Childbirth weight loss Feeling low

[Hannabee123]

Hi everyone

3 weeks today I gave birth to my daughter and since then I have been diagnosed with depression and I'm desperately trying to get to grips with being a first time parent. Nothing really prepared me for how horrific a newborn can be. Anyway I'm not whinging I'm just getting on with things and trying to do my best to look after her / everyone else and occasionally myself.

I put on a fair bit of weight during pregnancy which for the most part was due to work. I had a battle with them throughout my pregnancy as they treated me unfairly. I was sitting and travelling for 15 hours + a day and working all hours under the sun morning / nights. Weight crept on and now I've given birth I have what I can only describe as a big, scarred, wrinkly deflated pouch. Don't get me started on the rest of the podge but my stomach is what's causing me the most distress. I'm 23 and I feel like I'm never going to have a decent looking body again. My stomach is still covered in huge stretch marks which is making it look saggy.
I could cry every time I look at myself naked.

My partner came in the room after I had a shower and I hid until he went away.

My diet isn't awful but I can't find the motivation to go out and exercise with a newborn.

Please help how did you all manage to feel better about yourselves after giving birth?

I am 5 weeks in. Holding your hand.

Are you getting help for the depression? I had PND with my first and the medication really helped. What was also good was going for a walk with the buggy every afternoon during the witching hour (4-5pm ish). It’s worse this time of year though as it’s so cold and dark outside.

After 3 weeks your body is still in shock. Please don’t try and exercise or worry about your weight or shape. It took 9 months to change, there’s no way it can just ping back in 3 weeks.

Give yourself a break! Your body has been through so much and now you're on duty 24hrs a day and adjusting to life with a newborn.

Focus for now on eating for energy op , leave the weight loss for now.Yes , your body has changed , but that's okay and totally normal.

I had my third child 12 weeks ago and am a stone heavier than before. I've only just started counting calories because us women deserve a break after everything pregnancy puts us through , right?

You need give yourself a massive break! You just gave birth!! Your body just made a human!

I'm 4 months post birth and I'm starting to look and feel like my old self again. I'm in my 20s as well.

I know it can be disheartening to look at your own body and not see someone you know, and post-natal depression can really skew the way you see things. Try to accept the changes that you're facing, it will make it easier to bond with your baby if you remember that this is temporary and one day you will definitely think that it's all been worth it.

Controversial I know, but it took me weeks to bond with my baby and for a while I didn't think that any of it had been worth it, so I do understand how you feel. At first I missed my old body too and I did feel really down about the way that I looked, but it will change for you even if it takes a little time. Your partner will love you for who you are and understand that the way you look is the result of bringing his child into the World. My husband really helped with my self-confidence, have you tried talking to him about how you feel?

Remember you're doing amazing- having a baby is fucking hard work. You're not alone

I was you five years ago.
I out on four stone with my ds, had an emergency section, felt like a deflated balloon, the section scar was twice the size of what it should be, things went very wrong. I was bruises down, bleeding and awful.
I got home from the hospital, after having the twelve lb child removed from me, and I had lost five lb! I was so swollen from the drip I had been in for four days.
After three weeks my stomach was still pregnant, I felt hideous.
I started exercising in secret. By nine weeks I collapsed in my mother in laws bathroom floor after doing sit ups in there in the middle of the night. Woke up in an ambulance. Did a lot of damage, internally, externally, it was horrible. Six weeks of exercising insecret, not eating,properly. And I was drinking too.

What I wish I could d is go back and rescue myself.
You have given birth to a human being, an amazing human being. And your body needs to be treated nicely. Moisturising oils, nice bath products, rest, nourishing food. It's given you a huge gift and now you need to give back to it. If looking at your stomach upsets you, it did me, I started massaging it without looking. At first I could barely touch it without feeling sick, but I made myself. And it got better. The stretch marks faded to silver, the ouch deflated, and the giant scar, well it's still purple, but the remains of my pouch cover it.
I also invested in permanent big knickers to wear, they pull me in a bit, and I can't then see the mess that's left. They go up to my tummy button, and cover it all up. Yes, I'm a mess, and after my new baby is born, god knows what I'll be left with or how I will feel but I will try and remember what I am writing here.

Be nice to yourself. You have done something amazing.

P.s what I did at about this stage was go for a haircut, leave the baby with DH, and then had lunch on my own. It was lovely. I also shopped for nice bath shit, and then used it. I also bought nice giant knickers.

