so depressed about my weight...dd 10 weeks old...advice needed deperately

[weewilliewinkie]

I'm 11 stone now, usual weight pre-pregnancy should be about 9-9.5 stone. I'm only 5' 3'' and I'm really feeling sick of myself. None of my clothes fit properly, I have such a wobbly tummy and love handles..when I see photos of myself my face looks fat, my norks are huuuuge, I'm utterly fed up.

So, because I'm bf'ing, does that mean I actually should not diet? I'm making the effort to cut out the crap, drink more water and have got Davina's dvds which I try to do but I'm just too tired to be that motivated!
What can I do? If I could just shift a few pounds while still bf'ing I'd feel so much better. I don't want to cut out carbs, I'm always starving come dinner time and I need to fill up. My milk supply isn't as good when I don't eat enough.

This is all a pain, my dh is going on at me to get to the gym and I can tell he's dying for me to get back to normal. Puts more pressure on and gets me down even more.

Any words of wisdom, hints, tips...? Help!

bless you. firstly you have an 11 week old stop putting so much pressure on yourself and tell your dp to fuck off. your b'feeding so cant diet, drink loads of water and cut out the crap but please chill out and enjoy your newborn. the weight will come of eventually, i promise

Tell dh to get lost. You need to eat healthily if you are bfeeding - wait until you stop bfeeding to diet and in the meantime be safe in the knowledge that you are providing a fantastic start in life for your baby.

Remember the saying (don't know where it came from but its true..) - it took 9 months to put the weight on - it should take 9 months to lose it.

If you feel like you need some exercise - get out walking with the pram - I used to do an hour a day when ds was asleep - the fresh air can do wonders for your state of mind and stops you feeling quite so sluggish...

Just try and chill out and stop worrying...

the thing is, for the last few weeks I have been walking loads with the buggy, not eating much bread, doing the dvds...and the weight is not going down at all. I'm not even toning up. It's so disheartening.

Thanks for replying...

THATS BECAUSE with an 11 week old you should be chilling out and enjoying her not doing davina!! your body takes time to adjust. plklease give yourself a break

I know...just feeling knackered and peed off today...have a 3 yr old ds too...it's all very tiring, this motherhood business..

bet you r knackered-does dp help?

a bit, when he's here, he's at work all day. He gets to the gym though!

v controversial reply this....have you thought about giving up breast feeding?

(puts hands over head to protect myself from fall out!)

I know that's not the 'right' thing to say BUT i am a big believer in happy mum = happy home = happy baby

I know breastfeeding is best for baby and all that but what about what's best for you? You've done nearly 3 mths of breast feeding and that's fantastic - what about switching to a bottle and then you can throw yourself into proper diet and exercise, the weight will start coming off and you'll soon see your pre preg figure returning.

I know all the literature says breastfeeding helps you get figure back but i've know a lot of my friends only started losing weight when they stopped breastfeeding.

I think it is SO important to feel good about yourself if you're going to cope with a baby - do something for yourself and don't feel guilty about it.

(sneaks away and awaits screaming mothers telling me how wrong I am)

I always found I lost weight while breastfeeding, but normally only once the baby started sleeping through. If you're tired, you're more inclined to eat crap, making weightloss impossible. After each DS, I ended up a bit thinner than I was before, and I'm sure breastfeeding was part of it.

You absolutely can diet while breastfeeding, and you don't have to have a good diet for the sake of your baby - the milk will still be the same, it's you who won't get enough nutrients.

It's unwise to lose weight too quickly while breastfeeding (more than 2 lbs/week) but then it's always unwise to lose weight that quickly, anyway.

Here is a page on dieting while breastfeeding.

After you eventually stop bf and are running around after a toddler, the weight will more than fall off!! In the meantime, I would try and eat healthily and not worry about the weight...

thanks for your support...have just been to the gym so feeling a bit better. But totally exhausted! It's just no fun, is it?

Xena- have to admit I did think about stopping the bf'ing, but dd's needs are greater than mine and I'd feel too guilty. I've got the rest of my life to lose the weight, and only plan to bf until she's about 6 months anyway. Maybe longer, I'll see. She gets a couple of bottles of formula a day anyway.

NQC - great link, cheers! I'll have a proper look later. It's good to know there are things I can do to speed up the weight-loss process...I'd be happy to get back down to 10 stone (and bloody delighted to get back to 9, but it's been many a year since I was that!).

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit cheerier today, the sun is shining and we're about to go out for a nice big [healthy-ish] lunch...

weewilliwwinkie - I can sympathise with you completely!! My dd is neary a year old and I still weigh 11 stone 4lbs! (normally 10 st 6lbs). Here's my twopennies worth...

