I don't think I can do it

[Owletterocks]

I have tried to lose weight countless times. I always lose and put back on (manage about a stone). I am fed up and fat. I hate any pictures of myself and don't have one picture of me and the children that I like. Last week i started on the diet again and lost 2lb but it's so hard and it takes so long I just know I will give up again. Don't really know why I am posting, I want to change but just don't know how!

Same

I was a normal size until I had dc1.

Sorry, that wasn't very encouraging, was it!?

I'm ashamed of myself and feel disgusting I can't even bear to look at myself in the mirror or windows. I've promised I need to do something before I see my cousin at Christmas and she always looks amazing. And I want to be healthier for my kids.

I was a normal size until I had my 3 DC and then over the course of 8 years I put on 6 stone. I look dreadful, cannot stand pictures with the kids or anyone else for that matter (to the extant my MIL says the kids won’t know what I look like if I die). I feel tired and lethargic. It’s all related to tiredness and stress with me. Anyway I have done what you say and yo yo’d a stone on and off. 2 weeks ago I joined the low carb bootcamp and so far have managed to lose 12llbs. I can’t say for sure i’ll Keep it off but it’s the best way of eating I have found. I am never hungry which has been the problem in the past. Good luck, it is bloody hard!!

I'm the same with photos.

I absolutely hate saying this as I hate sounding boastful but I was once pretty. Not beautiful just pretty. Now it's lost under fat

No autumn I am glad you are being honest. I am sick of people just saying you will do it etc when I know I can't. I know I am in a negative frame of mind at the moment. But I have just been in the position so many times before. Just calculated my bmi and it's over 30

Well done on your weight loss totty

I have always struggled but managed to move between overweight and normal until I had my dc1. He was stillborn and I piled it on after that. I have had 2 more children since and just can't shift it. I promised myself that I wouldnt be the fat mum at the school gates but here I am.

owlette, I can't imagine what you went through.

Owlett 🙁 that must have be extremely tough. It’s no surprise the weight piles on... stress is such a trigger. I wasn’t by any means saying low carb bootcamp is the right thing it a miracle cure, just that I have been so overweight for 8 years now with BMI in the 30’s and I too swore I wouldn’t be the overweight Mum at the gate (but heh here I am). It’s working for now so we will see so it was just a thought. X

Thanks for the suggestion. I will definitley have a look at it. I don't mean to be all negative, just having a bad night I suppose. It was a horrible time and comfort eating got out of hand. He would have been 7 this month so maybe that's why I am on such a downer. I still comfort eat when I am happy, sad, bored etc. That's the main problem I think. I see food as a reward, sometimes it feels like I think about eating all the time!

I think I am going to restart Cambridge from November 1.

I don't really want to low carb. I wonder if I could join those threads though?

Completely get it. I comfort eat for tiredness and stress. I also eat all the kids leftovers. I think I find filling out the spreadsheet and being able to eat anything except some carbs a bit easier but I also know your mindset has to be there (which is why I usually yo yo).

Join any threads you like - i’ve been on and off a few 😀 find the right thing for you. Good luck!

What does the Cambridge involve?

I am also pretty skint at the moment so can't really afford weight watchers or slimming world. I find calorie counting so difficult as I just feel I don't get the time and working out family meals is a faff. Aarrgghh, I just need to stop eating!

One plus is that I have discovered that I love cycling and go on a long ride once a week. It's not enough to shift 3 and a half stone though

It's a meal replacement plan - it isn't for everybody - but I've succeeded at it before.

@autumnberries I'm going to do similar but it's a cheaper plan. Maybe we can do it together.

I’m the same. I put onweight having dc and just can’t get rid of it.
I know all the different diets, I know all about healthy eating and the importance of it. I’ve made sure my kids have a varied and healthy diet but I can’t seem to stick to it myself.
I really, really want to start eating ‘clean’ only.
I cook decent meals every day but it’s the extras that make me stop losing weight. I want to give up all that crappy snacking.
I often feel lethargic, my skin is rubbish, I just don’t feel I’m as healthy as I should be.

The meal replacement concept is good for some people as it just takes food out of the equation and stops the cravings after a while.

I get that with fasting too. Just taking food out of my thinking for a few hours. I just need to stick with it longer than a week!

Over the last 6 months, I have lost 11kg. This weight crept on after DH moved overseas for his job, and I left my job and became a stay at home Mum. I ate because I was bored, because there were DS's leftovers, I drank too much wine and as I got older, my metabolism slowed down. Then I did the Dukan diet, lost it all and felt fabulous. It did not, of course, stay off. It crept back on again, and then some more.

