Best diet for me?

[mancmummy1414]

Put three stone on in two years. Recently got used to eating way too much like 3000/4000 calories a day.
I need to get the weight off, it’s depressing me now.
Whenever I try to drastically reduce calories I get so starving and quit / give in. I’m so used to overeating now. I never used to be like this at all until I had children.
What diet would work for me without the excessive hunger? (Or how many calories should I reduce to initially?)
(Not Slimming World please)

How are your 3000/4000 calories being consumed?

Bigger mealtime portions but healthy food?
Unhealthy meals?
Eating between meals?
Evening binge eating?
High calorie drinks?

Embarrassed to say a combo of all (not on the same day!)

I have been clean eating because of my bad stomach. It has sorted out my stomach I don't have the cravings for sugary processed stuff. I have eaten when I'm hungry and always lost weight. Maybe try that.

Track everything you eat- in a notebook or on something like MyFitnessPal app. Track it honestly and you 'll see where you're going 'wrong'.
First things to cut out- sugary drinks- including fruit juice. Replace ideally with water but if you need a sweet hit, with no added sugar squashes. This alone could save hundreds of empty calories.
Sounds like you maybe need to try a low carb diet- if you low carb, 2000 calories a day is quite a lot of food. Depending on your height/ weight, this could be maintenance level and prevent you putting more weight on. Once you are in the routine, you could then reduce calories to lose weight?
Low carb can combined with cooking for family. You give your family the carbs and you just have the meat/ veg element.

Don't be embarrassed mancmummy1414. The first step is recognising that what you are currently doing is unhealthy and not sustainable.

I'd firstly focus on those healthy meals with a big portion, using this to completely stop all eating outside of meal times. So have massive, healthy meals to stop the hunger. So cut-out all the rest of the crap you eat.

Do you know what a <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.nhs.uk/Livewell/5ADAY/Documents/Downloads/5ADAY_portion_guide.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjhpsf2uenbAhWMDsAKHRmfC4sQFjABegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw0WEwzrl4MDQPQJzd1x5ZVh" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">portion if veg looks like?

It's way bigger than I was expecting. 1 portion if cooked carrot slices horse example is 3 heaped tablespoons. That's a lot of carrots on your plate for just 1 portion. It's at least one whole medium carrot each, sliced.

Broccoli it's 8 florets. That's over half a head of broccoli each. A cereal bowl full of spinach (a cereal bowl full, that's tons!).

If you're thinking of a salad then 1 cereal bowl full of lettice is a portion. That's a whole bowl of just lettice leaves, before you even add anything else. 7 cherry tomatoes. 10 radishes. 1 whole stick of celery, 14 mushrooms. You can make a really huge salad.

So if you aim for 3 or 4 full portions of veg, NOT just 3 or 4 different types of veg but a whole portion of each - that is a huge amount of food on your plate.

Then add in some protein (meat or pulses for example) and you have a massive amount of food you eat. If you ate this similar meal for lunch and dinner, then you have 6-8 veg portions per day, and you could add two fruit portions with breakfast. That is a massive amount of food for meal times, if you have the full amount of veg to make up each portion.

Maybe you're cutting too extremely? You should never be starving, it won't work that way. Have you used MyFitnessPal to see what your daily calories should be? I think it will be more than you think. Tracking your food is also important as re-education as we tend to underestimate what we eat.

Also, hunger is so much more than a need for food; it's so psychological, so if you feel starving, it might be worth exploring why you so dislike being hungry.

Good luck!

PS if you tell us your height, weight and activity level (desk job, or on your feet all day job) we can give you a rough amount of calories you should be aiming for!

Thank you all!
Just read these, ALL very helpful.
I am very educated on healthy food and have done it before, just can’t seem to get my mojo back with the sleep deprivation I’m suffering at minute and end up reaching for the chocolate and carbs
Going to try the low carb / massive plates of veg tomorrow!
My height is 5 stone 6.5, weight 13 stone 3.
Been 10 stone all my life, used to take pride in my appearance etc and feel so low about the weight gain I see no point getting my hair and nails done, wearing nice clothes like I used to etc.
Thanks again for all your help xx

Activity level, stay at home mum who also works part time (office based one day a week, rest from home) walk everywhere and constantly on the go with very active toddler!

