I am so very fat and I don't know where to start

[PippaFawcett]

I weigh about 18stones. I haven't always been fat, in fact I have put on about six stones over the past six years since DD was born and never ever slept. I used sugar as a crutch and now I am in a terrible habit of eating whatever I like. I have tried SW but hated the happy clappy stuff but it is affecting my life I no longer

• Have photos taken with the DC because I am disgusted by myself
• I turn down every social occasion I can get out of because I have nothing to wear
• I haven't worn jewellery for years including my beautiful wedding ring

My eating is erratic, I don't eat huge amounts just the wrong stuff and I constantly snack at work (where I work in an office by myself and I'm very lonely) to the evening in front of the TV when the DC are in bed. I used to be fit but now going up the stairs tires me out. I feel like such a failure and a shadow of myself.

Can anyone share their tips or stories of long term success? How do I even start exercising again? I work FT as does DH and we both collapse at the end of the day as we are so tired from the DC/commuting/work.

I couldn't afford it but I daydream about having a sabbatical from work for a year to sort my life out.

Weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise. I lost 4 stone without stepping foot in a gym or going out for a run. In fact I barely did any exercise at all other than going for brisk walks and occasionally doing things like squats and stomach crunches to tone up. Oh and using weights to tone up my flabby arms whilst watching tv.
I had to drastically cut my calorie intake down though from about 3000 to 1400 and I had to really stick to it even on weekends.
I didn't cut out anything though and still had a treat each day.
You know that the snacking is your downfall so you need to find the strength to stop doing it. I bet just by cutting out your unhealthy snacking you'd drop a dress size.
Don't starve yourself and don't try any fad diets as they are a complete waste of time.
This is what I eat on a daily basis now:

Breakfast - protein yogurt and berries
Snack - babybel and Apple
Lunch - bacon, egg and beans
Dinner - something like spag Bol with tiny portion of pasta, or chilli with tiny portion of brown rice, or stir fry with loads of veg.
I'll also have a chocolate bar and a gin and tonic or an options hot chocolate in the evening.
I don't touch anymore food even if I feel a bit peckish before bed.
I also drink 3 litres of water and don't touch fizzy drinks.
I still have takeaways and eat out regularly but I'll go for a smaller portion and something a bit healthier.
Could you get an exercise DVD to do at home? The 10 minute solution ones are good as each workout is only 10 minutes long. Doing one of those each day and also walking lots would help you tone up.

Thanks Teddy. And thanks for sharing your menu plan, that is interesting. I eat as a hobby as well which isn't ideal, I need to find other things to do with my time! I like exercise though, or I used to, so I do want to find a way to be more active.

I used to eat an insane amount. My plate was always piled high and I was constantly snacking on junk.
You have to really be in the right head space to want to lose the weight and then it's a lot easier to control the eating.
Could you try the couch to 5k app? Or is there a Zumba class nearby you could go to? They are always a good laugh.
I find I want to snack more when I'm bored so I try and keep occupied as much as possible. If I'm just chilling in front of the tv then I'll only allow myself one treat and will be really strict to stick to that. After a couple of months it becomes easy

I have a disabled son and lack of sleep is horrific for the body. I can no longer eat high sugar food because of the highs and lows and the continual rollercoaster throughout the day. So diets were you can save calories for treats are out for me. Good luck, even if you just can stable the blood sugars first you will see the difference quickly.

It sounds scary because you use it as a crutch, but one of the best things you can do for your health going forward is to remove sugar from your diet. It has no nutritional value, so isn't a 'food group' as such, and it will calm your food cravings.

There is a group of us on here who follow Michael mosely's Blood Sugar diet- it's a high fat/ low carbohydrate food plan with variations. Lots of people count calories doing it, but you don't have to. Changing from slimming world to this plan has actually changed my life, I could never go back to SW now.

All is not lost OP, you have made the first steps with your desire to change, and there are so many ways to lose weight. It can be hard, but is it any harder than how you feel right now? I'll try and post a clicky link to our thread and you could pop by and see us; there's always someone starting new and lots of experienced 'old timers' .
Good luck OP

Blood sugar diet thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/fasting_diet/2954578-blood-sugar-diet-thread-7

Have lots of calorie controlled portioned up snacks available. Snacking doesn't have to be bad, as long as you account for everything (that is, if you decide to follow a calorie counting / sw / ww type method)

I'm currently 16 stone and a short arse. I've managed to lose lots of weight using my fitness pal before - it really worked for me. I started again last Wednesday

I've started CouchTo5k too, which takes approx 30 mins 3 times a week. However, I've previously found attending a set class easier to discipline myself into going to, especially if you're going with a friend (therefore make you push each other into going even when you're knackered).

Regarding the plate piled high issue - we are very much like that. So, this week (and last time we did MFP and lost 30kg between me and DH), I've been piling half our dinner plates with a salad of baby spinach, rocket, watercress, a couple of spring onions, coriander and some garlic flakes. Properly measured out it comes to 36 cals each, and the plate is overflowing with food. Works as a psychological thing for DH. Also I've put the big plates on the top shelf in the cupboard so we can only easily access the normal dinner plates. Again, plate looks fuller = psychologically feeing less deprived.

Food wise, we eat a lot from the hairy dieter books.

Having low cal things to grab if you're feeling peckish helps - we have cathedral city 'chedds' bags, which are 67kcal, and the mini pepperamis at 40kcal, plus shitloads of bananas.

I may be just starting now, but I've been here before and succeeded in going from an 18 to a 12/14 within 4 months. This time I'm starting off at a 20, but now I'm 'in the zone' and I know the lessons I learned the last time, I'm confident I'll do it.

