Just realised my whole life I've been fat when in a couple, thin when single. HELP!

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

I only just realised I've only ever been thin when I was single, or just casually dating. As soon as I've got into a long-term relationship, I've piled on weight. Why??

I got divorced a few years ago and lost 4 stone. I then met now DH and managed to maintain my weightless. But within a MONTH of our wedding, I'd piled on a stone and now (3 years on), I'm after than I've ever been.

I don't think it's comfort or anything... What could it be?

fatter than I've ever been. Not "after".

I'm quite the same really. I put on relationship weight. I think it must have something to do with eating out more and having evenings in drinking/eating too.
When I'm single I find that I don't drink as much and I eat less - cooking dinners for one isn't really as enjoyable as cooking for two, so I'll quickly make something smaller.

Could you be eating the same size portions to your husband?

Just stay single forever? That's what I plan on doing haha

If this one doesn't work out, I'm definitely staying single!

I might be having the same portions at my (6'4", shithouse-built) DH. Hmm.

I've also noiced men want to eat a proper dinner every evening. Whereas I'd quite happily graze all day, and then either eat nothing at night, or some random thing like a boiled egg or a cheese string.

Plus, IME, men think nothing of spending £100+ on trolleys of food every couple of weeks. I'd never do that, left to my own devices.

Is there a cure? I have DC so can't completely abandon the family meal table to munch on an apple alone. But what can I do?

Detox tea?

only joking

I do low carbing and it works for me, but I'm not religious about it. I still have a takeaway once a week which has rice.

For me it’s a stress thing: when I split with someone the stress affects my appetite and I can’t eat properly. I lost 3 stone when I divorced XH and at least 1.5 recently when I split from DP for a time. He also lost some weight - for him he focuses on weight loss/fitness as a distraction and also to get ‘buff’ for dating again. For me it’s not so conscious - it’s more organic.

When I’m happy and content I can shovel it in night and day - my dp and I are big foodies - don’t drink or smoke etc so nice food is our only ‘vice’.

When I’m single I’m poor too, so can’t afford to eat out all the time, whereas having a DP who wants to treat me and will happily pop out for ice cream at 11pm makes me put on weight

Could you get yourself a smaller plate to have your dinner on so you don’t end up with the same size portions as your OH? If I eat the same as my OH I gain loads of weight

Detox tea?! LOL! Never again! Not now DH shares my bathroom...

A smaller plate is a great idea! Thank you - that's a really simple, easy start. And we have posh side plates that match our posh dinner plates, so I won't feel like I'm eating dinner off a Punishment Dish.

to get ‘buff’ for dating again

I think that's wghy I'm skinnier when I'm single. It's almost like my life is a cycle of dieting to attract men, getting one, shovelling in crap to get rid of him, being single, starting again.

I still remember your detox tea thread, it was hilarious! Please diet again, you're so entertaining

Well, I'm proper lardy now, so I could! It might be the boost I need. You were all such fun, chiming in with the weirdest crash-diets you'd torn out of your mum's Cosmopolitans back in the 80s! I loved it.

You’re more content, and possibly easily led by peer pressure of partners to eat more.

You're funny when you're hungry 😂