will appear overnight.

My health is suffering, I have three kids. I don't want to be super thin, but, I'd really like to have a normal BP, more energy and to be able to run a 5k.

I'd also quite like to be able to see my pubes without having to lift my belly out the way.

All I need to do is move more, eat less carbs and not "reward" myself with wine and crisps at the weekend for "being so good all week". It takes 3500kcal deficit to lose a pound. There's 1000kcal in a bottle of wine and more in a tub of pringles. This seems unfair, as I quite like munching my way through that on a Saturday night whilst watching crap tv after everyone else has gone to bed.

So, here's my goals:

• learn what a portion is (am ahead here, I know a bottle is not a portion of wine)
• learn to notice and taste what I am eating (so, no more inhaling food in front of the tv)
• learn to notice when I am hungry ("stop when you are full"??? No idea what that might feel like. I've never eaten till I've puked, not sure that's what they mean)
• 10 000 steps a day (it takes so looooooong, and I am so busy)
• sleep better (so, stop sitting up all night bingeing, irritatingly, calories still count after witnesses have gone to bed)
• don't get cross about slip ups and use that as an excuse to give up
• not die of Fat Fuckerness before I am 50

Anyone fancy a mutual support/rant/celebration of small non-scale-victories thread?

Its not a "diet"
its a "way of eating"
and its for ever
not till you hit a target weight

aim to change slowly and sustainably so that you only have to do it one more time

and every day starts fresh, not judged by the day before

I have been trying to lose the same weight for years. Something recently has shifted in my brain and I'm now 10lb down. I'm low carbing and that has made a huge difference. Still having wine in the evening and a packet of something savoury - individual packets help with portion control.

I have treated myself in other ways. The first few pounds I bought myself flowers as a reminder through the week of how well I was doing. This week to celebrate 10lb I have bought a new handbag.

Slowly but surely.

Yes, that's a good point.

I do have a "diet" mindset. I actually like low carb food and moving.

I think I am defeated before I start - it's possibly miportnat to believe that change is possible. I expect I'll lose a stone, maybe a stone and a half and then put on two. Again.

Interesting point, thank you. I will mull it over as I go out for a long walk to buy tomatoes for tea.

Oh, enjoy your handbag.

That's ALSO a great idea. I'm not good at rewarding myself.

Man, I need to give myself a shake.

Actually, no, bits of me have a different rhythm to other bits of me, that wouldn't be nice at all.

I have a countdown of rewards for each weight I am good at rewarding myself.

I am keeping a detailed food diary as well which really helps to stay focused. I also try to eat a 'rainbow' every day.

Come and join us on the Eating Less thread. We’re lovely, and we are actually succeeding in eating less!!

The problem with vegetables etc. They are boring when cooked normally. I clean eat because of stomach issues and am loosing weight without even trying. But I don't eat veg plain. I add garlic and herbs. That on a jacket pot is amazing.

is there really 1000 caps in a bottle of wine? I thought 600? oops!

I’ve found this book by Josie Spinardi helpful www.amazon.co.uk/Have-Your-Cake-Skinny-Jeans-ebook/dp/B00B9JKNBC/ref=la_B00BA1UKRQ_1_1?s=books&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&qid=1530468993&sr=1-1. Really eye opening on why dieting doesn’t work. Also Fat Is A Feminist Issue by Susie Orbach, but somehow the Josie Spinardi book was more helpful on a practical level. That might have been timing though, I think when I read FIAFI I was still at the stage of thinking I just needed more willpower.

Oooohhhhh Tunnocks Tea Cakes...or chocolate door knobs as they are known in this house!!!!

I try, kept weight off for good 15 years.... It's back !!!

Today is a new day.

I didn't lose any weight last week - but, then again, I didn't gain any weight last week.

That's good news Viv, I always have a loss the week after I maintain.

I love making an all you can eat salad bar - feels really indulgent but mostly minimal calories.

My new bag arrives today

Something AMAZING happened last night.

Kids in bed, well, on their way to bed. We'd eaten, I'd tidied, had had a loooong day and I really fancied a glass of wine and chocolate. My cupboards are groaning with chocolate because the kids have pals coming over today.

I thought "I'll do the dishes, see if I still fancy some then"

my brain was going "choooooooooooooclaaaaaaaaate"

"I'll hang up the washing, see if I still fancy some then"

"Choooooooooooooooooclaaaaaaaaaaate"

But, I KNEW that if I broke my "Healthier Eating It's Not A Diet" on a Monday I'd be bingeing for a week. Because all diets sorry, not diets start on a Monday, it is The Rule.

