Breakthrough with counsellor

[teaiseverything]

Don't really know why I'm posting this. I think I'm just finding being open about weight struggles better than staying silent and ashamed.

I was never ever overweight until I started to comfort eat to escape the pain of chronic illness. I didn't start comfort eating until I was about a year into my illnesses and thought, "Shit, this isn't going away." I've never personally had issues with food but I've had times when I've gone hungry, been homeless etc. I also watched my mum binge eat when I was young. She was a single parent and there was always a big panic around payday and just cramming the kitchen full of as much food as she could afford, obviously.

After just two counselling sessions, she pointed out what I'm doing with my eating and it hadn't even struck me. My meals are all really healthy, I drink about 3 litres of water and green tea each day. All is well.....until about 8pm. Then, I go to the corner shop, get a few chocolate bars and disappear into the room to watch something on the laptop with a cup of tea and loads of chocolate. She pointed out that it's the only time of the day where I stop mentally punishing myself for not being able to work, stop punishing myself for what I haven't been able to achieve yet (delays caused by illnesses), stop feeling like I'm not good enough. It's the one time of the day where I just shut off and chocolate has become synonymous with this.

So, I'm trying to get through this in 2 ways (and really just taking a day at a time):

1. Allowing myself proper mental breaks during the day. Even if it's 2 x 30 mins, I'm to make a cuppa and watch something on the telly, whatever. Just something nice for myself and not to feel guilty about it. This should help counteract me leaving this feeling of escape until the end of the day.
2. I'm also having SW baked oats as a "dessert" instead of a breakfast and it's helping me hugely.

The mind is so powerful, I know many of us struggle with it. I really would encourage those struggling with their weight to attend counselling because her one small recognition has been huge for me.

This makes a lot of sense! Very well done for making an effort to face your demons. I hope your new plan works, it sounds very promising.

Thanks for posting that, it will surely help someone else to reflect on (broadly) similar issues that they hadn't even considered.

It does very much show the value of working with a counsellor.