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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Why am I overweight? I can't work it out

129 replies

Gibralter · 07/04/2018 10:17

It just doesn't make sense to me. I track every last thing in my fitness pal and I've been eating this way for about 5 months. I'm only overweight by a pound or two but surely I should be a lot slimmer?

Typical days food is:

Two slices of seeded brown bread with low fat spread and marmite OR porridge with blueberries on top OR a glass of fresh orange juice, two eggs and a small slice of toast.

Lunch: Rivita crackers topped with a 20 Calories laughing cow spread, cucumber OR avocado toppings, with banana and Diet Coke, OR sometimes I have for lunch a very small portion of last night's dinner.

Dinner: Vegetable curry (home cooked, low fat), OR vegetable rice and chicken, OR low fat Bolognese OR pesto pasta.

Snacks: Passion fruit (one), banana, raspberries (a handful or so), and sometimes on a Friday, a chocolate brought home by DH. It's rare I have more than 2 of these snacks a day.

Where am I going wrong?

I don't secretly eat other things, I'm also breastfeeding. I walk mostly everywhere. I go up and down a big hill with shopping etc.

I'm not very active indoors but is anyone, apart from my cleaning?

OP posts:
NotUmbongoUnchained · 08/04/2018 17:41

If you’re miserable, which it sounds like you are, then I would look at upping your exercise instead. Dreading meal times is no way to live and you’ll just end up with disordered eating. Find an exercise you love and try and do it everyday. You can get away with eating more then!

Twoweekcruise · 08/04/2018 17:48

Imo, baby weight is the hardest to shift, you are often tired from lack of sleep, breast feeding and recovering from child birth etc. I'm a size 8 and it took me ages and ages to shift the weight - and I eat like a sparrow! What helps me is to eat 16.8, I start breakfast around 10am and finish eating at 6pm. I don't weigh or calorie count anything, nothing is off limits. I eat on side plates and small bowls and eat small amounts of carbs. That works for me.We are all different and not all ways of eating work for everyone. But don't put too much pressure on yourself, you've not long had your baby.

BIWI · 08/04/2018 17:52

@chandlersfraud and @Eolian I hear you and I totally get you.

It's hard, because the world isn't made for low carbing. You have to work hard at it, plan ahead and be totally committed to it. I don't always succeed myself!

However, what keeps me (mostly) low carbing is everything I've read about it as a way of eating and its overall health benefits - so much more than losing weight. So many people, just like you, talk about how much better they feel generally when they low carb, which also convenes me. For myself, although I started low carbing to lose weight, it also helps to keep my IBS and candida under control.

One thing I must point out, @Eolian, is the low carbing is not about cutting out a whole food group. It's low carb. And there's nothing in the rule book that says we have to eat bread, rice, pasta, potatoes, sugar and chocolate! You can eat perfectly normal meals without anyone questioning what you're doing - so using your children as a reason for not low carbing is a bit of an excuse.

And also, importantly, if you are wanting to lose weight, which is why you're low carbing, there's absolutely nothing to stop you eating toast or bread, or rice/pasta, or potatoes with your meals once you reach your goal - as long as you keep your overall carbohydrate level down, and - as a proportion - lower than the amount of protein and fat you're eating.

KirbyCane · 08/04/2018 17:52

Simple. You're eating more calories than you're burning. You either need to cut back on calories or increase exercise. It really is that simple.

I've put on weight over the past couple of years and am really unhappy. I don't eat a huge amount however have neglected the gym which is absolutely why I have put weight on!

OliviaPopeRules · 08/04/2018 18:09

Op, if you are only having 1600 kcal per day and doing the exercise you are you should defo have a lower weight. I wonder if your metabolism is messed up form long periods of dieting. I follow a guy on Facebook called Richie Howie who talks a lot about this and recommends getting your metabolism back in balance if you are doing what you are and to losing. I think it means eating at your TDEE for a few weeks and then trying to lose. I think he has some stuff on youtube/facebook so have a look. It's all based around calories in and out and macros so no BS but a lot of the stuff is interesting. I don't work for them or get commission but it might give you some ideas!

Foodylicious · 08/04/2018 18:27

I don't think you need to reduce your carbs any further.
I lost really well on slimming world.
Try making sure you are having a third non-carb veg with every meal.

Try upping your water too.

How much tea/coffee do you drink? Do you get through a lot of milk?
You need to make sure you are having two portions worth a day with breast feeding, so 30g full fat cheese and 300mls milk for example.

EthelHornsby · 08/04/2018 18:43

I lost weight as soon as I stopped breast feeding too

Eolian · 08/04/2018 20:19

And there's nothing in the rule book that says we have to eat bread, rice, pasta, potatoes, sugar and chocolate!