Good luck!

Could you start by re-balancing your eating and have 3 decent-size meals a day (anything you like as long as it's not too processed) and just have a rule that you don't eat anything else all Day?

I soon found that my body got used to it and it freed up my mind in a way as I didn't have to think or rationalise what I should or shouldn't
be having for the rest of the time. The side effect for me was weight loss. I lost 2.5 stone after having been overweight for 10 years or so and have kept it off now for nearly 3 years.

Don't beat yourself up though- remember that constant snacking on crappy sugar-laden cr*p is a relatively recent development that we've all been brainwashed into by the very powerful very profit-hungry snack food industry and supermarkets (e.g the company which makes Kraft/ oreos/ Cadbury is part of the giant tobacco company Philip Morris group of companies and employs many of the tactics that were used by the tobacco lobby before it Big Tobacco finally lost the battle to hide the fact that smoking kills)
I decided I'd had enough of being their victim- you're worth so much more than that and your kids will think the world of you whatever your shape or Size!

If you want sweet things, make a rule to make them- it takes more time and effort so you'll eat them less and appreciate them more rather than eat mindlessly.

I read yesterday that foods with lots of naturally occurring polyunsaturates are very good at suppressing appetite e.g a handful of walnuts ( on a salad?) or salmon steaks.

John Yudkin, a famous Cambridge researcher, wrote a very interesting get book some years ago - it was reading this and finding out more about how we are being manipulated to adopt a life of unhealthy weight and habits for profit which got me angry enough to change my habits (and how I fed my family).
It is called Pure, White and Deadly by John Yudkin.

Keep us posted, you CAN change your habits - you CAN be strong and don't have to be manipulated any more.

Pop onto the anyone want to lose 100lb thread here. It's very supportive and we are all in the same boat. This is a long term thing as the weight we need to lose won't come off in 6 months. We really do help each other stay with it.

Here's a link to it:

www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Pure-White-Deadly-Sugar-Killing-What-Stop/024125745X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1497853617&sr=1-1&keywords=pure+white+and+deadly&tag=mumsnetforum-21

For me (was 12st5, now 9st13 - done in 5 months) not snacking and keeping myself busy were the keys.
For your office I would ban unhealthy snacks and replace with fruit and veg snacks.
What kind of exercise do you like? I think you will need to ignore how tired you are and get out and do it. Exercise should give you more energy. And also find a hobby which stops you from being able to snack.

I know different things work for different people of course and support thread's and slimming clubs can be amazing, but I found that the more I thought about it, posting on thread's etc., the more I thought about food constantly and the harder it was NOT to eat.

I had my new habits (tough for the first 3 weeks or so) and then made a conscious decision to be busy with other things eg playing with the kids, walking dogs, spending time on myself, new hobby, etc.

I happened to notice the OP's post on the home page as I don'the usually come on weight loss thread's but thought you might consider something different and wanted a break from clubs and thinking about your weight too much.
Your weight and eating habits don'the define who you are- you are SO much more interesting than that ☺

Try hypnotherapy. Friend of mine was mentally addicted to sugar and it really worked fir her.
Newman
That book is nonsense

Ugh, sorry about the random apostrophes (predictive text).
Feel free to PM me if you need any other support.

I also have a disabled child and the sleep thing is a killer for dieting. the thing that works for me is to eat food that gives me energy but I feel healthy having eaten it. A normal day is:
Fruit and full fat Greek yoghurt for breakfast
Snack- a pot of yoghurt or some salted nuts, or cheese and an apple
Lunch: salad or scrambled eggs and salmon (try not to have carbs at lunch)
A grapefruit
Snack: as morning
Dinner: small portion of carbs, small portion of meat and loads and loads of veg (I try to fill at least half of a large plate with veg). Then 2 squares dark chocolate
I also walk a lot and try to be generally active. Using phone or Fitbit to count steps motivates me to see any activity as positive.
I try to eat small portions and think before I gobble up something really delicious and unhealthy about how I will feel after I have eaten it (will probably just want another!!).
You can definitely do it, just make small changes and try and stay motivated. If you have a bad morning, just start again in the afternoon and don't wait until the next day. I hope you feel better about yourself. Well done with your son.

Agreed. Sugar needs to go, eat protein and you will feel full.

Try to only eat when hungry and eat the right things. So full fat stuff like yoghurt, cheese etc. Just less of it. I have calorie counted, pointed, syn'd for years. Ultimately I need to eat proper food and not try another fad. I have a large tub of carrot and cucumber sticks that I take to work. Keeps me full and stops me snacking from the tuck shop.

Make time to exercise, even if you don't want to. You will find you want to after a while. I need to lose 60 to 70lbs. I want to do it in a year. It is doable. 1 to 1.5lb a week. I am trying to not deprive myself but if I am in the 'zone' I don't want to eat crap and find it easier to stick to after a while.

The first few days are the worst but it will be worth it.

I agree with previous posters - quit the sugar.

It isn't for everyone, but I have found that a VLCD has reset my appetite. I've gone from over 14st and a size 18/20 to just under 11st and a size 12/14 in the last four months. I eat my packs, I drink my water, and I don't have to think about what I can and can't have. I have done NO exercise - I walk to and from nursery twice a day and that's about two miles. I've also read the Beck Diet Solution which helps you learn new thinking techniques around food. It's been a revelation.

If you're too knackered from work and the DC to undertake any exercise, then don't. Focus on your diet and put the exercise on your to-do list once you've lost a bit of weight and the dc are older/less tiring.

The first four or five days on a VLCD are HARD. But once you're past that, if your head is in the right place, your body will soon follow.