I BF for 6 months, and having read everywhere that the weight would just 'fall off' while I was Bf I saw it as a license to eat crap...ice cream, crisps, choc. I put on more weight after dd was born cos of this. I kept tellin myself I couldn't diet cos I was BF even though I was really miserable being bigger. I decided to 'diet' and cut down, and I know it sounds funny, but I definitely noticed when expressing that my milk wasn't as creamy, very watery like skimmed milk. I thought 'sod this' and started on the choc again. I went out and bought cheap clothes (Tesco etc) in size 14 and made sure I looked nice, hair, make up etc. I stopped worryin about the weight, and decided to just diet when I stopped BF. My dd has always been a very content baby .

Since I stopped BF (last Oct) I have done WW and davina/swim/gym/walking miles with buggy etc.....I have lost 1 stone (wow!) and it has been a real struggle. I can't deny I am jealous of my friends who are back to being size 10 ( not that I've ever been size 10!), but I genuinely don't regret what I did last summer. My dd is perfectly happy, and that's worth it.

I am still struggling to lose weight, it's so hard, but I am more toned, and a size 12-14. I feel happy most of the time, just wanna lose the jelly belly!!!

I am fortunate that my dh loves the curvy woman, and hates stick thin women. I do feel that your dp could be more supportive (she says politely!).

If all else fails, weight watchers now work out how many points you are allowed taking into account if you are BF, you are allowed 10 extra points a day if you are. I think I would do this next time.

PLease don't worry, I know it's hard, I've been there, but be happy that you have a healthy baby. I know several people ttc or going thru IVF who would love to be in your situation (IYKWIM)

Thinking of you. Sorry for long post!!

luckymummy, thank you so much, what a great message! Well done in losing a stone, that's great. And I know how lucky I am to have 2 gorgeous children, don't get me wrong. I just wish child bearing didn't involve your body being ravaged!

as it happens, I am feeling a bit more positive about it all. I've just been for a run in the woods, it's a beautiful sunny day, and just to get out of the house and be on my own for an hour was nice. Although, I have to say, running is hard work and it sucks.

DH and I had a bit of a discussion this morning and I let him know how I'm feeling about his attitude towards me. He was a bit shocked and basically said that he wants me to be happier in myself, and he knows that that involves me shifting this excess weight. And obviously, he benefits too in having a wife he finds sexy and attractive ..

Anyway, we have a deal that at the weekends he'll take over the kids to let me go off and exercise, then when I come back he goes off and does the same, because as I pointed out, I don't want an ugly husband . TBH though, he's very fit anyway.

I think when I stop bf'ing altogether, I'll join ww or something similar just to push me in the right direction.

Thanks again x

Eat a healthy diet, and walk lots. I think some people lose weight when bf, and some people are genetically predisposed to keep a bit of weight (I call it baby fluff) in case the next ice age comes early. If you eat well and keep active, the weight will naturally come off within about a year. If you start messing around with your metabolism, you will be stuck with it for alot longer.

I don't think I would give up bf - wouldn't that be just another thing to beat yourself up about? Also, don't cut out carbs - I think thats just diet fashion. Things that stop me from eating unhealthily are:

• Always knowing where my next meal is coming from
• Not having biscuits etc. in the house
• Not drinking alot - or if you do want to have a glass of wine accept that it contains calories and adjust your diet to take this into account
• Having a target - have you seen the 10/10 thread for eating fruit and veg? I think its under health?

Also, could you do something like enter a fun run so that you had something to aim for?

Hope this helps - I think your husband should be telling you how sexy you are whatever your size if you have just had a baby - maybe you could go and have a great hair cut and get your nails done if you don't want to invest in some clothes that aren't really your size?

Just read all your posts - maybe your weight would get back to normal if you dropped some of the formula? If you are happy, stick with what you are doing, but just a thought?

Definately go out brisk walking everyday with the pram it really helps tone up and lose weight combined with a healthy diet. Make sure you take a drink with you though. I once went on a fast walk round the park in the sun when dd was a baby and I was bf I forgot to bring a drink and ended up with sunstroke that night! Also if you do feel upto dieting you can do Slimming World whilst breast feeding you just need to tell the consultant who will tell you to increase your healthy extras on the plan. It's a great diet you'll never feel hungry and if you do all green days you can have as many carbs as you want.

I'm just thinking about my last post - really do what you are happy with with the feeding - forget I posted that, It probably wouldn't make any difference, and I feel that I have just given you something else to feel bad about.

Thought I'd add that my weight went back to pre-pg atabout 5 months. Am still bfing (DS 6 months). It's still v v early days. Your body is still returning to normal, so be v careful about exercising - I tried running again and knackered my knees!

I'd sat buy some new clothes in a larger size and try and relax a bit

I know it's early days yet, I'm just so impatient!

The support on MN is fabulous as usual. You have all made me feel much better and more rational about this.

I do think half my problem is that I'm desperately trying to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans etc, and then getting down when I'm so uncomfotable all the time! Come 6pm I'm in my pj's most evenings...

I will just grin and bear this in the meantime, but I'll keep up the exercise and cut out (some of) the chocolate! I always find that denying myself certain foods makes me crave them more though, so I'll just ration myself a bit more.

Anyway, am knackered after all that running this morning, so am off to bed for a few hours kip before dd wakes up. Thanks again to all.