Yeah I have Prozac and some councelling to help which is great but I just feel so ugly and low.
I don't want to sound superficial because I'm really not.. but I never used to leave the house without a little makeup. Now? I go out without makeup and I'm proud as long as I'm wearing something that isn't my pyjamas. I feel like I don't care about my looks at all and then it gets me down because I feel so frumpy and gross but I realise it's not about me anymore it's about my daughter. She needs to be looked after and if that means I don't do my hair then fine.

I just want to feel good about myself I am so desperate to feel pretty. I know I shouldn't be hard on myself but it's a massive adjustment

I've tried to walk a few times around the street but stitches and sore joints made it uncomfortable. It's getting better so I can probably go out walking again soon

My DD is 8 months and I’d just say it all takes time; from getting used to being a parent to feeling better about your body.
I know finances are tight with a baby but it really helped me just to get a few tops that were forgiving on my tummy and I felt looked half decent as my maternity stuff was too baggy and I didn’t go near my pre pregnancy stuff until I felt ready.
It takes a few weeks for your tummy to properly go down and when your baby is so little there is just no energy or motivation to think about losing weight. Give yourself time and when things are a bit more settled you’ll feel more motivated and ready to be more active.

Please don't be hard on yourself after just 3 weeks. Honestly, if you just eat sensibly and go for plenty of long buggy walks, things will all start to fall back into place. No need to diet or start any crazy exercise routine (because who wants either of those when dealing with a newborn - sometimes you just need a bit of cake!!) just take little steps, and look after yourself. It can be really hard to motivate yourself to get out of the house, but I always remind myself that you never ever regret going for a walk!

It won't happen overnight, but in a few months you'll suddenly realised that the stretch marks have faded and that your belly has shrunk. You might never have the exact same body that you had before, but that's because you created a wonderful tiny human!

Here you go OP, my face when my baby was 3 weeks old. Now my hair is in a permanent bun and if I've had a bath I feel like a Goddess

I wish to god I could make you a cup of tea.
Your body needs love and care right now, not punishment. Sleep when you can get it, baths to soothe you. Maybe a special treat like a postnatal massage or a haircut, if you feel you can get away from baby for that long. Walking is lovely if you're up for it, and if it ever stops raining. Take it really easy at first, just round the block. Is there any chance your partner or mum could prepare you tasty healthy food?
Don't diet. Don't weigh yourself.

I felt pretty crap about my appearance after both births, but the weight comes off, it takes a while for most women. If you wanted to do exercise I'd leave it till about 5-6 weeks (depending on how your birth went - longer ifyou had a section) and then start with something specifically for post natal for the pelvic floor. And gentle stuff like walking, with or without baby. I did some running after my first kid (from about 7 weeks) but I'm not sure that's a great idea for your pelvic floor. Do you miss exercise or is it that you want to force your body back into shape? If you miss it and it makes you happy then finding an adapted form would be good, but I'd still leave it a few weeks. If it's just you want to lose weight it's probably easier done through diet, but focus on eating healthy rather than restricting anything. Your body has done amazing things and need nurturing.

I had periods of not loving my newborn with my frist daughter. I think this is incredibly common and not talked about much. I found the best thing to do was to snuggle naked in bed with her with just nappy on and look at every bit of this marvellous thing I'd made. I'd get mad at her for crying and the mess and the nappies and the faff of sorting out a winter newborn to go out. Sometimes it was better to just get back in bed! Baths with newborn are nice too, with someone to hand the baby to you.

Talk to your partner. Talk to us. Glad you're getting some help with your mood too.

I don't think you sound superficial and I think most women understand this.

I had periods of not loving my newborn with my frist daughter. I think this is incredibly common and not talked about much. Amen squidkid

I looked like and felt that after the birth of my ds.The weight will come off but in time.Dont do drastic diets I tried the Cambridge diet 6 weeks after birth and I fainted.You can't get rid of stretch marks but you will get used to them although admittedly it took me years to get used to mine.My fitness pal app is good as you monitor your calories but I wouldn't be thinking about this til at least 3 months in x

Thanks everyone you've all made me feel better already. I just have my head stuck in my arse thinking I should be perfect :(

Big hugs Hannah. Be kind to yourself, it’s understandable to feel like you’ve been hit by a truck and your former life has gone! It does pass, though life is never the same again... but the shell shocked newborn bit does pass.

Bit of sun finally peeking through here up North. Hope you have a nice weekend. X