I don't know how to start.

[DorothyHarris]

Hi
I'm just over 19st at 31 years old. I have been bigger. When I lived at home my mum's old manual scale went up to 19st13 and no further, so in truth I don't know how much bigger I was when I was in my early twenties. I moved out and got married. I went to weight watchers and got to 14st10. I felt amazing even though I should have been about 3st less than that even.
I then got pg, had 3 babies in 24m (one set of twins) and I'm back up to 19st (I lost 1st just after Christmas)
I don't know how to do this. I want to be healthy and active for my family but my habits are so ingrained I literally don't know what to do with myself anymore and I'm worried I'm going to die.
Please help.

Don't beat yourself up. You can take control of you want to - and it seems like you do want to so that's half the battle! What works for you? Can you think of a few small, simple changes you could make over a few weeks just to start feeling more positive? For example you could cut down on alcohol, walk more, crisps/chocolate only at weekends. Just make some small changes at first so that you feel like you're taking control, then see about stepping up with more small changes each week/month.
Or, it seems like SW worked for you before - can you go back there?
You can do it; be kind to yourself. It is also worth considering counselling to address the root of your relationship with food.

Habits can change I promise, I am living proof of that.
Ultimately you need to find what works for you and that seems to be different for everyone. Something that did work for me was approaching it positively where I could so buying treats that I liked that are good for you, sushi, sugar snap peas as a snack..
You have lost weight in the past, what worked?
What causes you to be overweight - portion size, chocolate addiction, alcohol?
(in my case it was everything!)