I've found SlimmingWorld very helpful, I did it online as I didn't want to go to a group.
You can buy books on eBay if you didn't want to commit to going every week.
SW us great meal ideas and substitutions for your favourite things. It's easy to follow and I never felt hungry.
Would recommend

Sleep deprivation is a killer. It impacts on how (grotty) you feel every minute of the day. I'm not surprised you can't get your dieting mojo on. You really do feel weak and in need of comforting carbs when you're sleep deprived.
I'd say, go easy on yourself until you're getting enough sleep- aim for weight maintenance rather than loss.

Thanks northern, the reason I don’t want to do SW is I think for me it encourages negativity around food (the word ‘syn’ for example as well as obsessively counting) ideally I want to get into a lifestyle of eating healthily naturally (like I don’t think it’s natural to count ‘healthy a and b’ every day and not something I would be happy to do for life!) My goal is to get into a rhythm where I am eating healthy nourishing foods and actually enjoying them! Rather than thinking in terms of ‘speed’ and ‘free’ foods which can lead to overeating and doesn’t teach good habits around food in general.
I’ve tried it before and it wasn’t sustainable so put all the weight back on and I ended up binging on weigh day then eating nothing the day before. So many people keep coming back to SW because they lose, regain etc and I just want to get it off and keep it off!
Thanks for replying though - I know it has done wonders for the confidence for some of my friends, just doesn’t work for me!

Barbara, I doubt I will get enough sleep for the next few years and I just can’t be fat for that long!

So I've used a BMR calculator (Basal Metabolic Rate) to figure out what your body burns literally doing nothing (I guess that you were aged 35 for this). Knowing that, we can figure out your daily calorie needs incorporating exercise and movement which gives you 1926 calories per day. If you want to lose a pound a week (which is a safe and sustainable loss as I'm sure you know) you want to hit 3500calorie deficit each week, so 500 every day. So, you can and SHOULD eat up to 1426 calories each day (there should be plenty of room for a few squares of dark chocolate daily in there!). Play around a bit more, read about BMR, adjust for your accurate age and activity level. Most importantly, try it for real and see how your body reacts.

For what it's worth, I've been losing a pound a week for 7 weeks quite happily; recently upped my calories by 200 a day (as I was about to start a more intense exercise regime) and this last week lost 2.5 pounds (without having started said new exercise regime, just from upping calories)!!! It's baffling but there you go! The last thing you want to do is undereat - give your body what it needs

PS, don't worry, you are just in a slump, we all hit them now and again! You can definitely get back to 10 stone, it will just take some focused effort and changing some of the habits you've fallen into. Try and get back your enjoyment for dressing nicely, doing your face etc if that is important to you; you shouldn't only be happy about how you look if you're slim, iyswim? Love yourself, the diet and weight loss will be more likely to follow, is what I'm trying badly to say!

Ada, thank you so much for taking the time to do that for me!
You’ve all been SO helpful, I’m going to try and stick to that calories allowance whilst filling up on low calorie foods.
I’ve got rid of my scales this morning as it demotivates me, and going to try to think of this as a lifestyle change.
No more bad snacks in the house! Watching TV at night when sleepless toddler eventually passes out with exhaustion is one of my trigger points when I reach for the biscuit tin, so going to try healthier snacks like fruit, crudités etc. Feeling positive!

Yay good for you!!! Also, pay close attention to what kind of foods truly fill you up (I adore all carbs, but they really aren't filling for me sadly!). A lot of people find fat very satiating in that way (good fats, like yoghurt, avocados, hummus, nuts can then be used as snacks). Other people prefer lean proteins. See how your body responds. What I've learnt from using myFitnessPal and keeping my calories in deficit is that I can eat anything I want (all my treats etc - the week I lost my 2.5 lbs I had crisps 5 days a week !). BUT, you can't eat however much of what you want. As long as you stick in your calorie range, you'll lose weight, and to stick to that calorie range you should hopefully start having nutritious foods because they keep you feeling full and satisfied.

Good luck, use this thread as a diary if you want to keep your motivation!! I'll cheer you on when I can!!