So, I had strawberries - I just wanted something sweet. Strawberries are yum. I really enjoyed them, craving went, job done.

This thread has made me realise that the problem is my attitude - I don't really believe I can lose weight. I have failed so many times, why would this one be any different?

So, I need to change that.

I also need to buy more strawberries.

Enjoy your bag, Syn.

There is a craft class I'd really like to do. Feels very self indulgent.

If I mean, when I lose a stone, I'm signing up for it.

I've ALREADY not-gained-any-weight, so, am winning...

Get yourself a Nutribullet. Chop up a carrot, an apple, a small beetroot (peeled) or a handful of spinach and AN other fruit. Add a small pot of yoghurt and low sugar juice or water. Blitz for 30 seconds. Repeat 2/3 times a day. It's seriously filling, seriously delicious and will make you feel so virtuous you won't notice the chocolate :)

Yes @vivariumvivariumsvivaria sounds like you're on the right track!!

I could have written your post - on day 4 of low carb (again) and climbing the walls looking for junk. My brain tries to tell me "it's ok, being fat isn't that bad. It's the way you're built. You already have a partner you don't need to impress anyone. Just start again tomorrow, one family size bar of galaxy won't hurt!"

I'm with you 100%, have a bit more to lose (1 stone down, 7 to go )

Keep us updated!!

I'm beginning to think that the secret is:

1. apply a few simple rules to your daily eating habits, and breezily tell yourself that's just how you choose to eat - it's not a diet, it's not a 'way of eating' (a.k.a. very long diet). It's just 'how you prefer to eat these days'

1. DO NOT EVER THINK ABOUT DIETING OR YOUR WEIGHT EVER EVER EVER AGAIN. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't even think about whether it will make you lose weight or not (takes the pressure off).

I've recently fallen off the low carb wagon (again). If it's too extreme I won't stick to it.

So... I choose to have no carbs at breakfast or lunch, no snacks or puddings except fruit, one sweet treat at the weekend if I really fancy it, but y'know - I might not . It's not a diet. It's just how I like to eat. Starting from today .

Do the craft class now! Ive started quite a lot of random things because they represent an hour a week when I won't be eating. Also because feeling better generally means less urge for wine.

You've lost a stone, Gravy?

Bloody impressive. Syn says you have to reward yourself - what are you going to do?

The "climbing the walls looking for junk" resonates with me. I CRAVE that feeling of being uncomfortably full and slightly buzzy sick feeling I get after eating enough sugar to make an elephant diabetic. It's weird, it's not like I enjoy the feeling of bingeing, I feel disgusting over it. I suspect it's simply habit.

And, yes, the whole "don't need to impress anyone" is a nonsense that I tell myself too. The person I want to impress is myself - I'd really like to have a look at myself in shop windows or in a full length mirror. I don't, haven't for years, cos, it's not a good look and makes me feel sad.

Sadness that's managed by eating.

FFS.

NutriBullet - Sarah-Lou. We've got a thing for making smoothies. Nice with ice-cream and chocolate syrup....

Kingkiller - practising

So far, managed a grimace. Working on it.

Annan - yes, that's true. I do feel better when I eat better, drink water and move my fat ass more.

It's fecking annoying. I was really hoping I was the outlier who thrived on lard and laziness. However, careful study suggests that I am not. Bah.

Hello

I'm in this same situation. The last time I lost a significant amount of weight I changed bad habits very gradually, as I am very good at being defeated at the start of things. So for the first week the only change I made was to drink 1.5l of water a day. Once I'd managed a week of that I continued with that but cut out eating after dinner. After that week I'd add a third thing etc. Like King, all very breezy and easy-peasy.

Then a change of circumstances knocked me off the wagon and I'm once again a total butterball.

One thing I learnt from low carbing is that sugar and refined carbs really do have a disastrous effect on my appetite. Resisting the first biscuit may be an effort of will, but it's easier than resisting the further 72 biscuits that I suddenly desperately crave after eating the first biscuit.

Another interesting thing I read somewhere is that the reason sugary junk makes us want to just keep eating is that the sugary junk has failed to nourish us. Our body is going "Oh come on! There were not nearly enough vitamins, minerals and protein in that packet of Wotsits! I will need at least 100 packets to fulfil my nutritional requirements - get on with eating them right now please!"

I don't think my eating brain is that sophisticated. It is essentially Joey Tribiani. 'One Wotsit = feels good! therefore 1000 Wotsits = 1000 x as good'

[Drinks water]

I can recommend orange squash. Surprisingly effective at fooling the earing brain.