What's different this time, is that I have finally recognised why I eat, and like the alcoholics' programme, I take one day at a time. Fell off the wagon today and ate 2 doughnuts? OK, so what? I'll have a limited dinner in the evening, and back on the diet tomorrow. Drank 2 glasses of wine in the evening? Next day, I'll be on the diet, and pour myself a diluted soft drink in the evening in a wine glass - so that I can give myself the same kind of experience.

I have also posted a very very fat photo of me on the fridge door, at eye level. That really works. I keep low calorie protein bars and shakes for when I feel hungry, aiming to eat 5 times a day. At this point in my diet, I can eat a dinner with meat or fish, and vegetables, and something sensible (soup/salad) for lunch. Small portions, and if I'm going to cheat, I've been told to cheat with meat.

OP don't give up. Accept that you will have off days. 2lbs is a great start - and don't forget that slowly is good. If you're wobbling on the diet, call a friend who is on it too and can motivate you to stay on track - offer that service to her too. Nothing motivates you more to lose weight than losing a little bit of weight. Try not to let yourself get bored, plan your meals so that you know what you're eating and when, and get yourself out of the house and moving as much as you can, away from the biscuits, and treats etc at home. Good luck!

Thanks chinup 11kg is an amazing weight loss. Well done.

I get what you are saying, think like an alcoholic, some days I feel like I am addicted to food. I think about eating when I am not even hungry, it's just not normal. I am thinking too far ahead when I think I can't do it this time. I am actually sticking to it for now but just feel like I know I will give up again. I have set myself exercise targets for this week and I feel like I will stick to it today so I just need to keep that mindset.

I wanted to eat this morning and then told myself I can't because I am obese it might not be the best way to go about it but I need to stop kidding myself, my weight is that bad and I can't eat in between meals now

I think it’s good to look at why you want to eat then not if it’s not for s genuine hunger.
But don’t start depriving yourself of meals because you don’t ‘deserve’ to eat. It can lead to disordered eating and binge eating.
How about trying not snacking because you don’t need it, rather than not eating meals?
This is what I’m trying. Leaving 4 hrs between meals too.

thequeen that sounds like a plan

I've been overweight since having my children, years of comfort eating and lots of various stresses over the years. A few stone became 5, then 6 and at my absolute worst, I had packed on the pounds to be 19 1/2 stone. My reality check was going to the GP for a coil change.... I had some bloods done, and had sky high BP and type 2 diabetes. Even then it still didn't really go into my head properly, despite a very stern lecture but my trigger "moment" was seeing a photo of me taken with one of my grandchildren. All I could see was layer upon layer of fat, it didn't look like the "me" I saw in my head. It broke my heart - then kicked me sharply up the backside where I needed it. I've since got a fitbit, the dog is walked off his little legs and I'm on medication that has reduced my symptoms of diabetes. I'm now in the 15 stones, and it feels utterly amazing. I still have days where I struggle, but the difference in how I feel is extraordinary. Without knowing it, I was constantly exhausted, irritable, constantly ill and had no enthusiasm for anything in life. I still won't pose for a photo as all I can still see is fat, but it's getting better and my target for getting to my goal weight of 11 stone will be getting a photo done with my daughters as I don't have any. There is no magic cure, and I would avoid any crank diets as you're not teaching yourself long term successful habits but what has worked for me is 4 small meals a day on a smaller plate/bowl, no sugar and I eat what I like for those meals but nothing in between.

Would realism help, OP?

Sometimes I think high goals can be self-defeating.

Rome wasn't built in a day.

Not many people can keep going in the midst of a life with lots of current stress, and the future goals so far away. Impatience, frustration, bingeing and self-hatred can be one undesirable result.

So, I'm a great believer in taking it easy and doing it in stages.

Things I did to change habits.

• Less bread and toast - maybe 1 in stead of 2 slices
• Cut back on the vino - buy the tiny little bottles!
• More home-made food
• Occasionally "slimming" meals e.g. apple in natural yoghourt!
• Less "bingeing" - just one small part of pudding rather than half of it because I shouldn't be having it anyway (mad logic)!
• More tasty salads where possible.
• Try to have last meal before 7 p.m.
• Try not to have too many temptations in the house, so avoid those "extras" I sometimes buy for children but end up eating myself.
• The occasional piece of dark chocolate or small yoghourt (careful here, I could eat 2 of them) to satisfy a sweet craving.

These tips or strategies developed over time though, and it helps if you just stay with it, giving yourself a year or however long you need to really consolidate changes. IMO its better to go from a size 20 to a size 14 and stay there, than bounce back and forth between size 8 and size 20.

Have a google on Saxenda, it’s a weight loss medication. FDA approves. I’ve bought it privately. I’ve lost a stone in just over 2 weeks. I have friends who lost more. Just stops all cravings, and although still hungry I am satisfied with half the portions that I was before.

In terms of weight loss I’ve never found it easier