It depends what you mean by the rule book tbh. The rule book of 'normal', 'non-faddy' eating, as most people see it, very much does include bread, rice, pasta and potatoes. My daughter sees her father eat plenty of carbs and remain a healthy weight. She is an absolute carb fiend herself and is very slim.

BIWI · 08/04/2018 20:42

The rule book as determined by you then Confused

No-one says that you have to eat carbs. And a lot of people do eat them and don't gain weight. It's a sad fact that some people can eat a lot more carbs every day and not gain weight than others.

And not eating carbs at every meal is not faddy. Unless you decide it's so. If you think it's faddy, then fair enough. Your choice.

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2018 06:51

The rule book of 'normal', 'non-faddy' eating, as most people see it, very much does include bread, rice, pasta and potatoes

I must have not got my copy of that rule book that says I should eat that stuff at meals.

Do you have any other rules we should be aware of. Like chocolate cake for afters or something? 😂

frutti · 09/04/2018 08:03

FWIW the weight dropped off me after two things. 1. I stopped breastfeeding that was just making me hungry and 2. After the doctor told me there was nothing medically wrong with me and to track calories and exercise. My Fitbit has been a godsend. There are some days I am pretty inactive without realising it because I might have been running around all week however it would be those days I’d eat more, sit down more and inevitably put on weight.

I now count everything and weigh everything and track my exercise roughly on my Fitbit.
I was 4 stone overweight Blush lost it all when I finally figured it’s just me overeating in comparison to what I do for exercise not what government guidelines tell me I need to be consuming.

Eolian · 09/04/2018 08:26

Maybe I'm living in some kind of parallel universe then. But in real life, everyone I know (with one exception) expects their meals to be pretty carb-based. Typically cereal/toast for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch, dinner generally involving rice, pasta or potatoes. Obviously individual people don't have to eat that way, but that is the norm, and that's why it's difficult to maintain a low carb diet without people thinking you're faddy or without finding it pretty inconvenient and incompatible with family or social life. They are not my 'rules', Bluntness. They are simply the unwritten rules of how the vast majority of people (in the UK at least) eat. I'm surprised that this is surprising to you tbh.

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2018 18:13

I don't think you live in a parallel universe but i find your thought process that if everyone you know does it then it becomes an unwritten rule and you have to do it.

The vast majority of people eat a lot of sugary shite. Do you feel uou need to becayse they do? The vast majority also like a drink on a weekend. Do you feel you need to drink because they do? That these are also unwritten rules to be followed?

I've never been carb heavy. I don't and never have eaten breakfast. If I was going to I'd have some scrambled eggs, an omelette, some cheese and ham, or some full fat yoghurt and berries. I do not feel I should eat cereal or toast because many others do. My husband and daughter can do so if they wish.

For lunch I will eat a salad, egg, tuna, cheese, ham, whatever. Most places which sell sandwiches sell salads. I am not perceived as a weirdo for not chosing the sandwich. I don't tell others not to chose the sandwich.

For dinner, I like a meat, chicken, ham, lamb, beef, with a variety of vegetables, broccoli, cabbage, Brussels, peppers, mushrooms, cauliflower cheese etc. Done in a variety of different ways, no one screams I need to eat a potato becayse everyone else does.

On sat we went out for dinner. I had a steak and a salad. I asked the staff to switch the chips for the salad. No one looked appalled. The staff did not scurry away to talk about me in hushed tones.

For snacks I eat things like cheese, olives, clotted cream and berries etc.

My diet is healthy and varied, there are proven health benefits, there is nothing faddy about it because I don't shove bread and chocolate down my neck. There is no unwritten rule that I need to eat what the "vast majority" of others eat. Nor do I need to drink what they drink, I am an adult who has free will and can make my own choices.

You eat what you want, but please don't try to tell me my way of eating is faddy because there are apparent unwritten rules based on what others eat, there is no such thing.

Caramina · 09/04/2018 19:07

Not sure you've added this (not read the whole thread) but what do you drink on a daily basis?

Eolian · 10/04/2018 21:18

You eat what you want, but please don't try to tell me my way of eating is faddy because there are apparent unwritten rules based on what others eat, there is no such thing.

I don't think it's faddy and I've already said that I believe in the benefits of it. I did Bootcamp, lost weight on it and felt great. But it ended in me falling off the wagon and putting the weight back on, which is what happens with the vast majority of people on the vast majority of diets. All I'm trying to say is that LC might be easier to stick to from a purely hunger pov but it is harder from a social/family pov because it's at odds with the way most people eat. Cutting out sugary stuff is one thing, but refusing all grains, potatoes, rice etc as well can be a massive pain.

