Having a weight related crisis

[IJustGotHitByADeer]

I'm going to a wedding on Saturday. My weight's been up and down for various reasons, but when I got the invitation a few months back I was a size 12 so that's the size I got a dress in. Tried it on recently and it doesn't fit. Panicked but realised I had time to get a different dress in a bigger size. My new size 16 dress arrived today and it is too small.

I don't often do hysterical sobbing, even in front of DH, but I am right now. Luckily as we've just moved house, everything is in labelled boxes and I've found a relatively formal dress from when I was at my biggest - one of the few I didn't get rid of because I wore it to my wedding rehearsal dinner.

So not a huge crisis as I do have a dress that fits but I feel self conscious in it and I hate my body right now and wish I could tear all the fat off it. I feel like the ugliest person in the world - in general big does not equal ugly and I find many so-called 'plus size' women utterly stunning but I feel like I personally look ugly when big.

Don't want to go to the wedding now, could use a bit of moral support

Poor you! Well today is the start of the rest of your life. I've been there. For immediate help, have at least a glass of wine whilst you're getting ready and you won't care. Make extra effort with your hair and make up so you feel.nice. Nobody will care as much as you do.

I am sure you look stunning. It must be a beautiful dress with wonderful memories attached if you wore it to your rehearsal dinner. Be kind to yourself.

What makes you feel good? Hair done? Makeup sorted? Great shoes? You're completely right that weight shouldn't define you and has no link to your worth as a human being, but if you feel uncomfortable in your own skin then do anything you can to alleviate that.

Very good point Sorrel - I was bigger than I would have liked on my own wedding day but that's not what I remember when I look back on the day. And I find when taken from the right angle I don't look as big in photos as I actually am (or think I am) so I won't worry too much about that

Guybrush I do actually really like my hair, it's naturally quite an unusual shade of red and gets a lot of compliments. I'll make sure I do something nice with it

Thanks

Don't be too hard on yourself (easier said than done, I know). I have to say if you're wanting to lose weight I'd really recommend a low carb diet. I'm doing it at the moment. I downloaded an app called MyFitnessPal where you can track calories and macros- for the last 7 days I've been on a moderate carb intake of between 80-100g of carbs a day. So far I've lost around 6lbs- Im really impatient so this is pretty ideal for me because it's quick results and sustainable because I'm not starving myself. Whatever you decide I think it's really important to make lifestyle changes that you can sustain, whatever that may be (you may prefer calorie counting, or juicing or whatever). It's important to learn to love your body too though as a number does not define you. Also just a little side note: your dress size means very little as different manufacturers make clothes to different sizes so it's not a reliable indicator of your real size- have you ever compared Primark sizes to Dorothy Perkins? A Primark 16 is more like a DP size 12-14. Xx

My moment was getting ready to go to a gig to see one of my fave bands. I pulled on my everyday jeans i.e. the only ones that fit and they were too small and had developed a hole on the thigh . This meant I literally had no clothes that I could wear (bar work clothes and the odd dress). I joined the gym that week and started weight watchers (old style, hate it now). I lost a stone in 2 weeks!!! I lost nearly 4 stone. It came off so fast due to the sheer amount of shit I'd been eating and drinking. It had only taken me a year to put it on!! I actually laughed when I first got weighed as I was so heavy it was ridiculous, but I also knew it was the last time I'd see that number til I got pregnant