Lost 9.3kg but feeling so deflated, please motivate me

[CreativeBee]

This is the first time I'm posting on here and to be honest I just need a rant but here's a bit of background, I'm 36, mother of 17year old DS and 11year old DD. Been married for 18 years, prior to having DS I weighed 45kg, after having DS I ended up with PND and piled on the weight. I've always yoyo dieted but never really stuck to anything until this year. I went away on my own to visit DH family abroad (they are lovely people) and I was teased about my weight to no end so on my return I decided I was going to finally do something about it. So far since March, with dieting alone, I have lost 9.3kg. The reason I'm feeling deflated is because DH cousin is getting married in November and I'm going to be seeing all the family again but I just can't see myself getting down to my goal weight of 62.1kg, I can't get motivated to do any exercise and feel so angry with myself. Sticking to dieting is not an issue but it's the lack of exercise. I look at myself and hate what I see, I still see a fat me and can't see the 9.3kg loss at all. Is this a losing battle or is there hope for me?

Firstly 9.3kg is an awesome loss. Please do it for yourself and your health though, you will be more successful.

It took me a long time to realise that losing weight for an event doesn't work for me- it puts on unnecessary pressure and a deadline which for me is counter productive.

Have you noticed clothes fitting better or dropping a size? Are you feeling fitter? These are more motivating for me than the number, so focus on those.

As for exercise, baby steps. Anything g is better than nothing. Start really small. Up and Down the stairs five times. Run around while putting laundry away etc burns calories as well as saving time.

You have done amazingly, please be kind to yourself, and did them other people, you don't need to impress unkind people, they're not cool.

I meant sod them other people.

Firstly, congratulations on your weight loss. That's a lot of weight to lose since March!

I do understand how you feel. After two miscarriages and then having a successful pregnancy I was the heaviest I'd ever been. In just over 18 months I've lost 20kg and have just 2.5 kg to reach my goal. I've found my weight loss has gone in 10lbs spurts. I'd lose 10 lbs relatively quick over a couple of months and then plateau for months and then I'd find the motivation to do another spurt and then I'd plateau and so it would go on.

I think those periods where you lose motivation are normal. After all, it's soooo boring to diet and be healthy!

You could try giving yourself a little break and work on maintaining your weight loss and then set a date for maybe 4-6 weeks time to give it another bash?

Also I've found it helpful to set mini goals. I know you have a big goal for the wedding in November but do you have anything else coming up? Wedding anniversary? Birthday? If yes, set a smaller goal for what weight you'd like to be for that occasion to keep you going.

As for exercise, this may be controversial, but I've always lost weight though diet alone. I walk to and from work but other than that (and running after my lo) I don't exercise. Most of weight loss comes from diet anyway so don't beat yourself up too much, the fact you can diet effectively stands you in great position to meet your goal weight by November.

I also get days when I don't see my weight loss despite me losing 20% of my body weight. When I need a reminder I pick up lo and think how he weighs nearly half of the weight I've lost and he's heavy! That helps me realise that I have come a long way. You should try it!

Good luck!!

Thank you so much, I have noticed my skin is feeling healthier and not as dry (most probably because I'm no longer drinking fizzy drinks and just water) and my clothes are slightly loose but not dropped a dress size yet . I like your idea of baby steps with exercise gojettersgo will definitely give that a go. Wow 😳 20kg!!! Well done that is amazing Aria2015. I feel much better knowing that it can be done with very little exercise

I'll look at that.

Also a Fitbit has helped me too. It's amazing how fitting in 5 mins walking here and there quickly adds up to a bar of chocolate.

I've just started to lose again but I'm going to buy fancy make up every time I lose 1/2 a stone.

imogenr thanks for that - I just read some of his blog - I like it! Makes sense and will try it! I have got into a bit of a rut and need to change things up a bit as weight loss is stalling

Thanks for all the ideas, weighed myself yesterday and I've now lost 10.3kg (yay me). I still assume it's water and not really weight loss but I think that's a psychological issue. Just been on the phone to DH family and apparently they've bought new clothes but I'm not to like them because if I do there will be a problem because they don't do them in my size . It should make me more motivated but it just makes me feel crap, I haven't told them that I'm losing weight or that I already have lost some, I wanted it to be a shock factor. I know I should be doing this for myself and I am but this sometimes gives me that extra drive to continue so I'm not constantly ridiculed

10kg, that's great.

I lost about 7kg, then it is slow down as well. I lost my 7kg by diet only. But now I start to do exercise, this is not for lossing weight only. As I found I have a bit problem with my back since I always sit either on computer or reading. I choose gentle yoga with a little bit dancing with music. Also, I tried to move around more. Walking in the park is a really good one.

Maybe you can do some exercise which you enjoy?

How much more do you want to lose to get to your target OP? You've done so well so far. Hang in there..

I I want to lose another 18.2kg by September, although wedding isn't until November it would be nice to be my goal weight beforehand so I can try and maintain.
Today I've just been moping around the house, I just lack motivation

How long did it take you to lose this first 10kg? It doesn't sound impossible.

I started on 28th March and weighed myself yesterday 22nd May (55 days). I really hope it's not impossible. DH is constantly arguing with me that I'm slowing my own weight loss down because I miss lunch. I eat breakfast in the morning (shredded wheat biscuit with milk) then don't have anything till about 6pm it's not that I'm starving myself, I just don't feel hungry and since DS was born 17 years ago I've never had lunch, just something I've become used to. My weight gain occurred from eating the wrong foods in the evening, too much of it and very late at night.

I think that's an amazing weight loss! I would suggest you try to find some sport/ workout that you enjoy. I lost 3st in 6 months and dropped 4 dress sizes. I skip meals (not that often but I sometimes don't get hungry like today). Weight loss is slow by nature. Exercising in my experience makes you feel powerful and invincible. Every time I go for a run I feel like the whole world is at my feet and every time I look at how much my body has changed that's the best encouragement I can get.

Awww revolution909 thank you, that really motivated me. I must admit that it's good to hear I'm not the only one that misses a meal and it seems like it hasn't affected your weight loss either. Can I ask did/ do you exercise everyday? Well done on the weight loss

I do! Well I work out 6 days a week Saturday is my rest day :). I didn't exercise that much to start with, the first three months it was just random walks and like 30mins doing dance routines on the WII. My walking evolved into running, now I run at least 30mi a week. I've stopped the dancing and now do yoga and strength training, I think it adds up to about 11 hours a week :)

wow! That's amazing, I just need to buy some motivation now

What on earth is mummy magic weight loss tea? If you removed the words weight loss I'd assume you meant gin

Damn!! I missed that last message seen as it was deleted, I'm assuming it was a good weight loss tip?

Think it was the one suggesting we all drink 3 cups of the tea I asked about.

Personally I feel that's a lot of pressure to put upon your self to want to attain your goal weight to attend a function - I understand how you would want that for yourself!

I have found that sustainable weight loss (ie the weight stays off and I am not restricting) is a long term journey of maybe a pound or two per month - depends how much you have to lose, with plateaus and then smaller leaps forward.

If you could consider making peace with the idea that slow and steady wins the race - and give your body the time it needs to release the excess, I know that could seem challenging!

But you are already successfully losing and I would encourage you to see how well you are doing and look forward to becoming the slim healthy version of yourself you are so keen to manifest.

All best wishes!

I hope you can stay motivated - life is better when you are healthy! IT's a tremendous feeling, not solely the weight loss, but other benefits such as increased self-confidence, improved health markers and ...feeling like the 'real you' perhaps the greatest dividend of all!