I'm surprised that you are so scathing about the idea that other people's eating habits and the types of food which are commonly provided in social situations might have an impact on the ease of eating a restricted diet. Incidentally, is 'shoving down your neck' something that only happens with the dreaded carbs?

Bluntness100 · 10/04/2018 21:44

For me, pretty much yeah, it's the only thing I would shove down my neck. I think it's the insulin spikes that drive cravings.

I agree it is hard at something like a work buffet but I've never struggled elsewhere genuinely. People who have cooked for me recently made a chilli and a curry, I just ate mine with salad, both hosts were happy to provide.

I don't struggle in restaurants and have always been able to find options that work. if I do have a rare problem, i have no issue falling off the wagon and climbing straight back on the next day. It's not the end of the world to eat something high carb occasionally, you only gain the weight if you go back to your old eating habits which is what made you overweight in thr first place.

As for family dinners, no it's never a problem, I happily cook whatever carb accompaniment for the main part of thr dish, or my husband does if he is cooking,, be it rice, potatoes or pasta, but no one pressurises me to eat it. I simply eat salad or veg with the main part instead whilst they have thee carb accompaniement.. No biggie. I still have a big plateful. So no not an issue in family life either.

I honestly don't understand how anyone struggles with it, as said, for me it's never been a problem, no one demands I have potatoes and not salad, and if it comes to it, which is very rare, I don't stress, will eat what's available, and then just go back to low carb the next day.

However I'm fully aware lots of people can't do it or don't want to. If it's not a way of eating for you, and your family and social life make it difficult, then it's not for you. It simply is relatively simple for me,,different things work for different people and no one I know perceives it as faddy or something complex to cater to.

AreWeDoingThisNow · 10/04/2018 22:07

Not read the full thread, but I found that I maintained weight whilst breastfeeding until DD started being more mobile (around 8 months) and then it suddenly started dropping off, and I had to up my calorie intake until we dropped to only feeding at night.

Waterlemon · 10/04/2018 22:20

“Nine months on, nine months off” as the old saying goes.

When your body is ready, you will drop that extra weight.

For now eat regularly, drink plenty of water and enjoy your baby. Don’t be worrying and analysing over every last morsel- and hide the scales till you finish BF!

LemonysSnicket · 10/04/2018 22:55

I’m 5’4 and my BMR is 1500 kcal to maintain. Google your BMR it’s probably much lower than you think - 2000 is bullshit

chandlersfraud · 11/04/2018 09:58

@bluntness100 I'm very envious of how you seem to have it sorted and it sounds so easy!
As I said upthread I believe in the benefits and have felt better and lost weight low carbing. But it frustrates me so much that I don't know why I can't just 'get back on' if I fall off the wagon and eat something sugary/Carby. It just seems to flick a switch in me and I go crazy.
Or, I do sort of get back on the wagon but with frequent slips and the carbs creep back in so before I know it I'm eating high fat high carb with the inevitable consequences!

Dottydotts · 11/04/2018 11:04

Your breastfeeding and reducing your calories. How old is your baby?

Bluntness100 · 11/04/2018 11:05

To be fair I've just lost a couple of dress sizes as I broke my ankle and then sat on my arse eating carbs and surprise surprise, gained weight, so am just back to normal. However yes, I can maintain on this for years, you just need to get yourself into a routine and a mindset...

yadanada · 11/04/2018 20:25

Google breastfeeding bmr. Not sure how old you are but according to one, at 10 stone and 5’3 your bmr including breastfeeding is 1512. This means it’s highly unlikely likely you’ll lose unless you cut down your calories.
What’s right for someone at 5’3 is not the same as someone who’s say 5’7 etc
Many shorter people fail to realise how few calories they can eat despite their diet looking ‘too little’ for taller people.
I’d probably wait until after you stop breastfeeding as it’s hard to cut back then, calculate your bmr online and use that as a guide. Get a Fitbit to prove a rough estimate of exercise. All the above helped me anyway.
Every single person on this planet has a level of calories that will allow them to lose weight. Low carbs or no low carbs, everyone loses weight when their calories put weight their exercise

Helspopje · 12/04/2018 14:22

my breast feeding bmr comes put at 2000+
Hahahaha
1200 more likr

halfwitpicker · 12/04/2018 14:28

It's a no brainer OP.

You are still eating more than your body needs.

Take in fewer calories and then you'll lose weight.

In your case I'd recommend low carbing.

'Just had lunch, mixed veg salad with some Rivita and fake chicken and I'm bloody starving'

Well, yes, of course!! Hmm

Instead have: a massive dressed salad with fat (oil, cheese) and protein (egg, chicken, tuna), you should feel full and it should see you over until dinner.

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